Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Family

  • VA Beach Visit

    This weekend I returned to Virginia Beach to visit Suzanne, meet her fiance (Paul), and her new dog (Farley). I took the long way there – Jim and I drove up to New Jersey to get his mother and brother for their holiday weekend, and then dropped me off just in time at the BWI airport. This was my first visit back to the Virginia Beach area since I moved back to DC in the summer of 2006.

    When I arrived in Norfolk Suzanne and Farley were there to greet me, it was nice to meet the dog I’ve heard so much about, he’s an adorable English Bulldog. He was enamored with me immediately, proceeded to make love to my leg in the car on the way to Suzanne’s house. That was the most action I’d seen in a while.

    When we arrived at the house the music was blasting and Paul was upstairs finishing getting ready for dinner. When he came downstairs I saw that he is one of those individuals that doesn’t photograph well: he’s cuter than he looks in the pictures Suzanne has shared with me in the past.

    We headed off to dinner at a mexican restaurant where Suzanne and I used to eat pretty regularly. We were joined by Rodney (an friend from the rooms), his new girlfriend (who’s name I can’t recall) and one of Suzannes sponsee – Jennifer B I think. Dinner was nice, lots of conversation and laughter. Then Suzanne, Paul and I headed to a meeting – Paul’s not an alcoholic, but he plays with them in the Navy – the meeting was open so he was free to attend. It was a good meeting on step 8 and I’m glad we were there.

    Saturday morning when S&P went off to try to kill themselves in a body step class (Suzanne is the instructor) I watched cartoons and tried to fend off Farley’s advances, he’s a very insistent lover. When S&P returned we went off to have a quick lunch and then… shopping at the mall. The shopping wasn’t as bad as I feared, not too crowded so maybe there is something to this recession thing.

    Saturday evening we had dinner at Carrabba’s cause I love their spicy chicken soup, and then headed out to see Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, we laughed alot and I grabbed a new tag line for the holiday’s:

    You can’t spell families without lies.

    Sunday was mostly uneventful, I said farewell to Farley, Suzanne and I got manicures and then I came home.

    It was a nice, relaxing weekend and I’m glad I had the chance to meet Paul and Farley.

  • Grateful

    I cried about my Pa again, yesterday, I wonder how long this will go on. It wasn’t the hearth aching bawling cry, just some random thought of him popped into my head and I cried a little bit. I am grateful that I had someone that I miss this much.

    I know that I’ll lose more people that mean something to me in the future, but I really wish there was a way I didn’t have to. And I finally realized why its important to take care of yourself physically, you don’t want those people to have to go through that pain until they absolutely have to.

    I received my cholesterol test results this morning via email, significant improvement since I started the simvastatin, so we’ll probably stay on it… its dropped by over 100 points, which is good I think (I see the doctor on Tuesday).

    ok, just rambling, coffee is ready now, so more later.

  • Ronald Peter Paul Prudlick – My Pa


    Pa Kent, Superman’s adoptive father, has died numerous times over the 75 years hes been around. Always Clark/Superman and his Ma manage to get by and remember Pa for all the lessons he taught them.

    My Pa was 69 the day that he died. Earlier that week he had had his teeth cleaned, gotten a haircut, a massage and a colonoscopy. He had had his normal Friday night dinner out with my Ma, almost 48 years of dinner out every Friday night.

    He dated my 16 year old Ma when he was 19 years old, back then it wasn’t such a big deal I guess. In his wallet was a picture of her from when she was 17 years old, on the back it said: my forever love. He also had photos of his kids from the day they were born, all beaten and worn, but cherished and loved. Ma said a few years ago when they bought him a new wallet she told him to toss them out, but he refused. Those things mattered most.

    He had his faults, he was no saint, but he was truly the best father I ever had. He came to my concerts, my plays – sure Ma may have dragged him there, but he was there each and every time I looked for him in the audience. He was at my graduation, picked me up from a hospital once, took me to treatment once… he was my Pa.

    I always got a hug when I’d come home and when I’d leave. I didn’t even initiate it, it was him.

    At the church service we heard lots of funny stories about my Pa. People laughed and people cried. He was a character, and he gave me character. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without his example leading the way. I’ll miss him.

  • My Pa

    I was at an AA meeting yesterday, Saturday, which is odd for me… but I was scheduled to be on a plane to Cancun today so I wanted to be sure to hit a meeting. I had left my Blackberry on vibrate as the person I was taking to Cancun had lots of questions and I wanted to be available to her. The meeting had just started, the lead was sharing his experience, strength and hope and I truly don’t remember his name or anything… but my phone vibrated and I looked at the Caller ID. It wasn’t a 715 area code which would have been my friend that was to go to Cancun with me, but a 608 area code, which meant family.

