I’ve always wanted to go to Greece to see the old temples and the city. Explore the rich culture and history. When my Ma passed last year she left me a little money so I decided this was the time to go.
First thing I did was Google tours and found a tour company that could show me a great time for a week for close to $11,000 – not including air fare. So that was out. So I decided I’d do it on my own with the help of Google and ChatGPT.
I booked a flight from Norfolk –> Philadelphia–> Athens, going premium seating which is like regular First Class seats. Later I upgraded the flight out from Philadelphia to Business Class – which was nice but I found I couldn’t sleep due to a lot of turbulence.
I wanted to be able to communicate once I arrived so I bought English to Greek phrase book and signed up for Duolingo Greek. I also signed up for PrepareforGreece with Dimitri which was helpful. Turns out I didn’t need to do that at all, everyone I spoke with in Greece spoke English really well and were just pleasantly surprised when I managed a Greek word or two.
I booked an Airbnb in Athens and really didn’t know what or where I was going to end up but it ended up being perfect, walkable to many sites and a lot of local flavor to experience. The place had a nice dog and two friendly cats too. Nice guy Willian who gave me great ideas on what to do and how to do it. He was great.
It was the end of the school year in 1985 in Whitehall WI. I had broken into my grandmothers locked room, rifled through it and maybe scraped together 20 – 25 bucks to spend on beer. She had had enough, rightly so, and called social services to deal with me. My mother had had enough of me too and that’s why I was living with my grandma.
Social Services of Trempealeau county came and escorted me out of the home and took me to a group home in Eau Claire for the weekend. I didn’t know what was going to happen next and just did my best to get by, no issues with the group home. Just a scared teenager with no direction. Come Monday morning my case worker came and we drove from Eau Claire to Galesville. I don’t recall any conversations that may have happened on the way, but I was probably told that I had made my last screw up,
We arrived at a long brown house at the end of town. I had a bag full of my belongings and carried that with me. When we entered the house I saw an old man and woman in their living room. The man was in a t-shirt and was dirty as if from work and the old woman was sitting in a rocking chair knitting.
That was my introduction to Ron and LaVonne Prudlick, my Pa and Ma.
We quickly went over some rules and expectations and they showed me to my room. It was early afternoon and the other foster child, Steve, wasn’t home yet. The case worker left and I settled into my room, I lay on the bed and was scared, unsure what might happen next.
That first night I remember crying and just laying there in fear and uncertainty.
Ma and Pa invested in me, taught me responsibilities. Gave me chores, allowance. Made me get myself up for school, do my homework and eat with the family at the table every night. I believe because of their discipline, love and attention I graduated from high school.. sure I wasn’t top of the class, but I made it.
Flash forward to me being a regular drunk – they loved me even then. They’d pick me up when I was in trouble, dropped me off at treatment and even picked me up when it was done. Never did they not answer the phone when I called, never did they give up on me.
After I found sobriety and made my amends with them all they wanted to “make it right” was for me to stay sober. The love wasn’t conditional, it was based on what was best for me.
I was preparing to move to Washington, DC and stopped by to say good bye to Ma and Pa. I remember the big hug from Pa and Ma telling me that I always had a home no matter how far I traveled. She also said “if it doesn’t work you can always come home”. Home was always there.
When I came out of the closet a few years later there was no judgement, no condemnation; just love and Ma saying it didn’t change anything. There was that unconditional love that they always gave to me.
When Pa passed away suddenly, 17 years ago, I was a mess. It was a big loss and this person I had always expected to be there was suddenly gone. I made changes after that loss, made sure I would always go home for Christmas and other visits when I could afford to go to. Just to make sure I didn’t miss a moment.
This last year we learned that Ma had liver cancer, stage four. I flew home. Ma and I talked about life, death and what we should expect. I made sure she knew that I loved her and would be there for her.
We had our last Christmas together this past year, we were living in the moment. Ma wanted that. She didn’t want special treatment or people to be sad. She wanted us to treat every day like it was just another day.
Then Rhonda let us know about 4 weeks ago now, that Ma was declining. I had just talked with her days before and she was fine. They had told us when it started to go it would go fast. I changed up a flight I had scheduled for July and headed to Wisconsin. I was planning to stay a week and get all the extra time in I could, I ended up staying an extra week and helping out.
When I first arrived Ma was walking, talking and perfectly fine – within days she declined. In that two weeks it was rapid downward trend. When I left she could barely walk with her walker, we had her in a wheelchair, and she had started to lose her finer motor skills.
When I said goodbye I got a big hug, I squeezed as tight as I dared and told her I loved her. She said she loved me too.
It was a week later that hospice said she would go very soon, she clung onto life for three days just sleeping and Saturday morning she was gone.
I lost my Ma Saturday. She was my Ma for 40 some years. She taught me so much about how to be a good person, to not judge others and how to love. Ma is what I think of when I think of love and what it truly means. Unconditional total love.
This week I’ve been focusing on others, staying out of my own head. Everyone keeps asking how I’m doing and I respond the same way – as best I can, considering. I have support of a lot of people – specifically my sister Rhonda, my best friends Suzanne and Eric. My job has been so accommodating and I have the most understanding boss. My sponsor Flo also has reminded me of lessons that I needed to remember, he’s my sponsor even thought I don’t go to AA any longer, he’s another one of those humans I talk about later.
