I can’t remember if I ever voted when I was drinking, 18 – 23… can’t imagine why I would have bothered to. But I’ve voted in every election since I sobered up in 1994. Voted once or twice for a Republican in a local race if I thought they were the better candidate… would again too.

This election though I don’t know if I even want to. I was very excited when Bernie was in the race – it reminded me of the hope and energy of Barack when he first launched. I wanted… I want more change in Washington and even though the road for President Obama was met with obstacle after obstacle he still got major things done that have given me opportunities I otherwise wouldn’t have. I do believe that most of the hate he faced is a race thing – they say it’s not but that’s certainly what it looks like… if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck …

I wouldn’t vote for Trump for sure… I mean the guys a loud mouth racist… and apparently half the country wants that in a President.  He’s not the guy for me though – I like intelligent, caring people that want to move the country forward. I think he’s more of a “look at me, aren’t I cool” kind of guy… and I think the country has enough of those already.

I’m not though interested in Hillary for President. Haven’t been since before the campaigning started… and immediately I was called chauvinist and woman hater. Frequently they would say I just don’t like women… I don’t like women for my bed partner but I like many women for their smarts, charm, shopping skills, puppies… I just don’t want to sleep with them.

All the gays (except the nut jobs that always vote republican) want me to vote for her. I think all of them are if I believe the Facebook posts. They are excited about her in droves of rainbows and high heels… I was impressed that she attended the Gay Pride parade, that was pretty cool.

Many women are excited about her… but not all women. Many of my women friends have no idea what she’s even about. Of course many of my friends love Bernie…

The Hillary fans are using a lot of fear tactics, akin to what a church does… “believe in God or you’ll burn in hell” “vote for Hillary or Donald will turn America into hell”. That tactic doesn’t work on me with the church and wont work with the candidates… I shouldn’t be forced to vote for someone just because the other candidate is worse. Is that what our “freedom” has come to mean.. that I get to choose the lessor of two evils? And that’s my only option? (my libertarian friends will chime in with their candidates about now, but I tone them out as much as I tone out the Hillary Drones – sorry, not sorry, it’s true). Or they talk about the Supreme Court nominees that the next President may get to appoint and how that will change the world as we know it.

I sometimes wonder if it makes a difference at all. All the nonsense that gets passed – only to have a court over turn it – only to have another law get passed – only to have people just blatantly break the law and not face consequences as a result.

I want something more in a candidate. I want a major candidate to stand up and say “term limits for all elected officials” or “an end to all wars outside our nation, bring them home and repair our shattered country” “feed the poor, house the homeless NOW with everyone’s money”.

I want dramatic change that helps people and brings us closer to a nation of intelligence and sanity. I want candidates that don’t kowtow to the religious right or filthy rich. I want a government that actually makes our country a land of the free… with freedoms many other nations have in place (education, health care…).

Bernie wants to change the world… for the better… the Democrats booed him yesterday when he said “it’s not just about winning elections”. He’s right, their wrong. Why vote for more of the same from the same lame ass messages we’ve been fed for decades from candidates…

Even better – why hasn’t Hillary adopted large amounts of the change that Bernie’s followers want? Yes, she won the nomination (I guess) but in most of the states the votes were close… (Hillary drones will say “3% isn’t close in elections” or some crap, I look at 49% vs 51 % and I’d say that’s fucking close) and if she wants our votes shouldn’t she address those issues… if she’s unwilling to change or grow on this why would I think she’s willing to do so as the leader of our country?

I went to her website today, I don’t want to be accused of not researching and just casting judgements (I am, but I read up on her goals anyway). Nothing there to me said anything but moderate change at a snails pace. If the GOP has control of the House or Senate is there any doubt the majority of males in that body wouldn’t put up the same roadblocks they did to Obama? Old fuckers who’s been milking the government for all it’s worth for up to 40 years care about hope and change? I don’t think so.

A good friend of mine worked directly for Hillary when she was the Secretary of State. She had nothing but good things to say about her and I was impressed with how remarkable my friend made her sound. I know she’s done good in the world…

I just don’t want to vote for her.

I don’t know if I’ll vote at all.