Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Family

  • The Spirit of Christmas

    A cold December morning, a car filled with packages, people and pain. So little room that there is a pie between my feet in the back seat. All four of us kids are in the back seat, Dad and Mom sit in the front, the smell of last nights alcohol still seeping through their pores.

    The car travels slowly up Grandpa’s ice covered mile and a half drive, as we approach the house we see the other relatives cars already having arrived. The car comes to a stop and we all start to exit the car, I bend to grab the pie and turn to shut the door. My footing is not secure and I slip precariously on the ice, the pie is lost from my grip and I watch as it falls to the ground as if in slow motion, my hands grasp to catch it just to save this one pie, but I fail.

    “You’ve ruined my Christmas,” my mother wails “can’t you do anything right!” and she turns and walks up the sidewalk, never turning to see the despair in my eyes.

    Happy Phqn X-Mas

  • Turkey Eve

    Happy festivities to all of you, hope you all eat entirely too much and have a wonderful time with your family.

    Try to remember my philosophy:

    “It’s not a real holiday unless someone cries”.

  • DIVORCE

    I’m in a position that is unfamiliar to me, between two people that want a divorce. I know and love both people, and have known them as a couple for about ten years now. There is no violence, adultery, lying, stealing or murder… Just a drifting apart and perhaps a change in ideologies.

    When I was a kid, a divorce could have stopped the beating of my mother a hundred times over. I’m one of the first to suggest divorce when someone has cheated on the other, I understand the dangers of verbal abuse and mean people… But, I don’t understand drifting apart. I don’t understand falling out of love.

    I wonder have they thought of their empty bed? Have they considered meals without that person? Do they think back and reflect on the good as well as the bad times?

    There is no argument right now, but I feel trapped in the middle of things. I feel like the child torn between two parents I love… Damn, I’m a kid all over again.

  • Surprising Questions and Nasty Aroma's

    On my way into a meeting Friday night my best friend called.

    “Want to go to a gay bar?” She asks.

    My straight, married, SOBER, best friend. But, sure why not, lets go check out the local guys.

    This nights events were much better than my last experience at The Garage where the men were the cause of sore eyes. However, besides the fact that they were young and hairless at this bar(except for a few scary looking guys) I ended up smelling of smoke.

    The smoke from the bar clung to everything, it was nasty. The smell was on my hands, on my jacket, everywhere… the cats even retracted in disgust when I arrived home.

    The next day my jacket still reeked of smoke… nasty, nasty habit…. glad I’m rid of it.

  • Number 3029 – Race for the Cure

    First I want to thank everyone (Anonymous, Zelda, Scott, Julie, Hans, Dr. D, Christy & Peter, Erika, Jeri, Julianne, Rashida, Courtney, Brett, Denise, Ms. Elliott, Denise, Diana, Eric, Jen, Ann, Kim, Donna M, Michelle, Chris S, Rita, Harriet, Rachael, Sonia) who contributed to my race we raised $925 which was the most a single person raised at my school, so thank you. Second, I’d like to thank all the extra calls, emails, cookies that came to keep me motivated much appreciated. Third, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month… do self breast exams regularly, get a mammogram (You know who you are)… donate money and by all means wear a pink ribbon.

    Now for the details of the race:

    I didn’t sleep well, thoughts of the race swirled in my head most of the night, and the sound of the coffee pot at 5:25 a.m. came much too soon. I said a few prayers, had a bowl of cereal and paid a sparse amount of attention to the cats before jumping in Randy’s truck and heading off to the beach.

    The beach was filled with people in pink t-shirts. Sponsors had booths set up everywhere (Ford, American Airlines, Kellogg’s, Yoplait…) one of the local radio stations broadcasted live in the center of the booths. I find my schools pick up area and get my number, 3029, on the back of my shirt I pin a pink banner that says: In Memory of Susan Zamer.

    Waiting for the race to begin is an experience that is hard to describe. There is a man wearing a shirt that says “In honor of my Mom, Sherry 1956 – 2005”, a little kid in a stroller whose shirt says “In Celebration of my Mom”. There are t-shirts scattered about that explain how to do a breast self exam, there are pink wrist bands, pink shoelaces, pink, pink, pink…

    The race finally begins and I turn on my MP3 and go. Not even half-way through I want to stop and walk, I see other people walking, I surely could… then I see the guy running ahead of me with the shirt for his Mom “Sherry” and I keep running.

