Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Friends

  • Never Quite What I Expected

    This was quite possibly the oddest year I’ve ever had. I started out the year surrounded by a host of friends supporting me during a small crisis and ended up the year with a host of friends surrounding me during a major crisis. I’ve been very fortunate to have such good friends, family and mentors in my life… and this year it paid off.

    First, the list of Favorite Things of 2008
    Movie: The Dark Knight (Heath Ledger was spectacular and it was a great comic book story)
    Album: Evolver (John Legend) – if you buy any album this year, buy this one
    Video Game: World of Warcraft – Wrath of the Litch King (I am getting a bit bored with the game, it’s been my favorite for 4 or 5 years now)
    TV Show: CSI – lots of changes over at CSI this year, not sure if I’ll like it after all the changes are done but I’m trying to remain open minded.
    Airline: Northwest/Delta – the way they helped me in November was just beyond what I expected – Kudos to them
    Coffee Pot: I got a new one, Cuisinart and it’s the best.. I bought one for Lisa it’s that good
    Gadget: Kindle – electronic books I love this thing and I have a ton of books on it.
    Web page: Facebook – dang this thing is addicting and fun

    As per usual, every Sunday morning if we are in DC – Mark, Robert and i have breakfast somewhere before our Sunday meeting. Annie’s changed their menu this fall so we are currently looking for a new place to eat – we may have found one after much searching.

    I started out the year following up on quitting my job, I had made the decision to quit back in November of 07, and events that happened in December just made me want to hurry out that much sooner. I gave notice, a months notice and told them I’d be happy to help them out for a while until my replacement was settled in. Then I was fired the following week (yes Gary fired). They locked me out of my work station and wiped my Blackberry clean. I was resentful for a while, but most of it got out in my blog and I felt better.

    Jim DiLuigi (who was also fired, but in December) and I wasted no time, but started up Access-Ability Consultants, Inc and have been working steadily since. Its a nice arrangement and we have a lot of fun. This year we made a profit, so that’s a very good thing. We have lots of very busy days and lots of days where we have time for Charlie to send jokes or to find cheap things for Jim to buy at Heartland America. Jim is the Treasurer for Historic Takoma which provides plenty of work for both of us, but doesn’t actually pay the bills 😉

    One of the nicer things about working with Jim is his family. As a result of the new company I’ve been fortunate to get to know some very special people better than I had a chance to know them before: Ana Maria, Lisa (and Rankine), David (and Regina), Mark (and Kate) and Jim’s Mom and brother as well. I will let you know that it got a little tense during some of the political circus this year as the DiLuigi family are not all the same political party… it was fun to see some of the back and forth banter.

    I’ve tried dating this year, been on several dates with several men … yes, JUST dates. There have been some promising candidates, but I’m not going to settle for less than I deserve, why would I want to. I’m still looking and its been a lot of fun. wish me luck.

    The cats (Q and Mouse) are fine, though Q has some kind of psychological disorder – or i assume so cause the Xrays found nothing ($338 later) to tell why he wont poop in the box.

    This was a high school year, not just the faux high school reunion, I also spent time with Eric and Kelly here in DC, and then Eric and I had a great weekend at the Renaissance Fair and Baltimore this fall. Ted, Eric, Rick, Jeff, Tim… hell a ton of folks are on Facebook, so I know what’s going on in their daily lives.

    I took several trips this year.

    In April Suzanne and I spent a weekend in NY (NJ and NY really) and besides someone breaking into her car (they didn’t steal anything, and the Ipod I had bought her for Christmas was in the Jeep – we think they were looking for the GPS) we had a great time. I saw my first play on Broadway – Young Frankenstein. I heard alot about Paul (Suzanne’s fiance) this weekend, but I didn’t get a chance to meet him until December. Suzanne’s dog Destiny had been very old at this point and Suzanne had her put to sleep, it was sad.

    In May I took a trip for my AA birthday (14) I went to Ft Lauderdale, but didn’t have quite as much fun as I normally do (read what you want into that).

    In June I took my first trip to Wisconsin for Scooters going away party. He graduated high school and took off for basic training. It’s always nice to spend time with Pat and Brenda and I, of course drove down to see Ma, Pa and Rhonda in Galesville and also visited Jim’s daughter in Nashville – that was very enjoyable it was nice to spend time with Lisa, her husband Rankine and their dogs Daisy and Buddy. so of course I missed gay pride in DC again… nothing new there.

    In July I took another trip to WI, this time for my pseudo 20 year reunion. Just a few of us decided to meet up and reminisce. It was a trip to see Rosy, Ted, Eric and Jen again. I hope we do it often. It was very nice and I stayed at Ma and Pa’s for 4 days I think. I got back and the next night went to see George Michael perform at the Verizon Center with Mark and Robert – I don’t much care for concerts so that’ll likely be my last one.