We’re having the funeral on Tuesday, that’s what she wanted. She helped plan everything out and chose anything we presented her with. We may cry and be sad and that’s alright. We will suit up and show up and greet all her friends and acquaintances from her life. We will remember all the good times and share stories.
I used to chew my fingernails, did for as long as I can remember. Then one day I realized I stopped. No conscious decision was made, I didn’t make it a goal… one day I looked down and my nails were long. When I clip them now sometimes I clip too short and then they look like they used to when I chewed em.
Stopping other things haven’t been as easy for me. It took me two bouts in treatment centers before I found sobriety, and then it was AA that paved the way for me to find a solution that worked. I’ve not had a drink in almost 31 years now and for the most part I don’t think about it at all. Sure when someone has some rum the smell is appealing, but I don’t feel the need to take a drink myself. Avoiding certain situations that might put me in danger of a drink is normal behavior for me. Friends are sometimes concerned about drinking around me but it doesn’t bother me. What does is if they get stupid drunk, stupid drunk is no fun for anyone.
When I quit smoking 20 years ago, I was all set to quit on January 1 – I bought the patch, the lozenge, the gum and a hypnosis tape to listen to. When the 1st came around I quit without any of those things and was just grumpy for a few weeks. To this day I still have dreams about being a closet smoker, it’s weird. I can’t stand the way smokers smell today, can’t imagine being that smelly for as long as I was.
At work I would order a milk shake every day after lunch, got pretty expensive but I did it every day. This year for my New Year’s resolution I quit shakes, that was kind of hard to give up the sugar rush I had every afternoon, but so far I’ve been free of them. It was an easy change to make, but I still get the occasional craving for one after lunch.
I’m sure I have other bad habits that I could attempt to change, but none come to mind right now.
In my bedroom there is a nice sized Superman collection; memorabilia, action figures, statues, paintings and more. On Facebook I saw a queen sized bed set that was Superman, but I felt like that might be too much. One thing I don’t want to quit is my love of Superman.
I’ve been a Superman fan forever. Read a ton of his comic books, seen all the movies, watched all the cartoons. It’s the things he stands for an his goodness that I like so much.
There is also a story – when I was working at Children’s National Medical Center for a grant that served kids that were terminal; one of the patients made his way up to the 6th floor to see his favorite nurse. When he passed my desk he saw one of my Superman figurines and looked to see me, with hair and Clark Kent glasses. That kid became convinced I was Superman.
Whenever Donnell would come for his appointments he would ask to see Superman and I would get to “fly” him to all his doctor visits. People started calling my Superman and it kind of stuck. Donnell was a great kid.
I don’t have the muscles, the spit curl, or the cape – but I try to do as he would do. I help, listen and bring hope. When I think there isn’t anything I can do, I look for something positive to bring. It’s corny, but it works for me.
This summer a new Superman movie is coming out. I’m already planning to take the day off after opening night so I can catch the midnight showing.. What I’ve seen of the new movie looks very good, especially like Krypto and how he’s being portrayed. The actors and actresses all appear to be good fits for the story. James Gunn has a lot of characters slated to be in this one, I hope it isn’t over crowded and too complicated. I also hope the story isn’t rushed. Mr. Gunn has done a great job on other movies so I have high hopes.
If I find another habit that I want to break; whether by self-discovery or someone else pointing it out. I’ll do what I’ve done before and use my super power, of doing the right thing, to make sure I succeed.
Superman inspires me to be a better person. Always has. Hopefully always will.
I was working in a call center at a small business in Virginia Beach when my friend asked me to come work for her business for a bit more money. I said yes and put in notice at my job. They didn’t want to let me go and suggested that I could make more doing the call center gig than I could at my friends company. I was set to go though.
One of the directors at the company heard about me leaving and said (I heard this 2nd hand) “we have to find a way to keep the good ones”. They approached a manager in another department and asked him to offer me one of his open positions.
That manager called me in and started talking about sales. Sales. A dreaded word in most industries full of liars and crooks – that’s what I was thinking anyway. He explained there was an opportunity here to make more money and that he had listened to some of my calls from the call center. He said “I think you’d do well”. I told him I’d think about it but really wasn’t sure this was something I wanted to start to do. Could I be an “honest” sales person, is what I wondered.
I talked it over with people that I run things by and also expressed my concerns about the gig at my friends business. I decided I would give it a try and if it didn’t work out I could approach my friend about her position that she assured me would always be there if I needed it.
In the beginning I would make my calls similar to a call from the call center – make it quick, get em an appointment and off the phone. A colleague, also from the call center now in sales, advised me to take my time, that here it wasn’t about how many calls you could make but what you could make of that call.
They assigned me a zone to sell in, Indiana. The previous Inside Sales Rep (ISR) didn’t mesh well with the team and struggled to make goal. I was kind of forewarned that it might be tough to get into their trust and have them want to have me part of their sales.