    Water, finally there’s some water… where have these people been, hand out more water for God’s sake…

    I get tired again, I want to walk… I close my eyes and think of Susan and her struggle, did she quit fighting? Did she give up? I tear up, but I keep running.

    I get tired again as we approach a turn, there are people there, I can hear them cheering us on OVER the sound of my music. I tear up, and I keep running.

    I can’t do this, what was I thinking, I have to stop… I think of my Ma surviving and the strength she showed during the whole ordeal. I tear up, and I keep running.

    I finally have to stop; the pain in my stomach is too much… I walk for a half a block, and then take off running again.

    Shouldn’t there be more water, where are you people? Oh, there they are, I can run that far, I need water, I get two small cups of water… I start to slow down, I’m so tired…

    A woman, a survivor, grabs my arm and says “come on, we’re almost there, we can do it”… she inspired me to keep going, she kept pace with me wouldn’t let me slow down kept me going to the end.

    I ran the 5K in 32.24 minutes, and I raised $925.00 thanks to all of you.

  • Breast Cancer Awareness Month

    It’s that time of year when the nation, and me in particular, focus on early detection and prevention of Breast Cancer. See, my Mom is a breast cancer survivor… it truly means the world to me that she is still in this world. This year a former co-worker lost her life, after a long battle, to breast cancer. I don’t want to lose anyone else.

    “This year in America, more than 211,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 43,300 die. One woman in eight either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. In addition, 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 400 will die this year. If detected early, the five-year survival rate exceeds 95%. Mammograms are among the best early detection methods, yet 13 million U.S. women 40 years of age or older have never had a mammogram. Support The National Breast Cancer Foundation today and give the gift of hope to those in need.” – http://www.Nationalbreastcancer.org

    You can’t be too young, you can’t be too old… you can certainly be too stubborn to get a mammogram. A Mammogram, so I’ve been told, is an uncomfortable/painful/cold experience… hmmm… dead or uncomfortable? What was our choice to be? Self breast exams are also very important, know your breasts, make sure you check them regularly… if you notice anything out of the ordinary, get it checked out!

  • Saint Thomas

    I don’t think there is a St Gary, so I had to use his real name: Thomas

    Gary, my ex-roommate, came to visit me and the cats this weekend. His commute down was quite long on Saturday morning, but not so bad on his way back on Sunday. I gave a tour of the area; showing him my route to school, my favorite restaurants, shopping areas and we drove out to the beach.

    Saturday night we ventured out to “The Garage”, a gay bar in the heart of Norfolk’s gay district (Ghent), only to discover later we were there much to early. The sights we saw there were not tremendously appealing.

    Sunday, after a nice breakfast at IHOP, Gary (St Thomas) purchased a ton of groceries for me. He truly is a sweet guy, and I know if I get in a bind I can count on him to help me out.

  • The Kite Runner

    Why I read “The Kite Runner” is an interesting story…

    First, my Ma asked me if I had read it when she was in DC to visit this summer. I said no, but seemed a little interested in the book.
    Secondly, Suzanne’s mom asked me if I had read it, which was one of them motherly things… I think mothers are all in the same guild or something.
    Third, my English Professor walked into class with the book on tape…
    If that’s not God trying to tell me something I don’t know what is.

    So, what did I think of the book…
    Wow, fabulous storytelling. The story is about so many tragic things, and one terribly preventable thing that sticks with the main character throughout the story. I found the book enchanting, such a different view of the world. I don’t want to spoil the story, and I know it’s been out for a while, but if you haven’t read The Kite Runner; your missing out on one of the best stories I’ve read in a good long time.

  • Parent Visit

    Ma and Pa (please notice, just like Clark Kent) and Rhonda and Greg (my sister and her husband) came to visit me in the “big city”.

    I wore them out almost immediately walking about town and through one museum. The truly enjoyed the vegetation, flowers and wildlife… I’m not kidding. My family comes to visit the most powerful city in the world and they truly enjoyed the wildlife more than the memorials… it was cute.

    We did the trolley tour, which is worth EVERY penny ($28 per person). The Holocaust Museum was touching and enjoyed by all. The American History museum was a lot of walking.

    For me it was a pleasure to entertain my family in the city.