In early 2020 I applied for a job as an “appointment specialist” not knowing exactly what that meant, just wanting a job that would provide me with health insurance and a paycheck.
I was fortunate enough to be granted an interview and I remember wondering how an interview was going to go as I wanted to wear a mask during what was the height of Covid. When I arrived at my interview I remember thinking it was odd because I didn’t see many masks. I asked about that during the interview and the manager, Daren, said they took proper precautions.
I heard I got the job a few days later and started within two weeks. The first few days were like an intro to the company, everything they could tell us about what they did, how they did it and what was expected of me. I soon found myself working in the call center scheduling appointments for homeowners. I did pretty well and was among the top callers each day. But I was bored. I did give it about 7 months of effort.
A job with a company my friend owned suddenly opened up and I was set to leave. I put in my two weeks notice and was set. But the company wasn’t done with me yet, the director of call center talked to my manager(heard this all afterwards) and said “How do we keep the good ones”.
Soon I was contacted by the director of Inside Sales, he said “We think you’d do well in Inside Sales, please consider giving it a chance. SALES?!?! ick. I flat out told the guy “I don’t like lying and don’t think sales is for me”. He said that it’s not about lying and that he thought I would like it. After discussing with my friend I thought, what the hell, let’s give it a month.
One month went well, It was easy, just making calls talking to customers and getting them to want to buy what we were selling. I soon bought myself 10 or so sales books learning how to sell better and reading as much as I could. Before I knew it, It was December and I had sold over one million in less than a year. And I liked it. I was happy, busy and helping people.
We started with about 7 people in the department, but as the company grew so did the department and before you knew it we had 20, then 30 and finally about 40 reps in our department. We also had a couple of great department heads that helped us grow, instilled in us pride and the departments’ sales also kept growing.
I eventually started to take actions to improve the department, helping the directors and manager with little things. One of my colleagues called me the team cheerleader as I was always trying to keep spirits up and encourage those who were struggling. My manager approached me about becoming a team lead around year 4 and it was about a year later that that came to fruition.
I liked being a lead; helping people, learning more about the business and tracking goals. I listened to my team’s calls, coached them on this or that and was available to help with our boss, who wasn’t available. I liked it quite a lot.
I saw a lot of changes in the company, a lot of people come and go. I made friendships that will likely last a lifetime. I learned valuable skills in the last six years and will take them with me when I go.
This year brought more changes, including my decision to step down from the lead position. The company made changes too and continues to grow and adapt to what it’s going to become.
I had been thinking about leaving for a while, but got serious about it a few months back and started tossing my resume out there to jobs that looked appealing. Soon I had 5 interviews lined up and all of them were jobs I was more than capable of doing. I took evaluations, had virtual interviews, modified my resume and soon I had three offers.
I took my time deciding which direction to go and thought really hard about leaving before making the ultimate decision. I even considered another position within my current company, but it didn’t seem to be for me.
It’s been a good six and a half years. I grew along with the company and I guess we grew apart.
Six and a half years ago, I was just looking for a paycheck and health insurance. I ended up finding a career, making lifelong friends, and learning a few things about myself along the way. Not bad for a job I didn’t even know I wanted.
Last night I listened to a political podcast that asked a question we rarely hear asked honestly. What does this country actually need right now? Not another Trump. Not another Obama. Not recycled promises about fixing healthcare or ending corruption. What we need is a candidate, and a movement, focused on real change to a system that no longer works for most people.
Let’s find candidates and ideas that enact real change.
Mamdani, mayor elect of New York City, ran on a platform of real change and we’ll see if he can make any of these promises a reality. People voted for him because they want the kind of change he’s talking about. Mamdani ran on some important issues that matter to New Yorkers: affordability, fare free city buses, a $30 minimum wage and more. These are things people want – not just left or right leaning people, but real people struggling or just getting by.
I don’t want to hear “it’s too soon” or “we’re not ready for that kind of candidate” I think we’re more than ready to move on from what’s broken. I’m tired of name calling and mud slinging campaigns that lead to more of the same.
Let’s think about what we need for this great country of ours to not just get by, but to become that dream that people always wanted it to be. Let’s list off some things that would make a change.
Term limits on politicians across the spectrum, too much power for too long has let these “leaders” just get fat on the hog. No one politician should be in office for more than one or two terms. Some of these “leaders” have been in office for up to 50 years, that’s too much power and not enough responsibility.
Real government/tax funded healthcare. It’s way past time for the US to join other civilized nations and enact this for our citizens. This is doable, other civilized countries do it. I’d rather pay an extra $38 dollars in taxes for healthcare then the $300 I pay out or my paycheck or pocket. Let’s make it happen.
