Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Jamezrant

  • Training Tribulations

    I do a wide variety of tasks at the office. I like to think I do them all pretty well. One of the things I do that others think I do well is train people.

    All I really do is share what I know. It’s akin to Alcoholics Anonymous – someone shared with me so I can do this better so now I’m sharing it with you. I may on occasion have to modify my message to be heard by someone who can’t relate to it a certain way or other but still share the same message. AA gave me that and I’ve been using it for quite a few years now.

    It works for me with the people that have come into the office to be trained. I don’t lecture, or teach I share. I’ll sometimes say “this is the problem, and here is how I found a solution” and then show them how I did it. Action (that’s another thing I learned from AA), take the steps to show others how to get past an obstacle. This has worked time and time again.

    But now I have a new problem. (more…)

  • Revolution

    I’ve been up for a few hours thinking about a revolution.

    Thinking about America the broken.

    Last night I wrote about acceptance and turning the other cheek so to speak… but even as I finished writing it I thought “what a bunch of pollyanna bullshit”.

    Looking back and seeing hate, vitriol and santorum (look it up) win state after state, primary after primary and each and every time it was downplayed (first by the Republicans) as a fluke. A rarity that couldn’t possibly happen again and again. We underestimated the power of .. well, the dark side. The possibility of such an asshole being elected to the seat of President were so absurd we stopped really fighting it.

    We, the People, let both sides lie and manipulate us again. We let the Republican’s continue to believe they are “value voters” and the Democrats that they could win against orange skinned hate mongers.

    The American Tea Party – a bunch of well off, old, white Christians, and Ben Carson – thought they were leading a revolution. They thought to accomplish this by obstructing the American government with such notable brain trusts as Sarah Palin, Chuck Norris and the aforementioned Dr. Carson. They succeeded in preventing change from happening, preventing growth of the economy, protection of rights and values. They succeeded in protecting the only things that ever mattered to them: their wallets and their white nation (with Ben along, for show). [disclaimer: I am an old, white man] (more…)

  • A Small Rant

    I had a conversation tonight with two gentlemen I respect – well mostly I listened 😉 We were talking about how the American way apparently is to take and keep taking. It isn’t about give and take or about giving until your heart bleeds – the American way is about pleasing yourself. No more being nice, no more helping for helping sake, no more old softy. I don’t really take them seriously, we’re hurt right now after this election.

    Many people are already tired of the talking and sharing on social media and at the water coolers. This is big stuff folks and will be here until America’s Next Top Model or naked photos of some celeb show up to make us all forget – ‘Murica!

    It’s been an emotional day for me – I’m sad, mad, and scared of the future. I would like to disown some friends and my older biological sister. I would like to deport half the country.

    I’m mad at the gays for being so behind Hillary before the race even started they refused to see her as anything besides the winner. I’m mad at the Democrats for fucking Bernie Sanders (yes, they did). I’m mad at the Democrats for not recognizing that Bernie’s followers wants and needs mattered.

    My friend Randy, he’s a nut really but sometimes he has good moments, said “I don’t think this was so much “for” Trump as it was about being “against” the status quo. I think if Bernie were in the race he would have won. I think the majority of the nation wanted a Bernie, and odd as it sounds, Hillary is soooo career politician, that Donald was the closest thing to a Bernie.” and I think that hits it pretty much on the head. Many will disagree with me – that’s ok, you still have a couple of months of free speech before they take that from us.

    I voted against someone – rather something – else. I voted against Bush and Bush Beta. I voted for Bill Clinton twice, I voted for Obama, also both time. I rather liked that. It was rather nice to have something to vote for rather than against. I didn’t vote for Hillary (never really liked her, don’t have to have a reason but it has nothing to do with Bengazi or emails it’s just a feeling) rather I voted against Trump (hate, fear, intolerance, rudeness, insensitivity). (more…)

  • What's Going On In My World

    A nightmare woke me up this morning around 1:30 – couldn’t fall back to sleep after an hour or so so I’m up.

    Someone was using text messages to hack into my brain – their little profile pic showed it was the Bones villain Christopher Pelant, a very smart computer guy who makes other peoples lives hell. He taunted me in the message a few times, I’d close it and another would open up again. I turned off the wifi and it was there again… pop, a new message from the hacker guy.

    I felt as if he was inside my mind trying to erase important data that I needed. I had an image of a tall brunette woman with an axe chopping through walls that were made of magazine paper. “It’s gone, I’ll find it and you’ll never even know it was yours” she said.

