Dream Time

I infiltrated the new place and was observing what was going on, there was a rally and it was all propaganda but the people were into it – somehow they discovered I wasn’t a real member and grabbed me – I acted as if there was some mistake but they were having none of it.

I know I was injected with something in my neck and then blackness.

I awoke and remembered what had happened but was foggy. I got up to walk around there was an overhead announcement I heard garbled, but I followed the other people to a large room.

Standing in a back corner trying not to attract attention and my mind felt wobbly. I was noticed anyway, someone pointed a finger at me and tapped his foot as if waiting for me to do something. Another announcement came over the loudspeaker – this time I could understand – he has five minutes to prove the experiment a success – otherwise he’ll be destroyed.

I was shocked – what did I have to do, what experiment?

A lovely woman grabbed me by the arm and ushered me out of the auditorium. She threw me up against a wall and said – here cut it – handing me an apple. I looked around for a knife but didn’t find one. She grabbed the apple back and said – maybe you could use a paper clip… and a paper clip extended out of her finger and she began to cut the apple into slices.

She produced another apple and said – your turn. I looked at my finger and something like a light saber grew out of it and I sliced the apple – in different shapes than she did, but she smiled.

She grabbed me by the arm, pulled me into yet another room with booths, like from a diner. She sat in one pulling me in besides her – act normal, she said.

What the hell is normal I wondered.

Then I saw him, skin tight blue uniform with a red cap flowing behind him. He came and sat across from us – don’t worry Jor-El, he said – we’re all the same – you me and Lara.

The loud speaker blared again that they had found the ship – Superman and Lara exchanged looks and said – let’s go. We headed out into a large outdoor arena and looked up into the sky.

A huge ship was slowly coming down over the stadium – guns and rockets were shooting at it and it slowly broke apart. The voice of Lawrence Fishburne spoke and was somehow heard above all the noise – if ya’ll would have listed to me we wouldn’t have crashed here, damn idiots.

Then the alarm woke me up.


The sick thing keeps holding on and continues to be sick – I wasn’t actually referring to the President but it applies there too.

My cough remains (and it drains me, saps all my energy) and the more I talk the less I can talk – it seems. I folded a load of laundry this weekend and had to take a nap after as I was beat. The only thing that has been alleviated since I started the antibiotic is pain. My throat doesn’t hurt any more and that’s a really nice thing – thank you science.

I’m going to call my doctor this morning and try to see him to see if this is something else or just a virus thing. Hopefully he can get this all sorted out.

Work folks think it’s a nice change from me talking all the time and my friend Vanessa is happy I’m not singing at my desk all day (I’m never sure if she doesn’t like my singing or just finds it odd that someone sings at the job). Continue reading

New Digs

Here are some photos from my new digs. It’s a nice 2 bedroom condo I’m sharing with my friend Anne.

I didn’t going into Anne’s bedroom or bathroom but they are very nice too – quite spacious. We also have a balcony and a small laundry area. we have a space we think will have a dining table and chairs there and we need more artwork in the main rooms. I didn’t want my Superman art to over power the whole condo so that’s in my room… I could put my portrait in the living room, that’d be creepy.

Things seem to be going ok so far.

  • early risers
  • love coffee
  • like men
  • ride bicycles

and likely more than that in common. We might both be (I’m sure I am) tippy toeing around one another to ensure we don’t upset the apple cart too early 🙂

I don’t think we’re doing a house warming party or anything but if we do I’ll let you know.

By the way – friends helped me raise enough money to get my bicycle repaired thanks to all. I’ll post photos when I have it back and am on the safe bike paths again.

Making Capes Happen

Screen Shot 2016-04-21 at 6.52.31 PM

This morning I attended an event for the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Arizona at the end of the event they gave everyone capes and I wore mine all day afterwards. The central theme of the event was heroes. I’m thinking we could start a new trend and make them fashionable again. Who says the only people that can pull off a cape ‘work’ for the church? Blasphemy I say! Blasphemy!


Now just imagine me in a skin tight onesie with all my fatness, I’d have to wear my contacts… but hey – sexy, am I right? Ladies? Ladies? Oh wait, I swing for the other team… never mind.

That’s my friend Katie with me, she’d make a great side kick… I’ll have to think on a good sidekick name for her.. that would be fun.

Back to the event – we heard from real heroes during breakfast – a veteran, a police chief and then the stars of the show – a Mom, her son (a little) and his Big Brother from the program. It was a little emotional and a great story to kind of tie the morning up.

When we returned to the office I wrote a little email for the staff so they’d know what we’d been up to and encouraged them to join up with Big Brothers Big Sisters. I also shared about Donnell and how he made a difference in my life, not a part of Big Brothers Big Sisters but still a pretty nice experience for me. (Donnell & Superman).