Fortunately I had a great Sales Manager (SM) and Assistant Sales Manager (ASM) that were patient with me and also integrated; me into their culture. I was invited to their weekly meeting, where I was asked to participate and they tracked my monthly goals right along side my teammates. They were great team and soon became accustomed to me calling them, asking questions about scopes of work and letting me know of customers I might wan to follow up on.
Books on sales and selling, on winning people over soon filled my Kindle and Audible libraries. I crammed as much knowledge as I could about this new direction. My head was filled with a lot of ideas about what makes a good salesperson.
My first months were less than illustrious, they were ordinary. I think it was a sold two months before I reeled in my first sale and it was a small one. I was so proud though, I had done it and it wasn’t that hard. I had made hundreds of calls and sent many emails but this one had just been a cake walk, they wanted what we had and were ready to pay for it.
But I wasn’t an instant success, sure one sale, but what else could I do. I kept reading books, kept doing word for word what they told me and I was struggling.
We hired a new director shortly after I started. He had plenty of experience in Inside Sales and sales in general. During a one on one meeting he told me “forget about all those books, just be yourself, people like you and want to buy from you. Just be yourself”. That was something I hadn’t tried so I thought I’d give it a go.
Sure enough, just talking to people, asking them how I can help and answering their questions works quite well. My close percentage went up and I was having fun, which is something I highly recommend.
That’s how I got started with my job in Inside Sales for Groundworks, a much bigger company than it was 4 years ago today. At the time I think they had acquired maybe 4 other companies on the east side of the country and now we are an international phenomenon.
It hasn’t been the best year in my sales career, far from it. My zone went through a lot of change and there were firings, hirings (and even a rehiring) and promotions. My SM moved to California and things changed. We hired a new SM, got a few ASMs and a bunch of new guys that didn’t know me. The buy in from my Indiana team is not as prevalent as it was in years past.
My dedication and effort were being forgotten – I wasn’t making the calls I used to. I wasn’t putting my true self into conversations. I wanted an easier softer way that I’d seen others use with great results. Well that’s not for me. I need to make the calls, connect with the customer and my team and then I can succeed. I spent the last month trying to build that motivation and dedication back up.
The Inside Sales Team when I started was 6 people. Now there are 40 I think. 40 is a lot. We’ve grown as Groundworks has grown, we had to. We have great camaraderie and we’re breaking records together. Over half of the team works in other states and we only see them a couple times a year, but we have developed friendships amongst ourselves and that makes for a better team.
This month I’m covering for a teammate out on maternity leave, that zone is Iowa – in addition to my Indiana branch. Spring is almost here and that’s when things can really pick up for us across the country. I’m up to the task and will continue my efforts to help my customers and teammates.
Four years ago someone considered me one of “the good ones” and set me on a path in sales. That path has brought me to new friendships, skills and a future I never dreamed of. Thank you Groundworks, Inside Sales, and my teammates.
I want to buy a big gun, carry it with me everywhere; frequent Chick Fil A restaurants and white churches in a rainbow shirt with it slung over my shoulder. If I feel the least bit threatened I’ll pull a Kyle Ritenhouse and just shoot people. America!
I am afraid. I am an unabashed atheist and homo. My country has just re-elected a “man” that is a direct threat to my freedom.
My country, the so called “land of the free” has opted to have a rapist, racist, homophobic, narcissistic pedophile for a second term. A con man who has a playbook written out to destroy our democracy and enact theocratic policies. A tyrant who is planning to deport several million immigrants that came here looking for the American dream – that which has become a nightmare.
The Democratic Party and Independent Party (if there is such a party) need to begin now with plans for the future – did you fuckers learn anything yet? have you grown a pair? Do you have any potential candidates that aren’t approaching 80…. It’s time to stand up and fight back like you have never done before. Don’t let this monster push his agenda through. Learn to play dirty… but also start grooming your candidates for the future. If you can’t fight, if you’re too old or too weak to defend your constituents then get the hell out of the way. Don’t run Kamala again, give us new blood, give us the inspiration and hope we had with Obama.
I’m for a younger generation of leaders, people that still recall the sting of their student loan debt, that remember trying to survive on a minimum wage. Let’s find some common strength in youth and actual values.
I have friends who didn’t vote, or those that didn’t pick anyone for the Presidential part of their ballot. These people either “didn’t know enough about Kamala” or “didn’t think she would be respected”. Did they not know enough about Trump? Did they not see the way the other countries laughed at us his last term, except for Russia, his friends there. These friends may think I’m over-reacting and panicking. I may be.
I may not.
If White Christian Nationalism continues to gain in power it wont be long until they come for me. To silence me, to jail me, to end me. Believe as they believe or suffer the consequences, act as they want you to act and keep your opinions to yourself. You think censorship stops with Jeff Bezos turning off the Washington Post voice? You think their idea of “god” and religion are just going to let you believe the way you want – ha.
Today on Facebook many of my friends turned their profile photos to black. I have many friends and many of them did so. I did so too. I’m mad. I’m serious about the gun thing, at least about getting one. I want to be able to defend myself when they come for me. I’m mad and folks that didn’t vote. I’m mad.
