Making Room for New Ideas

I haven’t been writing because there are things I want to write about that I can’t post here… and I find that frustrating.

  • I want to write about work, but can’t really, there are people that I work with that read this and we can’t have that. People sometimes take me too seriously and other times not seriously enough. Complaints, ideas, things I like or don’t like
  • I want to write about a volunteer thing I do, but again that’s a confidential thing and I can’t write about it here without violating certain trusts.
  • And one other thing I wanted to write about – a little fiction, but really porn. Can’t really share that here, people are easily offended…

But the problem is no other stories or ideas were popping into my head, just these three items over and over again. Sadly I can’t get something new to write until I get these out of my head – that’s how it seems to work for me.

So today I started writing the porn story and it’s much longer than I anticipated, and I’m really enjoying it… lol… well yes, the sexual nature of it, but I’m also really enjoying the story telling part.  It’s an old fantasy of mine involving a barber, but it’s also much more detailed than I think I usually tell of stories… not the sexual parts but the feelings and emotions, scents and textures of the shop. Honestly there were three pages before anyone got naked.

Usually when I’m telling a story I think – “they’re going to get bored, this has been going on too long” but not with this story, it just seems to be flowing well and kept me wanting to write more.

But I reached a point tonight where I can’t quite figure out how to get what I want out of it. It’s like the classic cheesy porn – what’s a good reason for the pizza boy to need to take off his shirt, thats kind of where I”m at, trying to figure out a reason and a smooth transition. It’s an interesting conundrum and giving me lots to think about.

Mostly the writing has freed up my mind and a new story has popped in, that makes me happy as it’s been a few weeks since something new had been rattling around up there. So over this week I’ll maybe make the time to write about the other two things as well and just keep them to myself – that’s a new thing for me and I don’t really like to do it, but they need to go so I can make room for new ideas.

A day of writing is just what the doctor ordered.

Ceased Fighting Anything…

“OK” is just a better answer to any question or request.

No one is really looking for solutions, creative thinking or honesty – they just want answers and results.

Less to worry about or care about or try to control or manipulate. Just do the next right thing in front of you and don’t get distracted by thinking or stewing.

Easy in theory, harder to practice not pushing back, not saying no or “why”. They don’t really want any of that, no confrontation or queries… no rocking boats.

Why show up at all? that’s what I was taught… suit up, show up, do the deal. Doesn’t matter if anyone else is doing it, you just have to show up and work.

But I’m tired.