    In August, Pat, Brenda and Anna (Scooters girlfriend) came to DC to visit Scooter after Basic and then make me play tour guide… they had fun torturing me. In August a friend, John Dunn, died, it was sudden, unexpected and sad. He was one of the nicest people I ever met here in DC, he was mourned by many across the area.

    In October Jim and I finalized plans to take a trip to Cancun in November, I invited my good friend Brenda to go with me and then gave her a hard time every other day. One day I called and told her that the passport number she gave me was listed as invalid… she turned the car around and headed home… then I told her I was fibbin… she swore then. lol

    So of course the day my Pa died in November (15th) I called her as she was about to board the commuter plane to come to DC for the trip to Cancun and at first she didn’t believe me … don’t cry wolf.

    My Pa dying was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to live through. I cried like I had never cried before and I still miss him. I hope that I will always miss him. I get teary and sad off an on since I found out. I don’t really want to talk about it here… again… I miss my Pa. I am trying to be a better son, trying to be a better brother by staying more in touch with Ma and Rhonda… and as a result I’m trying to be a healthier person also. I had so much support from friends when this happened, and I am so very grateful that they were there and I hope I can be there for them if a similar situation occurs.

    In December I spent 5 days for my birthday in San Diego, exploring, playing tourist and relaxing. It was the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to go back.

    The weekend before Christmas I went to Suzanne’s, met her fiance Paul and her new dog Farley. We had a lovely visit.

    That was my year, it went by entirely too fast, but overall it was a good year. The people (salads and dogs) that have moved on this year made me into the person I am today – which is a good thing.

    If you want to know full on details about anything that was written above, try looking at my blog: http://mrjamezq.blogspot.com almost everything that happened this year to me was documented.

    I hope you all have a lovely year and I hope that I may get to share just a tiny fraction of yours with you.

    love

    jamez

  • VA Beach Visit

    This weekend I returned to Virginia Beach to visit Suzanne, meet her fiance (Paul), and her new dog (Farley). I took the long way there – Jim and I drove up to New Jersey to get his mother and brother for their holiday weekend, and then dropped me off just in time at the BWI airport. This was my first visit back to the Virginia Beach area since I moved back to DC in the summer of 2006.

    When I arrived in Norfolk Suzanne and Farley were there to greet me, it was nice to meet the dog I’ve heard so much about, he’s an adorable English Bulldog. He was enamored with me immediately, proceeded to make love to my leg in the car on the way to Suzanne’s house. That was the most action I’d seen in a while.

    When we arrived at the house the music was blasting and Paul was upstairs finishing getting ready for dinner. When he came downstairs I saw that he is one of those individuals that doesn’t photograph well: he’s cuter than he looks in the pictures Suzanne has shared with me in the past.

    We headed off to dinner at a mexican restaurant where Suzanne and I used to eat pretty regularly. We were joined by Rodney (an friend from the rooms), his new girlfriend (who’s name I can’t recall) and one of Suzannes sponsee – Jennifer B I think. Dinner was nice, lots of conversation and laughter. Then Suzanne, Paul and I headed to a meeting – Paul’s not an alcoholic, but he plays with them in the Navy – the meeting was open so he was free to attend. It was a good meeting on step 8 and I’m glad we were there.

    Saturday morning when S&P went off to try to kill themselves in a body step class (Suzanne is the instructor) I watched cartoons and tried to fend off Farley’s advances, he’s a very insistent lover. When S&P returned we went off to have a quick lunch and then… shopping at the mall. The shopping wasn’t as bad as I feared, not too crowded so maybe there is something to this recession thing.

    Saturday evening we had dinner at Carrabba’s cause I love their spicy chicken soup, and then headed out to see Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, we laughed alot and I grabbed a new tag line for the holiday’s:

    You can’t spell families without lies.

    Sunday was mostly uneventful, I said farewell to Farley, Suzanne and I got manicures and then I came home.

    It was a nice, relaxing weekend and I’m glad I had the chance to meet Paul and Farley.

  • Breakfast and a Beacon of Overpriced Eggs

    This past Sunday we went to the Beacon Bar and Restaurant in our quest to find the elusive good breakfast place.

    We were seated immediately (it was 8:15 so no big surprise there) and asked almost immediately what we wanted to drink. The coffee (which came in a pot all for me) and the tea arrived fairly quickly.

    We ordered our breakfast fairly quickly as well, Mark ordered eggs benedict, Robert ordered the French Toast and I ordered 2 eggs over easy. Both my meal and Roberts came with sausage, but they appeared to be two different types of sausage, mine was not bad and I’m not sure what Robert thought of his.

    The table was large enough for us to read our morning papers, it was not overly noisy nor were we parked next to anyone (especially anyone reeking of cigarettes).