The monster that was elected – a felon, a rapist, a racist, a fascist and more. A man who has insulted every sub class of America and threatened violence upon his enemies, firing squads I mean really. “Oh, he didn’t mean that” Sure Jan, sure. A threat to the promise of America an end to a once beautiful democracy.
Today I celebrate 30 years of continuous sobriety!
It’s just another day; I plan to go to work, have dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant and be in bed by 10. It is a drastic change from when I was using daily.
Life was different then. I usually woke up a little drunk from the night before and I’d head off to work (if it was a good day). I smoked at least a pack a day back then too, so I was smelly. I wasn’t big on brushing my teeth so my breath was likely lethal. Hygiene was not my friend.
All through the day my head would replay events and resentments and I would focus and be angered by something that occurred that had no basis on reality most of the time. I would imagine futures and pasts of horrible consequence. I would hang with my friends and talk about the upcoming nights events that always included alcohol and if I was extremely lucky – some LSD. I had my share of nicknames, but in the end most people knew me as Mr. Trip or simply Trip.
It always started with the first drink and usually ended up with me passed out somewhere. My friends would try to rouse me if I passed out in bars, but if I didn’t wake they’d just leave me there on the floor. I didn’t have a license so I’d walk home or to a friends.
Employment came and went I did land a job and keep it a year once, but more often then not absenteeism or being late or drunk resulted in me getting booted.
I wasn’t a violent drunk; just stupid, sappy and messy. Looking back I was probably the one they laughed at, not with. Never one to fight, mess with girls or drive (I didn’t receive a license until I got sober).
I owned nothing except a few boxes of comic books and was renting to own a dryer – long story. I lived with friends where I could with no responsibilities and only a desire to get drunk.
Final Bender
As I recall my last day/night drinking was in Ettrick WI. I had sung a song or two at a wedding for friends and was dolled out in a white tuxedo. It was the night after the wedding at the reception and I was broke, unfortunately there wasn’t free beer, so I stole what I could and begged and borrowed enough to get sloshed.
I had been suicidal and planning on ending it all soon. I was miserable and tired of everything. I didn’t have any hope at all. I shared my suicide plan with a friend who had shared his suicide plan with me a few days previously – however he wasn’t in that state any longer. Soon I was on the phone to the cops asking for help. Friends surrounded me and got me to go with the cops as I had changed my mind after I called for help.
The local guys took me in to the psychiatric ward in LaCrosse WI. I was the best dressed guy there. It was at the hospital and they had left me alone for a few minutes and I got to thinking – what the hell was I doing, I didn’t want to be here, so I started putting on my shoes and then a police officer came in and said “you’re not going anywhere”.
I spent 4 days and nights in there the room was padded but I didn’t get a straight jacket. They fed me meds and told me they were just vitamins, which I believed for some reason. I didn’t want anything that would get me better, I still just wanted to be done with everything.
On day 4 I had my day in court, where I was ordered to not more than 111 days in a drug and alcohol facility. That didn’t scare me, I’d been in one of those before. A country cop transported me from the hospital/psych ward in LaCrosse all the way to Eau Claire WI and a treatment center named Fahrman Center.
One of the counselors, Shelly, did my intake and showed me to my room. I was still hopeless and didn’t have any cares in the world. I’d get out of there soon and be on my way to find a drink.
I did the 21 days inpatient treatment there. Group sessions, chores, homework and some excursions. I was just playing the game, answering questions like I did in the last treatment center. My counselor was Brien and I liked him. He and I had an instant rapport but I still didn’t want to get better. If I thought of a way out I had planned to kill myself as soon as I was free.
HOPE
On Saturday’s they would invite members of the local recovery communities to come and share with us. It was similar to an AA meeting and the speakers would drone on and on about themselves and we were supposed to get something from that. Well one Saturday a kid named Terry came and told his story and for the first time I could relate to someone and felt a kinship.
That night I prayed to the “god” of my understanding “If you can make me as happy as that kid seems, I’ll do anything”.
I asked Terry to be my sponsor and he gave me direction almost immediately – 1 shake every persons hand and introduce myself, even if I knew them, before and after a meeting. 2 Northside Group (an AA meeting) would now be my home group. I may have rolled my eyes at both suggestions.
So I set about doing what I was told to do I attended the Northside Group and the Pacific Group and would shake everyone’s hand before and after the meeting no matter what.
The Pacific Group of Eau Claire WI is an offshoot of a meeting from, where else, California. The founder of the Eau Claire group was sponsored by the founder of the LA group. Very different type of meeting than I was used to and I planned to stick around long enough to tell them they were doing it wrong. Instead of moaning and bitch sessions you would get uplifting stories from speakers and participants that left you wanting more… lots of oohs and ahhs and hand clapping at almost everything.. and they had cake.
There were two pretty girls who also attended both groups, one named Krista (though I only knew her as “cake lady” for a little while) and one named Suzanne. We became friends and often they would give me rides to meetings and other things.
My sponsor Terry got drunk. I wasn’t privy to the details, I just was destroyed. I asked another member of the Northside Group to be my sponsor – Joe. Joe had double digit sobriety, a job and was married… we had nothing in common lol. Joe’s wife Carol also in the program, sponsored both Krista and Suzanne.