At the event they let us know there is a huge waiting list of Little Brothers waiting for someone to come and mentor them. I know a lot of great guys in the valley, not just the ones from AA but work and other avenues… lol that would likely make great mentors for these kids.

81% of former Littles surveyed agree their Big gave them hope & changed their perspective of what they thought possible. (from the BBBS AZ Website)

All those kids waiting for someone to show them hope, strength and compassion.

I know a couple of Big Sisters – Lisa, my ex bosses daughter and my friend is a Big Sister in Central Virginia, she’s pretty amazing anyway but it lets her share that awesomeness with someone else and show them their dreams are a possibility.

This is something akin to sponsorship – you share your experience, strength and hope with someone else and show them a better way. You show up – bring your A game and mostly have fun. At the very least you help a kid… at the most that kid teaches the joys of giving back.

If I ever get my life together a little more, I think I’ll give this a shot. I’ve been given a lot of chances and lead toward proper paths by a lot of others examples (Suzanne, Eric, Gary, Jim, Richard, Flo, Bruce, Ma and Pa…. the list likely goes on for quite a ways… ). If AA taught me anything besides how to stay sober it taught me that I have to give it away to keep it.. so I’ll have to take action and make this happen…

Maybe you should too…Screen Shot 2016-04-21 at 7.18.45 PM

You can go here to volunteer for  Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central AZ: Volunteer

You can find out more about Big Brothers and Big Sisters programs all over the country here: http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm

A Future at DC Entertainment

Saturday mornings as a kid some of my fondest memories include watching Challenge of the Superfriends each week – I was captivated by those and other cartoons including Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, Batman and Robin and others… but the first comic book I ever remember reading was … well probably Archie, my mom loved those… and then Casper, Wendy, Richie Rich… good stuff that I liked as a kid… The first one with real super heroes was a beat up copy of an X-Men book and they were visiting Kazar in the savage land… not even sure what issue that was but I was very interested.

It wasn’t until I was a teen and had a little pocket change that I was able to buy my own comic books and I found some at a little store in Whitehall, WI… back then they were maybe 75 cents a piece and I bought up all the ones I thought I would like. It was right in the middle of Crisis On Infinite Earths in 1985 and I was very lost… there were heroes in these books I’d never heard of before like Blue Beetle, Vigilante, Harbinger, and more… who were these people and what was going on. In Whitehall it was difficult to get back issues and I struggled to figure out what was happening. In the middle of that series Supergirl sacrificed herself to save Superman in a heroic gesture… Superman’s grief in that moment and pages after are what initially drew me to love the guy… Marv Wolfman and George Perez captured a feeling that I had inside me in that book, they transported me from Earth-Prime (that’s the Earth we all live on) to Earth-2 and the antimatter universe.. I was drawn in and loved it… Continue reading

Some Hugs Are Better Than Others

I’m not a hugger… I wonder how many posts have started out that way on my blog? I’ll have to research that some day (anti-hug posts: “My Sponsor Wont Shake My Hand” “Obsess Much?” ). I opted to go to AA over NA because of the hugging that assaulted me at my first NA meeting… it was awful.

Sometimes a hug can be better… special… needed? Continue reading

The Belly Button of Thirst

Contrary to what many may believe I don’t dream about Superman often, but last night I did and it was very odd.

The last son of Krypton and I were traversing through the universe and came to a planet primarily composed of water. I was being carried in Superman’s arms much like Lois Lane and whispered in his ear that we should check this place out. 

We lowered into the atmosphere and were flying around looking at the beauty of this planet – water was almost everywhere and sparkled the light from the sky in great colors – it was amazing. We finally found a species there and Superman lowered me to the ground. Continue reading

My Take on Man of Steel – SPOILERS

I’ve heard a lot of differing opinions on the new Superman movie Man of Steel and wanted to share my thoughts on the movie with you. This post will be full of spoilers and if you’ve not seen it yet don’t bitch to me about things you didn’t know…



Really now, I’m about to talk about the movie…. so this is your last chance!

Here I go…. this time I mean it….


Man of Steel – a review by Jamez

First off, I loved Krypton and everything about it. I found it visually pleasing and loved Russell Crowe as Jor-El and not just because he’s so fucking sexy and that accent makes my knees wobble… he just played the part well and I liked it. We were introduced to the villain really quickly which pleased me. I loved the technology on Krypton, the robots were great.

On Earth we jumped forward and backward in time with Clark and I didn’t mind that at all, I heard some people complain that it was confusing – which baffles me, here he’s young, here he’s old… how hard can this be? I found Clark’s struggles with having his powers growing up to be a great part of the story and how he came to deal with those powers over time was easily explained but I didn’t put certain things together until later.

