Who Loves You?

Yesterday a more religious “friend” sent me a Facebook message image of “Jesus Loves You”. This “friend” knows that I’m not a fan of the religious – what I call nonsense and I’m not sure why she did that. I’m not very tolerant of that kind of thing. I’m just not – I don’t come […]

Solitude, My Fortress

I don’t like people. Crowds of people. New people. Old people and Young people. Couples, families (not just mine), adults or children alike. Just in general – people I don’t like them. They make me feel uncomfortable, ill at ease. My skin itches and I want to make them stop looking at me, even if […]

Now I'm 46

Another year has come and gone – this one seemed to go by very quickly for me. I had a lot going on, many changes began here and continued. I left Alcoholics Anonymous It was a while in the making. I finally saw the inner workings of the service side of AA, what I assumed […]

Puzzle

For Christmas one year I was given a Hershey’s Kiss 3D puzzle and another puzzle. The Hershey’s Kiss puzzle was little plastic chocolate colored pieces with pegs and holes… it didn’t have many pieces so I solved it quickly and wondered what possessed my mother to buy me a puzzle. It occurred to me that […]

Vegas with Zanne

I used 4 hours of vacation time on Friday so I could drive up to Las Vegas and see Suzanne. It’s nice to get away from the office – weird things going on there. I think I finally figured out what they’re trying to accomplish – doesn’t make a damn bit of sense but I […]

Got Trust?

A few years back a psychologist helped me come to a conclusion on love – it has to be earned. No one gets a default feeling of love just because they are related to you, know you or were nice to you once in passing. I loved the idea of my mother – a woman […]

Damaged Goods

I’ve talked a bit about EMDR therapy and today during therapy I cried… not bawling, just some tears. I can manage to hold back and just let tears fall, if I could stop that I would. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. We focus on the trauma and then either move your eyes or […]

Songs Tied to Memories

In the car today the song New York, New York came on. It’s on my iTunes account as part of a Frank Sinatra greatest hits album. I love Frank, he can really get me singing along with songs. New York, New York though brings up a childhood memory that I can’t let go of. So […]

Random Memories

I cried the first night at the foster home. I had been picked up by the police the Friday before, spent the weekend in a group home and then the day with a social worker before arriving. No tears during all of that but that night in own room of the new foster home I […]

Unity.. no thanks, I have plans

I don’t like people. (I frequently say “hate” which might be a strong word) I’ve said that a million times before and it’s still true. One of my bosses says that too – I tell him he doesn’t because he’s so nice to everyone, but he insists that he does. Probably why I like him […]