Let’s be real about the minimum wage. Current federal guidelines are at $7.25 an hour. Honestly this is an insult to people trying to pay rent, buy groceries and live a real life. No one should need to work three jobs just to live a semblance of a life. Corporations can afford it. Small businesses may feel a deeper pinch, but we need this to change. Have our taxes help small businesses overcome.
Close tax loopholes for corporations that are making huge profits from our purchases or service or goods. If they threaten to move or stop selling to us, so be it, this is a land of opportunity, someone will fill that void.
Tax everyone with more money than they need (millionaires, billionaires, trillionaires…) at a higher rate. Let’s get real here, they can afford it. I ran some AI ideas on taxing the richer and it makes sense so this isn’t an unrealistic idea. I’m not saying stop taxing everyone else, just saying tax them a simple, immediate amount.
Quit sending tax dollars to other countries for any reason. These monies weren’t meant for them, taxes are to pay for government programs that actually help the people here, not over there.
Invest in our people, infrastructure and technology. Let’s put our tax dollars to work for us. We do not have a technology problem here, we have a process, incentives and accountability problem. Let’s make everyone more accountable for what they and get rid of incentives or relying on government favors and backroom deals. Work on our own country again.
Get rid of the electoral college. This is a big one. Would require a constitutional amendment. We have the technology, we can do a popular vote. Having states that have a lower population carry so many votes seems crazy. Let’s let the people decide and the majority of people at that.
Legalize marijuana and other recreational drugs nationally. It’s time. Regulate them, tax them, stop incarceration of people that just want to have a little buzz. Forgive sentences of those who are filling up our corrupted prisons and let those people get back into the world. I’m clean and sober and think this is wise, I don’t plan to start using drugs again.
Lastly, and maybe most importantly, let’s keep religion and those who practice it out of politics and policy. We need to move on from the faith of the goat herders and ancients and embrace a world of reality. No more laws based on what the Bible tells you, we have grown as a species evolutionarily, in wisdom, in truth. It is perfectly fine to believe, to have faith, in a higher power – it is not okay to base laws and ethics on all others.
I’m sure there is more. Why wouldn’t there be? We have so much room to improve to grow and overcome our own deficiencies. I want a country I can believe in again, a place people admire that inspires people to be better.
I know there are those of you that will call my ideas childish or foolish, by all means school me. Tell me where I get it wrong or why the current systems are working. But if you do school me I hope you have some ideas that will enact change and change that matters. No more broken promises from politicians and parties…. let’s do something.
I used to chew my fingernails, did for as long as I can remember. Then one day I realized I stopped. No conscious decision was made, I didn’t make it a goal… one day I looked down and my nails were long. When I clip them now sometimes I clip too short and then they look like they used to when I chewed em.
Stopping other things haven’t been as easy for me. It took me two bouts in treatment centers before I found sobriety, and then it was AA that paved the way for me to find a solution that worked. I’ve not had a drink in almost 31 years now and for the most part I don’t think about it at all. Sure when someone has some rum the smell is appealing, but I don’t feel the need to take a drink myself. Avoiding certain situations that might put me in danger of a drink is normal behavior for me. Friends are sometimes concerned about drinking around me but it doesn’t bother me. What does is if they get stupid drunk, stupid drunk is no fun for anyone.
When I quit smoking 20 years ago, I was all set to quit on January 1 – I bought the patch, the lozenge, the gum and a hypnosis tape to listen to. When the 1st came around I quit without any of those things and was just grumpy for a few weeks. To this day I still have dreams about being a closet smoker, it’s weird. I can’t stand the way smokers smell today, can’t imagine being that smelly for as long as I was.
At work I would order a milk shake every day after lunch, got pretty expensive but I did it every day. This year for my New Year’s resolution I quit shakes, that was kind of hard to give up the sugar rush I had every afternoon, but so far I’ve been free of them. It was an easy change to make, but I still get the occasional craving for one after lunch.
I’m sure I have other bad habits that I could attempt to change, but none come to mind right now.
In my bedroom there is a nice sized Superman collection; memorabilia, action figures, statues, paintings and more. On Facebook I saw a queen sized bed set that was Superman, but I felt like that might be too much. One thing I don’t want to quit is my love of Superman.
I’ve been a Superman fan forever. Read a ton of his comic books, seen all the movies, watched all the cartoons. It’s the things he stands for an his goodness that I like so much.
There is also a story – when I was working at Children’s National Medical Center for a grant that served kids that were terminal; one of the patients made his way up to the 6th floor to see his favorite nurse. When he passed my desk he saw one of my Superman figurines and looked to see me, with hair and Clark Kent glasses. That kid became convinced I was Superman.