It was nice to see the parts of Clark that were very human – anger, sadness, confusion, compassion for others form into what is going to make him a great hero one day. Those things are in all of us, even Superman, and sometimes can be a struggle to get through. Pa Kent (Kevin Costner) and Ma Kent (Diane Lane) were cast well – I disagreed with Pa Kent’s decision in the end and not sure that was to character, for me Pa always loved Martha and Clark so much I can’t see him just letting go like that.

I liked how he found the Kryptonian ship in Canada but it puzzled me how he found it there… I know we heard the one story on the radio or TV but he seemed to be heading that way all along. We also were introduced to Lois (Amy Adams) up there as well as Emil Hamilton (Richard Schiff)… I’m not sold on Amy Adams as Lois, but honestly it didn’t really matter to me who it was, that part was minimal in my eyes.

I saw absolutely no need for the Daily Planet sub story, I love Laurence Fishburn, but didn’t feel he added to the story as Perry White.

The things I’ve heard most talked about negatively in the movie were the killing of Zod and the long fight scene.

First, Zod. I had avoided any reviews or spoilers as best I could so I didn’t know this was going to happen. A friend points out that a more experienced Superman would have found a different way to stop Zod and that seems pretty logical to me. When it happened I was really stunned for a moment – Superman doesn’t kill is a mantra that runs through my head when I read Superman stories in comics or see him in the cartoons. But I recall he once did kill, I can’t recall the story very well but I know it bothered him immensely and he took steps to recover from that – what I felt the movie didn’t do well was show the repercussions of taking a life and the toll it can take on someone who has a soul, a heart if you will, as big as Superman. It felt like Zod was dead, Supes screamed and then boom he was making snarky remarks to the military guy. Maybe I’ll see the fall out in the sequel, which would make me pretty happy.

Secondly, the big bad fight at the end. So much destruction, is what I heard, was it really necessary? I don’t know. For me it was appropriate – you have a group of aliens hell bent on terraforming the planet and killing all of us who will stop at nothing to do so. There machines were doing a fairly great job of that on there own. I NEEDED a Superman movie where he actually punched things – I needed the fight to be fast and furious with destruction. Again, a more experienced Superman would have taken the fight out of the city, but he had just put on the cape and boots. I don’t know how long this fight scene was but I don’t really think it was much different than the Avengers end fight scene which had just as much destruction and aliens causing chaos. What I did like about the fight was showing how much destruction had been caused – it’s so easy to read these fights in the comics or see them on the cartoons and see just a superhero being thrown through a wall with no one getting hurt and the building always left standing that realism was good for my experience.

I saw it twice in a two day span – the first time was in 3D which I found to be a waste of money – not enough was done for it to be so. The second time in 2D was just as good.

In my opinion, this is the best Superman movie to date (I don’t say “of all time” because time isn’t over yet). I’m a fan of the Christopher Reeves movies, I loved them back in the day. I think Superman Returns was a nostalgic movie more about an actor that looked like Christopher Reeves than a Superman movie, and that’s sad, there were parts of it that I liked and parts that I didn’t. This movie the parts that I didn’t like were minimal and nit picky… one of the last scenes ins a flash back to young clark on the farm outside of Smallville wearing a cape and acting like Superman… which really couldn’t have happened and bugged me, but I can look past that and see this movie for what it was – the Superman movie i’d been waiting for.




Donnell and Superman

From 2000 – 2005 I worked at Children’s National Medical Center in a few departments that focused on HIV/AIDS. I don’t do hospitals well, I’m squeamish (see this story) but working behind a computer is easy regardless of where the computer is so it wasn’t an issue as long as I didn’t have to look at tubes and blood and stuff… ewww.

One of the nurses I worked with, Christy, had been working with one particular kid since he was born. His name was Donnell and he was born with HIV. Donnell was around 7 years old the first time I met him. He had come up to our floor with the purpose of seeing Christy and peeked his head around the corner of my cubicle shyly and then ran away, he was soon back and played with the Superman toys I had on my desk, but he was very shy. At that time I still had some hair – I know hard to believe – and I was wearing thick framed glasses in a Clark Kent style. Donnell convinced himself that I was really Superman. I think back then he honestly believed it and who was I to deny a kid a dream.

Every time Donnell came to the hospital he would ask his nurse, Ms Campbell, if he could see Superman and I would drop whatever I was doing and spend hours with that little boy. We’d run up and down the hallways and visit strange areas and he’s always ask me when I would take him flying. I… sorry it’s hard to think about. He was always so happy to see me and he became a bright spot in my every day life.

Donnell called me Superman and other people started to call me Superman and that’s why I decided on the Superman tattoo I had done when I turned 10 years sober in 2004. Donnell thought it was pretty cool when I showed it too him and it still is today when I look at it.