    Most of you know about my family, this is the good family, the ones that were my foster parents and actually cared for me… i’m crying.

    I stepped out of the meeting and checked my voice mail, it was my nephew Michael, the message simply said: call Grandma right away. I called back and my nephew Cory answered the phone and said: PaPa died this morning. I said ok, I’ll call you back, and hung up. The day was filled with me doing odd things like that. I called right back and asked when the service was and if Ma wanted to talk to me. Ma didn’t, and he said the service would be Tuesday or Wednesday. that was the end of the call.

    A few weeks back my Pa told my Ma that he had been having BMs filled with blood for the last two weeks… men are stupid that’s why… and she took him immediately to the hospital where the performed a colonoscopy and found nothing, the next day they performed another (poor guy) and found a lesion which they cauterized (you medically inclined folks always want to ask me relevant questions here, but I don’t know relevant answers so just clip your toenails and read the rest of the story already… geez). Then Friday night I had called Ma, which I try to do regularly, and she told me they had done another colonoscopy and found some pollops (spelling?) which they sent off to be tested. Ma expected results to come in about 2 weeks. Because My Pa had been bleeding where the sun don’t shine, they took him off his Coumadin … that is what we think killed him, they are fairly certain he had another clot (He had had one a few years ago).

    I motioned for Darren, poor guy, to come step out of the meeting. He pointed at himself and mouthed: ME? and I nodded. Darren came out and I tried to explain to him that I wasn’t leaving the meeting due to a bad lead or anything, just my Pa had died and I had to go. (I had been explaning to Darren earlier that day why I left early the week before, which was a psycho crazy person leading the meeting and I managed to hold onto my judgmental abilities… and hopefully always will). Darren, was a godsend, he escorted me outside, comforted me and wanted to walk me all the way home.

    I was having moments where I wanted to just burst into tears and I had calls to make and I felt bad for having calls to make when he was right there trying to comfort me and It was a mess… change that, I was a mess. I called my Cancun guest, Brenda, as she was about to board a plane for DC and I didn’t want her to come if she didn’t want to come if I wasn’t going to be able to go. I told her to call the airline and see if she can cancel the trip. I called my business partner, Jim, and told him and we discussed me calling the travel agency and getting refunds or vouchers. I called Suzanne, Gary, Mark and Robert who were all not at their phones, and I was so mad at them for not being right there in the street to hug me… I know that’s illogical, I know that was near impossible, but I just needed them. I’m crying again.

    I convinced Darren that I would be ok and I just needed to be alone. I then proceeded to walk the rest of the way up 17th street and then 16th street, crying every other block or so. I couldn’t see, I was embarassed to be crying this much. Im a silly queen with midwest macho sensibilities.

    At home the people at Orbitz were very accomodating and helpful, the operator was very thoughtful. She asked me for our record locator number and inbetween fits of crying I found it for her, then I asked her if she could hold on so I could take out my contacts, I was having difficulties reading with them and the tears were not helpful. I went to my bathroom and removed my contacts, put them in their little container and came back. The operator asked me another question and I couldn’t see the words at all, it took me like three minutes to realize that I forgot to put my glasses on.

    I called US Airways to attempt to get a flight, but they had no bereavement rates and the earliest they could get me to MSP was 11:30 p.m. So I called NWA, and the people were wonderful. The operator answered the phone and inbetween more fits of crying I tried to tell her what I needed, but just couldn’t stop crying. She stepped up to the plate and said, “OK, Sir, I’m going to ask the questions now, You only have to answer with one word, take your time, lets get you home.” She was great, and a comfort at that time. (I’ll send them an email later).

    I had no idea I was capable of crying as hard as I did, it just wouldn’t stop coming.

    Let me tell you, cats are not “comforting animals” they had no idea what that noise was that I was making and were mostly scarred there was no rubbing up against me or purring extra loudly, they just wanted me to be quiet… damn cats.They didn’t like the suitcase, they do understand what that means.

    Jim and Ana wanted to come and take me to the airport, and they needed some of the paperwork for the trip which I had. So they were on their way. I took calls from Pat and Brenda, sent some posts to Facebook and some other regular sites that I regulary frequent and then started to get notes of comfort from the networked world. I called lots of people I guess, but I don’t really remember, I think I talked to Vera for a while.