Whenever Donnell would come for his appointments he would ask to see Superman and I would get to “fly” him to all his doctor visits. People started calling my Superman and it kind of stuck. Donnell was a great kid.
I don’t have the muscles, the spit curl, or the cape – but I try to do as he would do. I help, listen and bring hope. When I think there isn’t anything I can do, I look for something positive to bring. It’s corny, but it works for me.
This summer a new Superman movie is coming out. I’m already planning to take the day off after opening night so I can catch the midnight showing.. What I’ve seen of the new movie looks very good, especially like Krypto and how he’s being portrayed. The actors and actresses all appear to be good fits for the story. James Gunn has a lot of characters slated to be in this one, I hope it isn’t over crowded and too complicated. I also hope the story isn’t rushed. Mr. Gunn has done a great job on other movies so I have high hopes.
If I find another habit that I want to break; whether by self-discovery or someone else pointing it out. I’ll do what I’ve done before and use my super power, of doing the right thing, to make sure I succeed.
Superman inspires me to be a better person. Always has. Hopefully always will.
I want to buy a big gun, carry it with me everywhere; frequent Chick Fil A restaurants and white churches in a rainbow shirt with it slung over my shoulder. If I feel the least bit threatened I’ll pull a Kyle Ritenhouse and just shoot people. America!
I am afraid. I am an unabashed atheist and homo. My country has just re-elected a “man” that is a direct threat to my freedom.
My country, the so called “land of the free” has opted to have a rapist, racist, homophobic, narcissistic pedophile for a second term. A con man who has a playbook written out to destroy our democracy and enact theocratic policies. A tyrant who is planning to deport several million immigrants that came here looking for the American dream – that which has become a nightmare.
The Democratic Party and Independent Party (if there is such a party) need to begin now with plans for the future – did you fuckers learn anything yet? have you grown a pair? Do you have any potential candidates that aren’t approaching 80…. It’s time to stand up and fight back like you have never done before. Don’t let this monster push his agenda through. Learn to play dirty… but also start grooming your candidates for the future. If you can’t fight, if you’re too old or too weak to defend your constituents then get the hell out of the way. Don’t run Kamala again, give us new blood, give us the inspiration and hope we had with Obama.
I’m for a younger generation of leaders, people that still recall the sting of their student loan debt, that remember trying to survive on a minimum wage. Let’s find some common strength in youth and actual values.
I have friends who didn’t vote, or those that didn’t pick anyone for the Presidential part of their ballot. These people either “didn’t know enough about Kamala” or “didn’t think she would be respected”. Did they not know enough about Trump? Did they not see the way the other countries laughed at us his last term, except for Russia, his friends there. These friends may think I’m over-reacting and panicking. I may be.
I may not.
If White Christian Nationalism continues to gain in power it wont be long until they come for me. To silence me, to jail me, to end me. Believe as they believe or suffer the consequences, act as they want you to act and keep your opinions to yourself. You think censorship stops with Jeff Bezos turning off the Washington Post voice? You think their idea of “god” and religion are just going to let you believe the way you want – ha.
Today on Facebook many of my friends turned their profile photos to black. I have many friends and many of them did so. I did so too. I’m mad. I’m serious about the gun thing, at least about getting one. I want to be able to defend myself when they come for me. I’m mad and folks that didn’t vote. I’m mad.
The monster that was elected – a felon, a rapist, a racist, a fascist and more. A man who has insulted every sub class of America and threatened violence upon his enemies, firing squads I mean really. “Oh, he didn’t mean that” Sure Jan, sure. A threat to the promise of America an end to a once beautiful democracy.
Around three months ago I was approached by a friend, he wanted to have dinner. I asked if Indian was okay and he said it was. We met at my favorite Indian restaurant on a Wednesday night and had delicious food. I just thought he wanted to have dinner.
He then started to tell me about the mess he had gotten into – he was using heavy drugs, couldn’t stop and was doing some rather dangerous ones and dealing with some sketchy characters.
I’m pretty open about being clean and sober, talk about it, post about it and celebrate it. So he knew I was someone who might be able to help. I was mostly a drunk when I was using – lots of alcohol and a few drugs when they were available.
He talked about his drugs of choice and what it was like for him. He was concerned with how he was presenting himself and if others had noticed him acting strangely. I was honest with him – yes some people had questioned his behavior and demeanor. He didn’t like that he was obviously showing signs of the drug use. Then he pulled up his sleeves to show me track marks and told me how bad it really was getting.