Joe took me through the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and we worked the steps. I did my homework and I wrote my list. I was still in the halfway house portion of the treatment center and they were very concerned with me doing my 4th Step with my sponsor instead of some clergy member. The treatment center’s version of the 4th step left a lot to be desired and didn’t help me. Whereas sharing my list with Joe and talking about my resentments, fears and sex conduct really opened my eyes and showed me what kind of a human being I was – not a very good one.
Our sponsors invited us over to go through the book as a group, there were about 6 of us sponsees when we started but by the end there were about 4. We went through page by page, word by word examining it and coming to terms with what Bill W meant in 1935 compared to what we mean now.
I learned valuable lessons in Alcoholics Anonymous – how to suit up and show up, how to introduce myself, how to volunteer – even if I didn’t want to – just raise your hand. The one thing AA didn’t sell me on was the idea of “God” but I followed the sayings and words and prayed to a god I didn’t believe in. But it stuck in my craw.
Meetings were a regular part of my world. I would go to 2 – 3 meetings a week. Roundups (conferences) and workshops. AA was my life.
I was though, the angry young man, and everyone knew it. I had resentments that I couldn’t work past that were current and damaging. One night at a meeting I was particularly mad and Krista turned to me and said “no one said you have to stay here” and it resonated with me. So I walked away from my home groups and went solo.
Still mad, but reading the book every day. Talking to a fellow AA member every day and still hanging with Krista and Suzanne, but I wasn’t happy. I would go back to meetings here and there but not shake hands… I was a little pissy.
At year 4 or so of sobriety I moved to Washington DC and soon came to miss my structured, recovery based meetings. Themeetings I found in DC were whine sessions more than anything else (see this story My Experience with DC AA) . I wasn’t a fan. Took me about 10 years to find like minded people there and we made our own groups.
After 15 or so years in DC when my job came to an end, I moved to Phoenix. I found recovery based meetings there and a new sponsor Flo. Flo and I went back through the book and I was regular at my home group. (See this story: My Sponsor Won’t Shake My Hand)
Walking Away
Not believing the core part of Alcoholics Anonymous – the need for a power greater than you – was a real dilemma. It seemed all my fellow members believed where I couldn’t and I found I couldn’t talk from my chair or the podium and claim that I believed in something any longer.
At 22 years of sobriety I made a decision to walk away from AA (see this story: Walking Away from AA). I told my sponsor and he had said he could feel me slipping away so it wasn’t a surprise, he still loves me and we talk once in a while.
What I found after I left that I was no longer stressed about getting to the meeting on time. No longer concerned if the room was set up just right. No stress on shaking everyone’s hand – which neither DC nor Phoenix was into. No dissecting other peoples shares for what was important and what was just fluff. Not that you’re supposed to criticize every inch of a meeting or compare members to others, but I would. I was free when I left, free.
Eight Years Later
So what’s happened in eight years?
Nothing really has happened, life is good, I’m happy overall and living life to the best. I don’t have cravings for alcohol – I do have dreams where I’m a closet smoker though, which is so odd. I don’t hold resentments, don’t say daily prayers to things I don’t believe in and don’t attend meetings.
I have a great job that I love to go to, where I get to help people every day. I live with my best friend, Suzanne, who still does go to meetings and enjoys them. Life goes on for me and I think I’m less angry, less worried and have overall less anxiety.
AA is a great program that taught me a lotabout life and living (See this post: Worker Among Workers). I wouldn’t be the man I am today without their help in the beginning and the many men and women who came before me. I practice several parts of the program daily and it matters to me.
Today, I’m almost a militant atheist. I try to bring truth to the world and those around me and probably get blocked on Facebook as a result, but I think it’s important. My life is deity free, and I’m willing to risk an eternity in hell to prove it.
Several of the key philosophies of AA that I still follow – help other people, have no opinion on outside issues, anger and resentment are the mind killers, be self-supporting, watch out for defects of character and more. There are good parts in the 12 step recovery programs.
Today, I’m 30 years sober. Something I never thought would be possible. I remember when I was new thinking people that said they had 15 or 17 years of sobriety had to be lying, why would someone choose to live that life? How could they go so long without a drink, it baffled me.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous promises that as far as alcohol goes sobriety will make you immune to the temptation, that you’ll recoil as if to a flame. That’s come true for me – I don’t recoil, but I don’t mind if it’s around me, except the smell of wine… can’t handle that for some reason, and I wasn’t a wine drinker.
Sobriety isn’t for everyone and not everyone needs it, but if you have a problem with alcohol or drugs or both, the 12 step programs can give you a solid foundation to build on that will lead to permanent sobriety. If you want/need help – go to www.aa.org or www.na.org and take a look. It can be a scary place to start and very uncomfortable – especially with those NA folks, they hug. True story: the reason I chose AA over NA was because the NA folks hugged me, ewww. They do rather insist upon the “power greater than you” thing and no matter what they say, it’s “God” they’re referring to.
There are secular alternatives to the 12 Step Programs – S.M.A.R.T. Recovery is one and there are others, use Google, it’s your friend. I looked into SMART but it’s not for me, I’m not a meetings guy I think.
