I’m having a reoccurring nightmare.

I walk up the stairs to my bedroom when I have gotten home and I peek into Gary’s room seeing just his brown shoes and slacks. I assume he’s listening to his music lying on the floor, don’t know why he would be but I just go into my room and shut the door. Soon he’s at my side asking why I didn’t tell him there was a dead person in his room, he’s angry and I’m confused, I stand up and look in his room the same shoes and legs are there but I don’t venture in to see the top half of the body.

Why on earth would someone else be lying in Gary’s room dead and wearing his shoes and slacks? I have no idea but suddenly Gary disappears and I venture into his room slowly, not knowing what I’m going to see when I get in there. It’s only a few feet but I can’t seem to reach the end of his bed to see what’s really there and then I wake up, scarred to death.

So what the hell is this all about? I’m not sure, it certainly makes me worry about Gary, Jim and other males in my life (a woman simply wouldn’t be caught wearing those shoes…).

Recently a member of my best friend Suzanne’s home group took his own life. Tonight will be the first time the group is having a meeting since he died, she’s obviously shaken up.

My best friend Pat lost a client in similar circumstances – it was very devastating to him and he’s just now starting to come to terms with that. It’s affected how he deals with every day life and also how made him more active in looking for signs of depression and detrimental things to his clients well being.

And, my sponsee recently had a friend’s partner take his own life and then a scare that her friend might have done the same. It really shook up the sponsee.

So, maybe I’m just subconsciously thinking about death and seeing this dream over and over again is my subconscious way of dealing with it. I don’t have experience with this type of thing and I’m not sure the right thing to say to my friends or sponsee. I only know the things that have gotten me through my own crises: prayer, action, talk, and hugs… lots of hugs (god the cats hated that time).

Anyway, if you’re reading this and you have someone in your life that you care about or worry about – take the time to tell them, let them know how you feel today because tomorrow might be too late.