    My roommate, Gary came home, and that was nice… I realize now that I didn’t hug him like I had wanted to, I don’t know why. As I said I was really off kilter. He of course was concerned that I was going to be ok, and wanted to be sure I had my flight and everything else I needed. Jim and Ana arrived and I gave them what they needed and then spent time looking for a DVD for them to watch, more odd behavior.

    Suzanne called while I was in the car with Jim and Ana, she sounded like she was crying, but I couldn’t talk to her, I didn’t want to cry anymore. I promised I would call her back. Yes, I know how weird I am. Jim and Ana got me to the airport with plenty of time to spare, and offered to sit in there with me, but I just wanted to be alone again. So they were off.

    In the airport, in front of me were perhaps 25 WWII vets, most in wheelchairs, each with an “assistant” … this is in the security line. Most of them had pacemakers and such, and … well, it was just chaos. Then after security, NWA kept announcing the WWII vets they had there and how honored they were to have them on their planes, everyone was clapping, I was in tears. People kept looking at me, but I couldn’t stop crying again.

    Suzanne and I talked on the phone. I got a hold of Mark and Robert, a friend of Roberts had died and they were at a service in PA, my condolences Robert.

    I had a fairly uneventful flight, I realized that if I watched TV shows on my IPOD I was distracted and wouldn’t cry, which was my goal at this point, I didn’t want to cry on the plane. So I’m watching Season 2 of 24, terrorists, government agents, should be tear proof… but then there is a little father/son side story and I had to turn it off. I did cry a little on the plane, and I cried a little in the car ride from MSP to Chippewa, (Pat and Brenda picked me up) but not that anyone noticed. It wasn’t the heaving, sobbing kind of crying, just some tears streaming down my face.

    Today I’ll drive down to Galesville and see what I can do, hug my Ma, my sister and brother and mourn with my family. I think I’ll likely pray alot to.

  • R.I.P. Chuck Komperud

    My sisters ex-husband died yesterday, his kidneys and liver finally failed. Chuck was a practicing alcoholic and a living example of how horrible life can get if you let alcohol ravage your life and your body.

    Reports over the years have shown him rarely sober, always a yellow tint to his skin and a distended liver. His disposition was never a nice one, even to the two sons he raised.

    It’s been almost 20 years since I’ve even seen this guy, about 10 years since my sister and he divorced and she sobered up. The way they drank its a wonder he lived 10 years.

    I sincerely hope he finds in death what he lacked in life: Peace

  • The Cheesehead Invasion

    I just had friends in town visiting, my best friend Pat, his wife Brenda (who thinks her name is Helen – long story), and their sons girlfriend Anna. They were on he east coast to attend their son’s graduation from Army Boot Camp, down in Fort Jackson. Then they drove up here to spend time with me.

    These people are family – not the blood kind, the good kind – so I go out of my way to make sure they have a good time. When they came to visit seven years ago I missed all but the first 5 minutes of the Gay Pride parade as they timed it just that badly… šŸ˜‰ This visit I took three days off of work and arranged for them to stay in a decent hotel. You make certain sacrifices for family and it never seems to be a burden.

    Even though they saw most of it seven years ago, we again did all the monuments on the Mall and a few more sites that threatened to grind my feet into stubs. We went to the Spy Museum (which I paid a little extra for and can’t recommend as really worth it), the Holocaust Museum and the Zoo all of which were fun. I even put up with Brenda thinking she could speak to the seals and the birds at the zoo, though I did on occasion shout out “No, Dory, you can’t speak whale.” which got a few chuckles.

    When they arrive I let them know the rules of Washington right away. I tell them they are very simple and if they break them I will lock them in the hotel for the rest of the trip.

    The Rules:
    1. Stand on the right, walk on the left
    (I think if more people told tourists this there would be less congestion in our fair city)
    2. Don’t give money or talk to the homeless.
    and
    3. Have fun

    Now, having had them come visit and only break rules here and there – a couple of occasions where they stood on the wrong side of the escalator and once where Brenda bought chocolate from some guy who then turned around and entered the liquor store (lick her?!? I don’t even know her). I realized how different life here is from back home, and i wonder if I should be afraid of what I’ve become, scared that they haven’t changed or concerned that there is that much of a difference in society to notice the changes at all.

    See, Brenda came out of the CVS, chatting away, during rush hour holding two 20 dollar bills in her hand, and gesturing this way and that – I don’t think it helped that she was wearing a fanny pack and had that sunburnt tourist glow. And, just the day before Anna had sat on the sidewalk outside, a wad of crumpled up bills of various denominations sitting there while she counted them… It was one of two times that I almost had a heart attack during the visit. They also like to talk to complete strangers, which I suppose should be a perfectly normal activity, but for me still raises my hackles and puts me on the defensive.