Sobriety changed me from a drunken loser with no prospects into an old man with a life beyond what I ever imagined. In the beginning it seemed very hard, but the more days you string together and practice the principles, the easier it gets. I don’t think of a drink today or drinking, don’t play resentments in my head all day, plan my days around getting stoned or drunk – I just live life. That’s all I can ask for.
You can’t watch that, read this, or do that. You must do this, pray this way and worship this God. You can’t eat that, smoke this or drink those. I’m afraid that’s where we are and where we are headed if white Christian nationalists continue to meddle in the affairs of everyday man and woman.
It’s not just book banning and burning by people in southern states that worry me. It’s small rights being assaulted in many jurisdictions across the country. Small laws here and there or school boards pushing agendas into schools contrary to science and literary works.
Here in Virginia there is a relatively new law mandating websites that contain porn requiring them to verify the age of the viewer before granting access.
SUMMARY AS PASSED:
Civil liability for publishing or distributing material harmful to minors on the Internet. Creates a civil cause of action for any commercial entity that knowingly or intentionally publishes or distributes on the Internet material harmful to minors, as defined in the bill, and that does not take reasonable steps to verify that the age of a person attempting to access such material harmful to minors is 18 years of age or older. The bill also clarifies the definition of “sexual conduct” so that it is neutral regarding sexual orientation for the purpose of crimes related to prohibited sales and loans to juveniles.
PornHub, a Canadian owned company, streams various genre of porn on the internet. In response to the law enacted in Virginia, and other states, they have restricted access rather than complying with the bill which would require serious overwatch of personal data and change of infrastructure of their site. PornHub’s statement to Virginia users follows:
This law seems unconstitutional to me – not only violating my privacy rights, by making me share my ID with a company, but also my right of anonymity that allows me to surf the internet anonymously.
and
I enjoy porn occasionally, I’m not addicted or anything. I’d say I access a porn site or two maybe 2 or 3 times a month at most. I know there must be people that are daily viewers and some that are indeed, addicted to the services offered. To be fair there are numerous porn sites taking no action as a result of this law that I can access with no hoops to jump through. And I’m pretty sure I had paid my subscription right before the law came into effect, so there’s that.
But I say it’s a responsibility of the parents to monitor their children’s activity and restrict what they can and can’t do on the internet, not a corporation.
It’s a silly thing to take a stand on, I know and I may face backlash, criticism or mockery. But it’s another right that is slowly being taken from us. Another set or other peoples morals and beliefs being thrust upon us.
It won’t stop with porn, or the books they find offensive…. your rights are at risk and they’re coming for them.
It’s been a long time, but I read Animal Farm when I was a kid and I recall the slow, seemingly small changes that happened that no one thought would matter. But in the end all the rights are gone, things deteriorate and the pigs can’t be distinguished from the human oppressors. This kind of thing is happening now. Our rights and freedoms are being attacked by a loud minority. People who’s goals include their brand of government, religion and rights.
Please pay attention, yes there is a big orange elephant in the room, but there are small battles being lost that will impact even you and your rights happening in your own backyard.
In recent history I recall being worried about George W Bush getting re-elected as he was pushing a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman. It was a terrifying thought to me, that there was that much discrimination and hatred out in our country trying to deny me and mine our basic rights. W never did get far with his idea and maybe it wasn’t as popular as he thought.
Now our country faces an even greater threat to freedoms. Not just freedoms for homosexuals but freedoms American’s take for granted each day. A threat to the foundation of our country a threat named Donald Trump.
I don’t say this lightly. We’re speaking of a man who has threatened American institutions such as freedom of the press, and the electoral process. A man who has mocked and laughed at our disabled, our prisoners of war, our leaders. Someone that has made an embarrassment of himself and the country to the world stage. He’s a person that instigated a mob onto the US Capitol and threatened to hang people.
He’s a rapist, he’s prejudiced, hateful. He’s a conman of the highest degree.
A friend argues that he “tells it like it is” and that he’s been “railroaded”. That he’s good for America and just wants to make America great. My friend plans to vote for him and nothing I’ve argued has swayed his opinion of the man or gotten him to change his vote.
I fear for America, there seem to be so many people cheering on this megalomaniac that he has swept the primaries and is slated to run again in a Presidential race. This man does not care about our country, depite what his hats say. This man cares only for himself and those groveling mongrels around him… and those only to a certain degree.
I’ve come to the conclusion these people that continue to support this evil are one of three things:
Stupid – just plain simple minded idiots
Conned – they have bought into his whole con hook line and sinker, they can’t see a the forest for the trees.
Traitors – these are people who want a dictator in power; who decry the democracy, freedom and forward movement of our country. Who laugh at the idea of hanging our leaders in the Capitol rotunda.
I have another friend who won’t vote for Trump, but also is not voting for Biden… she’ll cast her vote for an independent, no matter the cost to the election results. I can’t sway her either.
Despite my fears of George W Bush winning a second term, which he did. My fear for our country, our values and our very existence at this moment is greater than I thought it would be.