    Robert didn’t particularly care for his French Toast, I didn’t particularly care for my potatoes. I found the prices to be a bit much ($4 for a cup of coffee).

    With improved food and a little cheaper prices it might have made the cut. We may return to the Beacon, but not this week.

  • Hunt for Breakfast Continues

    The second week of our quest it was just me and Mark, Robert had had oral surgery and wasn’t up for solid foods at that point. I had suggested the week before that we go to the Diner, Mark thought that was a good idea so when he showed up on Sunday we headed that way. When we reached 18th street he headed left and I said “No, it’s to the right here”, seems we both meant different diners.

    The one Mark was thinking of was actually not open so we headed down to Dupont Circle to eat at Kramerbooks. We stopped at the Grille to look at their menu before taking our seats in Kramerbooks. We knew the waiter so it was a nice sign. We sat outside, it was damp out and our table was rickety.

    The food was not bad, but I think overall Kramerbooks lacked the ambiance that we’re used to and the table wasn’t very conductive to reading the newspaper.

    The next week Robert was better and we headed up to the Diner that I thought of had a minimum 30 minute wait for a table of three and the line outside leading into the place had several children that looked like they might scream frequently (to be fair, I think most children look that way).

    So we headed to the Grille on Dupont Circle. We all three ordered the buffett when the waitress finally came to talk to us. I found the Grille to be a bit expensive for what we got and the service was less than what we are hoping for. It may be a different story if we were to order something other than the buffett, but I don’t know… I had to motion for waitstaff to take our check 3 times before one of them actually did more than nod at me.

  • John D

    I found out this afternoon that my friend John D passed away suddenly. John is around my age… was, I need to think in was which is hard… which isn’t that old and the details of why he was found slumped over in his chair this morning are still sketchy. We don’t know what caused this tragedy to happen, and it isn’t what important anyway.

    I’ve always liked John (I keep back spacing in here to change tense and I don’t want to do that so I’m not going to), and not just because he was so very ruggedly handsome. In meetings his sarcastic wit, his spiritual fitness and his compassion always manage to touch me right where I need to be touched. He loves AA and is the finest example of the Big Book you’re likely to see.

    Maybe it’s because he’s from the midwest, maybe that’s why I’ve always felt a connection. But maybe, it was his big heart that reached out to everyone he knew and just pulled them in.

    I’m going to miss you John, I’m sure a million other people will as well. I hear they have meetings up there, save a seat for me.

  • The Cheesehead Invasion

    I just had friends in town visiting, my best friend Pat, his wife Brenda (who thinks her name is Helen – long story), and their sons girlfriend Anna. They were on he east coast to attend their son’s graduation from Army Boot Camp, down in Fort Jackson. Then they drove up here to spend time with me.

    These people are family – not the blood kind, the good kind – so I go out of my way to make sure they have a good time. When they came to visit seven years ago I missed all but the first 5 minutes of the Gay Pride parade as they timed it just that badly… 😉 This visit I took three days off of work and arranged for them to stay in a decent hotel. You make certain sacrifices for family and it never seems to be a burden.

    Even though they saw most of it seven years ago, we again did all the monuments on the Mall and a few more sites that threatened to grind my feet into stubs. We went to the Spy Museum (which I paid a little extra for and can’t recommend as really worth it), the Holocaust Museum and the Zoo all of which were fun. I even put up with Brenda thinking she could speak to the seals and the birds at the zoo, though I did on occasion shout out “No, Dory, you can’t speak whale.” which got a few chuckles.

    When they arrive I let them know the rules of Washington right away. I tell them they are very simple and if they break them I will lock them in the hotel for the rest of the trip.

    The Rules:
    1. Stand on the right, walk on the left
    (I think if more people told tourists this there would be less congestion in our fair city)
    2. Don’t give money or talk to the homeless.
    and
    3. Have fun

    Now, having had them come visit and only break rules here and there – a couple of occasions where they stood on the wrong side of the escalator and once where Brenda bought chocolate from some guy who then turned around and entered the liquor store (lick her?!? I don’t even know her). I realized how different life here is from back home, and i wonder if I should be afraid of what I’ve become, scared that they haven’t changed or concerned that there is that much of a difference in society to notice the changes at all.

    See, Brenda came out of the CVS, chatting away, during rush hour holding two 20 dollar bills in her hand, and gesturing this way and that – I don’t think it helped that she was wearing a fanny pack and had that sunburnt tourist glow. And, just the day before Anna had sat on the sidewalk outside, a wad of crumpled up bills of various denominations sitting there while she counted them… It was one of two times that I almost had a heart attack during the visit. They also like to talk to complete strangers, which I suppose should be a perfectly normal activity, but for me still raises my hackles and puts me on the defensive.

