The Benefits of Smoking

I wish that I was still a smoker, if it weren’t for the $6 a pack issue I might still be a smoker, it’s just too expensive to smoke anymore. But I do wish I were still one of the nations smokers – no, I don’t want a cigarette and I’m not having cravings for one, I’m just tired of smelling nasty ass things on the metro and on the sidewalk. It’s possible that I have developed a sense of smell that borders along the likes of Kal-El, but it’s doubtful… and this is sadly one more reason Superman could not exist in real life, I bet Lois smells like a five dollar whore to him… nasty.

Seriously, how much perfume do women think they need? If I can smell your perfume and your a half a block away from me that’s way too much, think of the damage your doing to the environment. I guess maybe straight guys are attracted to someone who dumped a bottle of smelly water on themselves but it does nothing for me. I shouldn’t have to leave a Metro car because I’ve gone to the other end and can still smell your overpowering nastiness. I was in an elevator today with a woman and she had so much perfume on and had to breath through my mouth for 4 floors and cover my nose with my finger, the scent lingered in the lobby of the floor for hours afterward…

Not to be outdone, there are some men that like a ton of cologne as well, now I guess they could all be straight guys and their cologne specifically designed to attract women, but really… that much? With guys it can be the opposite as well, they perhaps forgot to shower that morning and didn’t think the other hundred people on the metro car would mind that they smell like an old gym mat. Yeah, I’m not gonna notice that your nasty.

I never had these issues when I was a smoker, I never noticed perfumes or colognes or for that matter – my breath. Smokers, you have no idea how nasty your breath can be, your clothes, your hair… it’s just eeeewwww. But I think if you didn’t have to smell other smokers, or all these flowery folks on the subway, elevators and sidewalks it might be worth a $6 a day habit that would end my life early…. hmmm, I’ll have to consider.

Meeting Directories

Wouldn’t it be nice if meeting directories had little bios or disclaimers? So you could be forewarned or at least prepared for what your about to attend or not attend, as the case may be.

Here are some ideas:

Monday Night Topic AA 7:30

Disclaimer: About 65% of the attendees of this meeting also belong to the fellowship On and On… and they do go on and on.

Tuesday Night 12 and 12 Meeting 8:00

Disclaimer: Mostly a just a 12 meeting, they don’t like to read or follow the traditions. You also may find the step of the night to be 3 but the actual topic to be your bad day at the office.

Wednesday Night Gay Meeting 6:00

Disclaimer: Expect lots of references to black and white movie stars, fashion and how being gay is the cause of alcoholism. Everyone is fashionably late, this meeting time is difficult make on time, but if they do make it they look FABULOUS!

Thursday Night Open Speaker Meeting 7:30

Disclaimer: Dressed up, greeters, disciplined. Commitments, greeters, decent coffee, an cookies. Speakers usually talk about recovery and are inspiring.

Friday Night Newcomers 8:00

Disclaimer: Sadly most of the recovered community have repaired the wreckage of their past and have things to do on Friday nights, so this meeting is pretty chaotic. Lots of sickness here and no direction usually.

Saturday Noon Big Book Meeting

Disclaimer: This meeting can range from open discussion with no Big Book in sight, or reading the stories in the back of the book – ignoring the directions (Page 1 – 164) completely.

Sunday Serenity Step Meeting 7:00

Disclaimer: Step nazi’s. These people don’t tolerate whining, bitching or moaning. You’ll hear lots about the steps, history, traditions and service work at this meeting. Don’t be surprised if a sponsor is appointed to you.

Yeah… I think this would be beneficial, and it might certainly save me some time.