I urge you to vote in the up coming election, to look with open eyes and heart at what’s truly at stake here. Lives of people you love are in danger; hopes and dreams of many about to be lost and the stupid, conned or traitorous will just laugh as it happens.
I HAD AI RE-WRITE THIS:
As our nation progresses, some individuals may find that their initiatives do not gain as much traction as initially anticipated. Presently, however, we confront a more profound menace to our liberties—not merely those of the LGBTQ+ community, but the fundamental freedoms that Americans cherish daily. This threat goes by the name of Donald Trump.
My assertion is not made lightly. We discuss a figure who has actively undermined American institutions, including the freedom of the press and the integrity of the electoral process. His disparagement extends to marginalized groups, including the disabled and prisoners of war, as well as to global leaders, tarnishing both his own reputation and that of our nation on the world stage. Furthermore, he incited an insurrection at the US Capitol, advocating violence and endangering lives.
Trump’s record reveals him as a sexual predator, a proponent of prejudice, and a purveyor of hatred. His tenure epitomizes the epitome of a con artist.
Despite these stark realities, some contend that he “speaks his mind” or has been unfairly targeted. They assert his purported benefits for America, unfazed by evidence to the contrary.
This steadfast support for Trump troubles me deeply. It suggests a populace either misled, wilfully blind, or actively hostile to the principles of democracy and progress.
In my view, those who continue to champion Trump fall into three categories:
The Misguided: Individuals lacking critical insight, deceived by simplistic rhetoric.
The Ensnared: Those who have fallen victim to Trump’s elaborate deceit, unable to discern truth from manipulation.
The Subversives: Individuals who actively seek authoritarian rule, rejecting the core tenets of democracy and embracing chaos.
Furthermore, I have encountered acquaintances who, while refusing to support Trump, also refuse to endorse an alternative. This indecision, while ostensibly principled, risks complicity in the erosion of our democratic values.
Reflecting on past elections, including George W. Bush’s second term, my apprehensions for our nation’s future have only deepened. I implore each of you to exercise your right to vote in the upcoming election. Consider earnestly what hangs in the balance—lives, aspirations, and the very fabric of our society. To disregard these perils is to invite their fruition, and history will judge us harshly for our inaction.
Blizzard has recently released a new server type on World of Warcraft (WoW) that lets you play in a new mode “Hardcore” or “Self-Found”. What does that mean?
On normal servers if your player dies you can be resurrected by running back to your body from the nearest graveyard, or by having a fellow player cast a spell to bring you back to life. Some characters even have a self-resurrection spell they can cast to come back to life without help or running back from the graveyard.
Also on normal servers there are auction houses, you can trade items with other players and send and receive in-game mail.
With Hardcore/Self-Found you cannot do those things or get resurrected. Once your character is dead it stays dead. (well, once you die you can request a realm transfer and then keep playing that character I guess)
It’s also on World of Warcraft: Classic – a version of the game that takes you back to how it was designed during the initial 1 – 60 level game. It’s nostalgic and harder to play than WoW – Retail.
I decided to try it out and created a new character and played for a bit, leveled up to 6 and then noticed I wasn’t actually a Hardcore/Self-Found player, I had neglected to check a box…. ugh.
Second attempt I remembered to choose the right realm/server and also checked the box. Lots of disclaimers you have to click to make sure you realize the limits of this type of play and the dangers…. I didn’t read em, I felt I knew what I was in for.
I first rolled/created a dwarves warrior. I figured tougher to kill, better armor and fun. I did pretty well, was hack and slashing monsters and npcs (non-player characters). I thought, this won’t be a problem. Then while I was attacking a bad guy another bad guy popped up and started hitting me from behind, so I was fighting two. I thought I’d be ok… but between the two of them they drained my life to zero.
When you die your guild (if you’re in one) gets a large red notification “Hiexo has died at level 8” is what it said…. I only made it to 8. if you make it to top level (60), the whole server gets notified with some music and text celebrating you.
Not to be deterred, I rolled/created a gnome rogue next. Rogues are sneaky and can stealth so other can’t see them…. how could this not be a successful journey….but before I knew it I was level 8 again and got killed by two leper gnomes. UGH
I tried another character, maybe I’d be better rolling/creating a Horde character. So I rolled another warrior an Undead named Noq. He got to level 6…. I’m not cut out for this it seems.
Once again I wanted to try, this time I gave a gnome mage a try. I did very well, ran away whenever I got scared or saw extra mobs come towards me. I got past the initial zone and the secondary zone. I was in a guild, I had a bar full of bags (10 slot bags cost more silver than I had) that had dropped off of mobs. I finally had talents and was still running from troubles – one of my spells Frost Nova freezes mobs in place so you can run away. Well, I got a little cocky and thought I could run through a bunch of troggs (a caveman like humanoid) but two of them stunned me and the casters kept shooting and me and boom “Noq has died at level 12” UGH!
It’s been an awful lot of fun to go back to Classic and try to level these characters with the extra challenges. There are parts of Classic that I am glad have been upgraded in Retail – easier to make money, quicker leveling, shorter time of hearthstones…. there are quite a lot of things. But it was nice to play old school and remember things that I had forgotten – like campfires need tinder and flint (in Retail you can just build a fire without reagents) or the Freefall (slow falling) spell needs a feather.