    During my recent trip to WI (where most of my chosen family is from) I got odd looks when I locked the car door, or wanted to shut the front door of the house when we were all leaving. See, it’s safe at home. You could probably walk down main street every day counting 20 dollar bills in a little stack and not have to worry about anyone bothering you or losing a single bill, unless the wind picked up.

    So, I wonder again – have I changed that much since I got here almost ten years ago now? Yep, in my first few months here I gave money to the guy on the corner that needed money for baby diapers… I was appalled at the lack of human compassion as people just walked past and handed him a $5 (at the time I wasn’t making very much myself, but felt sorry for that kid). And an hour later, I walked by him and his story was that he needed gas to get his pregnant wife to the hospital – he didn’t remember me from earlier. I think that was where I started to get jaded and not believe in the people here.

    Have I changed that much from the very small town boy to the big city man? Maybe. Have I lost all my values or beliefs? No. I will still step into a fight to save someone, I don’t automatically disbelieve politicians, but I do second guess them. And I sometimes even give some money to a homeless person on the street.. Sometimes you have to do the next right thing, no matter what.

  • Tour Guide

    My best friend Pat, his wife Brenda (though she likes to be called Helen for some unknown reason) and their son’s girlfriend Ana are on the east coast this week. They arrived on Wednesday to see Scooter (their son) graduate from Basic Training down in NC somewhere. They are spending three days in DC and I get to be tour guide.

    Most of the stuff we’re headed off to see I’ve already seen, and seven years ago, I saw it with them when they were here last.

    I’m not a tour type guy, it’s never been one of the things on my list when I’ve come into a new city. I did a Banana Factory tour once, one word: DISASTER. When my parents came to visit in ’05 they wanted to do a tour bus, they loved it… but it wasn’t for me really.

    When I head off to San Diego for my first time in December, I don’t think riding on a tour bus would do it for me; I want to see the real city and see what’s really there to see.

  • The 20 Year Dinner

    Wow, it was nice to see the old friends who made it. I had a great time. Rosy, Eric, Ted, and Mark all made it. Rich and Brad had things come up that didn’t allow them to come. It was a nice dinner, filled with old stories, old friends and good food.

    I really hope we have a chance to do this again next year and every year there after.

  • My First Trip to Nashville

    Note that I mention “first” as I plan to go back.

    We left from BWI bright and early on Southwest (my first time on Southwest also, was fine) and landed in Nashville around 8:25 or so. Lisa took us to breakfast at the Pancake Pantry (a must visit for breakfast lines around the block to get in and well worth it).

    We then walked around a park … not that I remember the name of the park, but it was pretty and a nice walk. There was also a arts and crafts type thing there that we browsed for a while.

    Lisa and Rankine’s house is beautiful, and I loved meeting their dogs (Daisy and Buddy) who also apparently loved me (tons of kisses from dogs – don’t tell my cats). We hung out for a bit, unpacked and freshened up.

    For dinner we headed to a local restaurant and Ray Stevens (Country Music comedian/star) came in after us that was kind of neat.

    Then it was off to downtown Nashville, we went to the famous bars behind the old Grand Old Opry (I hear there is a Grand NEW Opry, but I don’t think anyone pointed it out to me.

    Then it was off the the Bluebird Cafe for song writers night, Leeroy Parnel was there and some other people… very cool.

    work is in the way right now… I’ll write more later

  • Destiny – on the Happy Road

    I guess it was almost 14 years ago that I first met her. Such a happy girl, full of spunk and a tongue that just wouldn’t stop – Not like that… Destiny Rose, a black and white Shih tzu, who had a serious tongue fixation. She was Suzanne’s dog, her best friend for 14 years. Suzanne had to have her put to sleep recently, which I know was a hard decision to come to. Destiny had gotten pretty old, was blind and deaf and had started to growl at anyone who came near her, even Suzanne.

    Looking back, I will always remember the sweet puppy that licked me non-stop, licked anyone non-stop and always wanted to be with her Momma. She was more than a dog to Suzanne’s family, more than a dog to me too, she was an essential part of every day life.

    I had the opportunity on numerous occasions to dog sit for Suzanne. And let me tell you, Destiny knew just how to manipulate me. She was a master con artist when it came to treats, and she always knew just when you were about to fall into a deep sleep (she’d bark right then). If her Momma were there it wouldn’t have been that way, she almost always listened to her Momma.
    (See this old post for a fine example of her conniving: http://mrjamezq.blogspot.com/2006/02/why-i-hate-destiny.html )

    When I was a young boy, attending Sunday School at a southern Baptist church, I recall the teacher telling me that animals don’t have a soul and wouldn’t go to heaven. Let me assure you, Destiny proved her wrong, she had more soul, more heart, more everything than you could possibly imagine.

    Rest in Peace Destiny.