    During my recent trip to WI (where most of my chosen family is from) I got odd looks when I locked the car door, or wanted to shut the front door of the house when we were all leaving. See, it’s safe at home. You could probably walk down main street every day counting 20 dollar bills in a little stack and not have to worry about anyone bothering you or losing a single bill, unless the wind picked up.

    So, I wonder again – have I changed that much since I got here almost ten years ago now? Yep, in my first few months here I gave money to the guy on the corner that needed money for baby diapers… I was appalled at the lack of human compassion as people just walked past and handed him a $5 (at the time I wasn’t making very much myself, but felt sorry for that kid). And an hour later, I walked by him and his story was that he needed gas to get his pregnant wife to the hospital – he didn’t remember me from earlier. I think that was where I started to get jaded and not believe in the people here.

    Have I changed that much from the very small town boy to the big city man? Maybe. Have I lost all my values or beliefs? No. I will still step into a fight to save someone, I don’t automatically disbelieve politicians, but I do second guess them. And I sometimes even give some money to a homeless person on the street.. Sometimes you have to do the next right thing, no matter what.

  • Don't Think About Green Beans

    Few weekends ago I traveled to Mohonk Mountain House ( http://www.mohonk.com ) in New Paltz, NY. My best friend Suzanne and I rode up together, she likes to drive sheā€™s …. you know…. American. I do not like to drive, it has never been one of those things that I want to do, which is why I live in Washington, DC and will always live somewhere that personal transportation is optional.

    I should let you know at this point that I was horribly ill, the flu or some nasty cold had taken hold of me. I was full of snot and sneezing, groggy and a bit grumpy. I made do cause I wanted others to have a good time.

    Suzanne and I stopped to eat at one of her favorite restaurants near NYC. All the servers were dressed up in white jump suits, had sideburns and reminded me of Elvis. I hate Elvis. But the food was good (yes, I was stuffed up and couldnā€™t taste anything, Iā€™m being nice.

    When we arrived at the Mountain House, I was about ready to collapse. This place was huge, beautiful and just stunning. The staff were there immediately to take our bags, check us in and make sure all was good. I found my bosses, smiled and nodded and moved on to dream world.

    Sleep did not come easily, I found myself awake on numerous occasions with limited breathing and fits of coughing or sneezing. So rest I did not get.

    Saturday morning, Suzanne and I went off to the breakfast buffet, I still feel like crap, but I’m putting on a good face…. so I think. Then Suzanne and I both had spa treatments scheduled so we headed off to do that. The spa services menu at Mohonk is quite extensive, several which include them inducing you into a ā€œpower napā€. I donā€™t know about you, but paying someone to put me to sleep is not a pleasurable way to spend money. I chose the back revitalizer, a nice back scrub and massage.

    So a woman arrives in the staging area, and calls my name. I think that this is very nice of them to have staff come escort me to my masseuse. She leads me to a room with a tub, tells me to get in. I donā€™t recall this as part of the description of my treatment. I look at her a little confused, she asks me whatā€™s wrong. I say, well, first off I asked for a male masseuse, she says: oh, is that a problem. ā€œI guess notā€ I say and get in the hot tub. The whirlpool tub is actually very nice, hot and scented. She leaves me in there long enough to tenderize all of my organs for harvesting by cannibals. Then she returns to escort me to a room, ā€œdisrobe and lie on your back cover up and then iā€™ll come back inā€. She is the professional, but I am wondering how she plans to do my back if Iā€™m lying on it, but I do as she says. When she re-enters the room she says, ā€œgood, now weā€™re going to start with an exfoliation and then Iā€™m going to lead you into a power napā€. Ding! ā€œNow I know this is the wrong treatment!ā€ I say loudly. Turns out it was, they had screwed up my order and the bath was considered a ā€œbonusā€, even if I didnā€™t like it. Once the treatment started that I was actually supposed to be getting, it was very nice.

    The dinner that night was a mandatory part of the trip for work, jackets required for men. I wore a nice mock turtle neck, some tan pants and looked pretty sharp. Suzanne wore a nice outfit that had shades of purple, mostly I liked her shoes. I might mention at this point that Suzanne is beautiful, she really is…. sheā€™s had a boob job, is very skinny, always has men looking at here butt in department stores… mostly, I like her shoes. One of the people from work, came in with his girlfriend, they were a lovely couple; when he removed his jacket, I saw that his V Neck sweater was on backwards, I mentioned it to him and he ran from the room to change it. Everyone had something to drink, I had a cold glass of water that I dropped two Alka-Seltzer Cold and Flu into. That is the last I remember of the evening.