I’ve been playing WoW almost since day one (November 23rd 2004 was day one of the game, I started in March the next year). When I first started I was so lost and a total n00b (new player with no clue). But it was fun and I quickly made friends that are friends to this day. I even traveled to Winnipeg once to see some of them.
Hiexo – my level 70 Gnome Rogue
WoW keeps adding expansions, new content, new ways to play and experience the game. While some of the changes I don’t like and some times it seems the game has become “easy mode” I still enjoy playing. Hardcore mode adds some challenges that I like and I’ll probably try a couple other characters.
if it is very interesting to use talk to text and preparation for my shoulder surgery which will happen on March 18. I’ve been trying to use just my left arm for the past few hours and it’s a challenge.
I worked in the accessibility field for seven years a few years back. And I always knew about the need for accessibility in websites but never had the need for myself. Using this tool which Apple created for me I can type a whole new web post.
but it’s a challenge because I keep wanting to use my right arm to do things like brushing my teeth or opening a pill bottle or opening a bottle. Period. And even this isn’t typing exactly as I would like it’s a tight but I’m doing the best I can with what I have available.
a friend of mine just reminded me that one of the challenges will be wiping my butt with the other hand now that is probably too much information what is this something that you have to think about. I did recently purchase of the day which is going to help with all of that oh the day b.i.d. ET oh well that didn’t type as well as I would’ve liked it too but I think you catch my drift. And all the controls for the day are on the left right hand side which is another thing that I have to worry about it will I reach over with my left hand to take care of it I don’t know and every time I say but they are types of the day.
and my big concern is a really are getting any work done and playing video games. No I know those two things are vastly different in what it is that I’m trying to do but those are the two things that occupy most of my time. I really like playing video games and I do think there are some accessibility settings in world of warcraft which will allow me to play the game with the left hand. So that I’m not too worried about I even went so far as to purchase a left-handed mouse which will arrive tomorrow that I’m going to practice with here at home and maybe I can get one for work as well.
it’s funny to try and do things that you normally do with both hands are with just your right hand and then try to do them with just your left hand that’s interesting it’s up I struggle for lack of a better word. Like for instance I made my coffee this this evening for tomorrow morning to prepare before the night I prepared in the night to make sure that I have it ready for the morning so I can just push a button and brew the coffee. Opening the fridge to get the filtered water opening the coffee container to get the grounds entering all of that into the machine with just your left hand was entertaining enter.
I do have friends were going to help me and I’m thinking that I’m going to have my my medication is prepared and one of those little pill reminder things settle be easy to just get two rather than having to open the pills each and every day. I’m planning ahead for Lasso little things like that that’ll help me to prepare for when I can’t use my right hand so I’ll be more prepared to get by without it.
I do sleep on my right hand side even if I start on my back on my left hand side I end up on the right hand side so I’m not sure how well I’m gonna be able to do that and if it’s going to interfere with my sleep as well. I’ve been trying to stay on my back but sometimes in the night you just roll over in their yard but I imagine if I’m in pain I’m not gonna be able to do that until wake me up.
navigating the computer has been interesting you I’ve had to learn a lot of new phrases enter commands to get it to do what I wanted to do. But I’m getting the hang of it or so I think.
can you take some things for granted that normal people just do every day edit isn’t until an event like this that you realize how lucky you are. There are people without hands without arms or legs or other disabilities can’t do simple things that we just do every day. It’s nice that Apple and other software companies and such have made tools available so they can participate in computing ark writing or similar activities and I know that there have been good advances as far as prosthetics that allow people to do things that otherwise they could not.
so it’s probably just me whining a little bit here and there about what I’m going to go through and for all I know I may not be as bad as I’m anticipating I am getting a little worried here and there about what’s gonna happen in pain management and mostly getting bored I’m really worried about getting bored.
today at the office I put in for time off for the surgery. And so far I’ve only requested a week off. I’m not sure if it’ll be longer than that or not but I wanted to be prepared just in case I have somebody covering for me to handle all my tasks well no not really some of my tasks which is nice because I was worried about that at all be meeting with some bosses in the next week or two to plan accordingly for some of my other tasks.
physical therapy is currently scheduled for the first week five times that week the second week three times that week and then we’ll see evaluate after that and see what else we need oh I just reread it and it’s three times a week for four weeks and the first two weeks at five times a week that’s a lot and I’m not sure if that means includes the time that I’m going to be doing the work at home because I do plan to do the exercises at home as often as I can without you know hurting myself more. Because I figure the more I do them the sooner I can get back to the office and play video games yet. Priorities people priorities.
anyway I’m not sure how many more possum gonna make about this but I’ll make some post after the surgery to let you know how I’m doing keep you updated on the pain threshold and my progress with physical therapy and movement of the shoulder area. If you get bored with reading I do have some other post you can read back I’ve been doing this for about 15 years she can read some past posts and comment on them and like them and share them I get other people read them that would be nice of you. After that
this post has not been edited or proofread it’s just how I talked it and how the computer interpreted my words