    I tried to close the chat window again and it just wouldn’t close – Pelant taunted me again, his profile pic laughing at me.

    A friend grabbed my hand and said – “shut it all down, shut it all down before it’s too late.” but my other hand went to close the chat window… he squeezed my wrist and yanked out the power cord.

    and I woke up

    I was kept awake by the thought that maybe someone was really hacking into my brain – like on Johnny Mnemonic and they were taking something valuable. Then I realized I don’t really have anything valuable… so I started obsessing about work…  (more…)

  • Voting in 2016

    I can’t remember if I ever voted when I was drinking, 18 – 23… can’t imagine why I would have bothered to. But I’ve voted in every election since I sobered up in 1994. Voted once or twice for a Republican in a local race if I thought they were the better candidate… would again too.

    This election though I don’t know if I even want to. I was very excited when Bernie was in the race – it reminded me of the hope and energy of Barack when he first launched. I wanted… I want more change in Washington and even though the road for President Obama was met with obstacle after obstacle he still got major things done that have given me opportunities I otherwise wouldn’t have. I do believe that most of the hate he faced is a race thing – they say it’s not but that’s certainly what it looks like… if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck …

    I wouldn’t vote for Trump for sure… I mean the guys a loud mouth racist… and apparently half the country wants that in a President.  He’s not the guy for me though – I like intelligent, caring people that want to move the country forward. I think he’s more of a “look at me, aren’t I cool” kind of guy… and I think the country has enough of those already. (more…)

  • Gun Violence Reminder Update 7/2/16

    I’m going to post this regularly and watch as it grows until we have sensible guns laws.

    Source: Gun Violence Archive

  • Angry Gay Rant of the Day

    I happen to be gay.

    I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. I didn’t wake up one day and decide “hey let’s be ostracized and hated for the people we love” – I just have always been this way. I happen to like the way I am. Most people know I’m gay, I don’t hide the fact that I like men. I am not overly flamboyant or girlie nor do I wear lots of rainbows, dresses or sparkly clothing – neither do the men I like.

    I am not the stereotypical gay male – most of us aren’t the characters you’ve come to know and love on TV or in movies – we’re just ordinary people who happen to love other ordinary people. Some of us ARE more fabulous than others but the same could be said about straights as well. We are all unique and we all have a right to love whom we want – gay or straight, male or female, binary or non-binary… love is love. (more…)

  • Something New

    I can’t study. Or maybe I don’t know how? I’m uncertain. Maybe I forgot how.

    I once studied to be a police officer – had to learn about laws, guns, and algebra. I studied and recopied everything they gave me to prepare. I memorized guns by their shape and abilities. Somehow I passed the written tests to become a police officer with 80% all around (even math)… then they asked me about LSD and I told them the truth – so they said I couldn’t be a police officer. Was kind of sad I suppose. (I think everyone should do LSD at least once, was my favorite drug and I’m fairly certain it’s not physically addicting) (more…)

  • Unity.. no thanks, I have plans

    I don’t like people. (I frequently say “hate” which might be a strong word)

    I’ve said that a million times before and it’s still true. One of my bosses says that too – I tell him he doesn’t because he’s so nice to everyone, but he insists that he does. Probably why I like him so much. I guess you could say I’m something of an introvert – I would rather spend time alone than in a group setting. My “fun” time is at home with a good book, writing or watching some TV. I find it very difficult to have “fun” in a group of people… can’t do it.  (more…)

  • Fatigued Funnies

    I didn’t sleep much last night. I went to sleep around 11 and thought it would be a full night of rest.. but a little after 2 I was wide awake lying in bed hoping to fall back to slumber. But sleep won’t come when you want it to it seems… So instead I got up and did some reading and some work… and headed to the office. I think I got there a little after five…

    Anyway, it was a long day and I spent it doing my normal stuff.. you know: creating chaos, listening to people whine, shaking my head while reading emails from co-workers…

    Anyway I started to run out of energy around 3 today at the office and laughed at things that weren’t all that funny… that’s a nice thing I guess and laughter is good for you they say.

    it continued tonight when I arrived home – I laughed for a good five minutes at this picture from Facebook

    deleted image

    I’m trying to stay awake for another hour or so, in the hopes that I’ll sleep through the night, watching some old episodes of Castle and it’s making me laugh… and a cat meme… and a lot of silliness

    I hope you’ve had a laughter filled day like I have – sweet dreams.