I had a conversation tonight with two gentlemen I respect – well mostly I listened 😉 We were talking about how the American way apparently is to take and keep taking. It isn’t about give and take or about giving until your heart bleeds – the American way is about pleasing yourself. No more being nice, no more helping for helping sake, no more old softy. I don’t really take them seriously, we’re hurt right now after this election.

Many people are already tired of the talking and sharing on social media and at the water coolers. This is big stuff folks and will be here until America’s Next Top Model or naked photos of some celeb show up to make us all forget – ‘Murica!

It’s been an emotional day for me – I’m sad, mad, and scared of the future. I would like to disown some friends and my older biological sister. I would like to deport half the country.

I’m mad at the gays for being so behind Hillary before the race even started they refused to see her as anything besides the winner. I’m mad at the Democrats for fucking Bernie Sanders (yes, they did). I’m mad at the Democrats for not recognizing that Bernie’s followers wants and needs mattered.

My friend Randy, he’s a nut really but sometimes he has good moments, said “I don’t think this was so much “for” Trump as it was about being “against” the status quo. I think if Bernie were in the race he would have won. I think the majority of the nation wanted a Bernie, and odd as it sounds, Hillary is soooo career politician, that Donald was the closest thing to a Bernie.” and I think that hits it pretty much on the head. Many will disagree with me – that’s ok, you still have a couple of months of free speech before they take that from us.

I voted against someone – rather something – else. I voted against Bush and Bush Beta. I voted for Bill Clinton twice, I voted for Obama, also both time. I rather liked that. It was rather nice to have something to vote for rather than against. I didn’t vote for Hillary (never really liked her, don’t have to have a reason but it has nothing to do with Bengazi or emails it’s just a feeling) rather I voted against Trump (hate, fear, intolerance, rudeness, insensitivity).

I’m in a burn them all to the ground and watch them die kind of emotional storm. Let’s scorch the world clean of all this vile hate, religion and pain. We have elected just the guy for the job.

Two things though, that keep me from that – first is somehow my Grandma Starr. She exposed me to politics and law long before I knew I would care about any of it. She was passionate, fierce and stubborn – of course a Democrat. She was knowledgeably opinionated in a way that  made you stop and think about what the real issue was that we were talking about – what mattered and why was it worth fighting for. She helped form my young mind into something more than just a small town boy from the midwest – she taught me to see the beauty in even the ugliest trees. I’d rather not right now, but she was right.

She would write letters to the Editor, some saw her as a wack job for the amount of articles she wrote and the many different subjects she was versed in, but she made sure she understood what was really going on and this was before the internet and I don’t think cable television was a thing for her either.

I’d like to think my Grandma would look at last nights defeat as a challenge to bring out the good in people. I’d like to think she could show me the way to still help people, still make sure the quietest voice gets heard when it needs to be. She’d show me that one Grandma, one person can make all the difference.

Secondly, is what I was taught in Alcoholics Anonymous about tolerance and how to get over resentments.

One of the big ideas in Alcoholics Anonymous is you “win by surrendering”. What? That’s stupid… oh I know, you can go to many newcomer meetings across the world and see the confusion and hopelessness seem to sink even further into despair  as they hear that.. You can’t win by surrendering, by giving up.

But you can and alcoholics prove that in meetings day after day, year after year. We just quit fighting, anything or anyone – we have to or it kills us. It tells us to focus on what we can do for others, how can we help, how can we make their lives better – their struggles seem less a burden to them.

The little “miracle”, for lack of a better word, is that it works. We forget about our troubles no matter how big, if only briefly, and start to think of others. That’s probably the true “Christian” thing to do too, but it’s hard to tell with them anymore what they think is right and wrong (opinion).

(the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous talks in one of the stories in the back about praying to get over resentment too – its the most read part of the book I believe sometimes – no where near the directions – you can google it, I wont link to it).

We don’t have the luxury of hate, we don’t have the luxury of sitting idly by and letting people fall. My grandmother and AA taught me to stick out my hand to help pull them up. That’s the job before the country, in my family and in our world – coming together to find a common solution to what’s wrong with the world.

I’m going to lick my wounds and be sore for a few days, maybe a few weeks – but I’m a survivor of other administrations I thought would ruin the world. In some instances they did, in many if I look at it with wearing my blue colored glasses, in others they didn’t (I can’t name any, but I’m sure if I wanted to I could find some on FoxNew’s website that might be true in some round-about way).

America, the world for that matter, can’t let this keep us from doing the right thing. What this is for us is an opportunity to change what’s wrong with the system – my Grandma believed we can and I witnessed her do those things (on a smaller level) with other like minded people.

So I’m going to do my best to be a better example, I’m going to demand that from other people in work, in family and in love. I’m American, I don’t fall this easy, I get up and I show you what we’re really made of and then I change the world.