    Sunday morning, I could actually breathe… which was nice. I slept most of the night and was feeling a little better. Not 100% but better. The breakfast buffet was nice again, I had some pancakes and Suzanne had some fruit. The fruit caused Suzanne to be ā€œgreen beansā€, all the way home…. and she said: ā€˜please donā€™t write about my ā€œgreen beansā€ on your blogā€™ as she rolled down the window. The ā€˜green beansā€™ were all Iā€™ve been able to think of since… So truly this is a story of ā€˜green beansā€™, the first few paragraphs here are to mask my true intentions. Iā€™ve become obsessed with her ā€˜green beansā€™ and the fact that the ā€˜green beansā€™ were not detectable by me… I had a cold!

    It is my understanding everyone had a good time on our excursion, even if they were exposed to ā€˜green beansā€™.

  • Elton John in Concert

    I spent 2 1/2 hours listening to Elton John play oldies and the new stuff in the Hall at Atlantic City. When he first walked onto the stage tears came to my eyes; lets face it this man is a legend in any age bracket.

    The songs he played of yesteryear, were the ones you always expect to hear; From Bennie and the Jets to the Bitch is Back. The Captain and the Kid was the history lesson a look back into his first submissions and travels from days gone by.

    The sound was bad at times, but not as bad as the woman beside me… her swinging arm and alcohol breath were almost too much to take during this brief fest. The song Elton played when she was at her worst was, Someone Saved My Life Tonight and I looked up to heaven to find the light.

    A moment like this I’ll never forget, and I really need to go out and buy Captain Fantastic.

  • Update

    Hi,I’ve probably told you all more than enough, to check my site: http://mrjamezq.blogspot.com/ if you want to know what’s going on with me… well… I haven’t written anything there in a while… so you can claim you did and still don’t know what’s going on.

    I’m temping at the NAHB which is about a 20 minute walk from home. Nice job, nice folks… but only 4 days a week. There are issues there… like the one woman who put together a fax, even made the cover sheet… walked past the fax machine came to my desk and said: “This needs to be faxed to this number (pointing to the number on the cover sheet she made) ASAP.” So, I smile and don’t ask why she’s such a lazy cow.. I get up and fax her two pages. Or the fact that “short-term” means anything from 1 month to 25 years… but I digress.

    I’m also working at Olsson’s Books and Records, in DC. Very laid back. I’m pretty sure there are three people (minimum) that don’t like me… I don’t much like them either. I hate when there are author events and the authors and their fans can’t seem to understand what closing time means… perhaps if they hung out in more bars they would get the concept. Remind me, IF I ever get famous, what I hated about book events.

    Gary and I went bike riding on Monday, was a little hot but nice. I need to exercise more, but the bike seat is broken and I’m saving cash… and DC drivers are nut jobs (no offense to you nut jobs… er DC drivers).

    WHC (Washington Hospital Center) finally called back about the job I intervied for over a month ago… they want me to come in (Monday) and take some tests: Word, Excel, Power Point… no worries. The job is a union job, and I don’t know what that means yet. I would almost rather stay at NAHB if it was 5 days a week.

    I was hoping to go to WI this summer for an AA thing… but it just can’t happen in this financial situation. I’ll have to see what else I could do… but winter is fast approaching there so no promises.

    No men… as there is no time. The cats are a little grumpy due to not getting enough attention, but when I do give it they are content if only for a purr or two.

    I am going to my meeting in Georgetown, and considering getting a sponsor… there are two candidates… don’t hold you breath, I’m very picky.

    On Monday, I’ll be contacting Northern Virginia Community College about classes this fall, I need a minimum of six credits to maintain my financial aid. I hope this shouldn’t be a problem… just have to decide which classes I would like to take.

    I read: To Kill A Mockingbird for the first time, and I must say it was a really good book. Currently I am reading: Hunting in Harlem which has promise.

    OK, its way past my bedtime. I miss most of you (some of you I actually see on occasion)Jamez

  • Refreshing…

    Finally, the air conditioning has been fixed!!! šŸ˜‰

    They came yesterday bright and early (8:30) and set to work on replacing our 25 year old system. It took them all day (they left about 3:30), and they worked mostly through lunch. There was no slacking or being lazy, they worked hard.

    The new outside unit is twice as tall as the old, like a tower. The inside unit is slim, sleek and digital. They even installed a new digital thermostat.

    When we tested the system I could feel the cold air almost immediately, same for when we tested the heat; it got hot mighty quick. I cannot believe how quiet both the inside and outside units are, I barely know they are on at all.