He invited me a few years later to his graduation from elementary school (I think) and I was a little wary about going to Anacostia but I did anyway. He ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug that day and it was so cool to see him all dressed up and progressing. I was always asking him about school and trying to encourage him to study and try harder – emphasizing the importance of a good education, even if it was boring.

I usually go to Ft Lauderdale for my birthday in December but the year I didn’t I was in the hospital when Donnell came to the emergency room. I went to spend the day with him while they tried to figure out what was wrong. Turns out he had a brain tumor the size of a small orange in his head and they had to operate. I was with him and his family up until they took him into surgery. It was so scary, I remember being a big teary mess that day too. In spite of my squeamishness I visited him in his room every day until he was released, I even came in on a Saturday.

When I left Childrens I lost touch with Donnell, I would hear once in a while from friends that they had seen him at the hospital, but I myself hadn’t seen him since then. I often wondered how he was doing and if he had gotten into college yet.

Today he suffered a stroke, his mom found him and they resuscitated him twice before letting him go. I hear he had been doing really well on his medications and the future looked bright.

I’ve cried a few times tonight about this, a lot about time lost because I was too busy to stay in touch. A lot because he was such a good kid and he loved so many people with such a big heart.

Mostly today I wish I had been able to fly and give him that one thing – maybe now he can fly. Maybe now he has wings – if you believe that type of thing, and I”m not sure I do – if there is one man who deserves to fly it’s him… I’ll miss you Donnell, thank you for loving me .

Ooooh That Smell

For a while now I’ve had super sensitive sense of smell. I think it’s getting worse… better… more intense maybe is the word I’m looking for here. Sometimes it affects what I’m tasting or maybe it would be easier to say that I can taste things in foods and liquids that others don’t. A few examples are listed below in no particular order.

  • Mildew on towels (fresh from the dryer or clothes line or hanging on the towel rack for however long)
  • My cats litter box is on the second floor of the house, I can smell if she’s used it from anywhere on the first floor or when I first get home
  • friends and strangers have bad breath that I’ve asked others about but they say they didn’t smell anything
  • perfumes and colognes can be detected strongly from a train car length away or a good block if the wind is blowing properly
  • something in my house smells like chicken, I can’t find it and I’m not sure what it is but I have lots of scented candles and odor eater things placed about to make the smell less evident
  • there is a tree near my house that smells horribly like stale beer
  • I can’t walk in the middle of the prepared foods part near the deli of the grocery store the smells of the foods in the buffet part is well, too smelly
  • dogs and cats – just touching them and I can smell them on me for hours after and I LIKE dogs and cats
  • sometimes when I’m sitting or standing next to someone I can detect that they’ve either been wearing the same underwear for a few days or don’t wipe well
  • there are things that I would have never considered to have a smell at all that have a smell
  • feet, gas, fish, body odor – none of these things would I consider to smell good anyway, but they seem to overpower my senses

If that’s not disgusting enough for you, some of the taste things include water or tea where I can taste sewage in them (what does sewage taste like? just like what it smells like) and milk starts to go bad to my tongue a week before the expiration date. I can actually taste when food I’m eating has been touched by something that isn’t on my plate – onions, peppers, fish – or maybe the preparers didn’t wash their hands in-between touching the items.

The smell of things can be so intense that I’ll stop walking down the street to avoid scents coming from someone, or move to entirely different cars on the Metro. At meetings I try to distance myself from smells. If someone comes into a restaurant and their perfume or cologne is too strong my meal can end up tasting like what they are wearing. It’s not every scent, it appears to be just some scents and I’m sure there is a pattern I’m missing somewhere. It sounds crazy.

When I smell something so strongly I often look around wondering why none of the people near me seem to notice and ask others if they can smell it – they say no. If you were Superman or Wolverine you’d go crazy being able to smell the things they can smell hell, I’ve been crazy a long time and I know this is driving me crazier. When I talked to my doctor about this he actually suggested I might be turning into a superhero – sniffing out crime… I like my doctor, he’s funny.

Friends have suggested I might be pregnant as they’ve experienced an enhanced sense of smell then, but the condoms have been intact – I know they are only 99.9% effective, but I’m fairly certain I’m not pregnant.

So after my doctor and I talked he talked to colleagues who didn’t know what this was either and then I had an MRI last week. The results of the MRI were normal or “non specific white matter change in some part of the brain, which is normal and doesn’t explain the smell symptoms” – but it does confirm that I actually have a brain in case you were wondering.

So if I offer you a breath mint or a stick of gum – you should really take it, especially if you want me to keep talking to you. If I don’t want to shower at your house or spend the night – it could be that I don’t like people but really it’s probably that your towels smell mildewy or that you have a pet who’s smells overtake all my other senses.

You might see me breathing out of my mouth a lot – yes I’m a mouth breather. I’ll be a mouth breather when I have to be and apparently I have to be a lot right now.