I have a friend or two in N.A. and I got him hooked up with them and a good meeting and he promised to go. He did reach out to the members and attended a meeting, where he rambled on and on for a few minutes but wasn’t very coherent, I’m told. He wouldn’t go back to the meeting, see he had a history of attending N.A. before and had had this demon to fight in the past, but it had reemerged and was winning this time.
My friend kept on telling me he “knew what to do” just needed help doing it, but he wouldn’t use the only tools I knew to use – meetings, program and fellowship. He continued his downward spiral and again asked me for help.
I talked to him about the Employee Assistants Program (EAP) at work and how we could get some help. That they may be able to find him a facility to detox and get better with help. He was on board and we worked with the bosses, EAP and got him lined up with a treatment center. He was hesitantly on board with treatment, he’d done it before though and had some old ideas that were keeping him from being fully committed I think.
He did a couple weeks in the treatment center and left early. He couldn’t be around those types of people and couldn’t relate to their problems, he was different. One of the things they talk about in A.A. is how thinking your case is different is a way to get yourself killed.
My friend took some common steps that we see in addiction – he did a geographic, thinking if he moved away from the problem it would help. He thought keeping busy with work would help. But he had the dark web and access to anything with the click of a few buttons.
He called me Friday night for some help with a work problem. I paused my game and tried to help him. He told me he was “in Costa Rica for a tattoo”. That’s the last I heard from him.
Today we were told at work that he had died. There were no details released yet but I have a few theories. There were many tears shed.
I left A.A. a few years ago. I haven’t regretted that until today when I was ruing over the steps I had taken to help my friend and if I had done enough. Even wondering if I was just so out of touch with recovery now that I couldn’t reach my friend with a message he would hear.
My friends assure me there wasn’t anything more I could do, that I did the right things and led the way for a solution, a way out.
I am sad and mad about my friend. He was so young and so crazy full of life. I never knew what bullshit would come out of his mouth but I would usually laugh. We had opposing political views but could converse about issues without losing our shit. He had this deep desire to love other people. He loved his toys and his friends.
I’m sorry that he found himself on a dark journey, I know it was hard for him to get out of.
There is hope for the hopeless. Reach out to me, reach out to family or friends or the EAP. You can reach out to A.A. or N.A. or a million other A’s too.
if it is very interesting to use talk to text and preparation for my shoulder surgery which will happen on March 18. I’ve been trying to use just my left arm for the past few hours and it’s a challenge.
I worked in the accessibility field for seven years a few years back. And I always knew about the need for accessibility in websites but never had the need for myself. Using this tool which Apple created for me I can type a whole new web post.
but it’s a challenge because I keep wanting to use my right arm to do things like brushing my teeth or opening a pill bottle or opening a bottle. Period. And even this isn’t typing exactly as I would like it’s a tight but I’m doing the best I can with what I have available.
a friend of mine just reminded me that one of the challenges will be wiping my butt with the other hand now that is probably too much information what is this something that you have to think about. I did recently purchase of the day which is going to help with all of that oh the day b.i.d. ET oh well that didn’t type as well as I would’ve liked it too but I think you catch my drift. And all the controls for the day are on the left right hand side which is another thing that I have to worry about it will I reach over with my left hand to take care of it I don’t know and every time I say but they are types of the day.
and my big concern is a really are getting any work done and playing video games. No I know those two things are vastly different in what it is that I’m trying to do but those are the two things that occupy most of my time. I really like playing video games and I do think there are some accessibility settings in world of warcraft which will allow me to play the game with the left hand. So that I’m not too worried about I even went so far as to purchase a left-handed mouse which will arrive tomorrow that I’m going to practice with here at home and maybe I can get one for work as well.
it’s funny to try and do things that you normally do with both hands are with just your right hand and then try to do them with just your left hand that’s interesting it’s up I struggle for lack of a better word. Like for instance I made my coffee this this evening for tomorrow morning to prepare before the night I prepared in the night to make sure that I have it ready for the morning so I can just push a button and brew the coffee. Opening the fridge to get the filtered water opening the coffee container to get the grounds entering all of that into the machine with just your left hand was entertaining enter.
I do have friends were going to help me and I’m thinking that I’m going to have my my medication is prepared and one of those little pill reminder things settle be easy to just get two rather than having to open the pills each and every day. I’m planning ahead for Lasso little things like that that’ll help me to prepare for when I can’t use my right hand so I’ll be more prepared to get by without it.
I do sleep on my right hand side even if I start on my back on my left hand side I end up on the right hand side so I’m not sure how well I’m gonna be able to do that and if it’s going to interfere with my sleep as well. I’ve been trying to stay on my back but sometimes in the night you just roll over in their yard but I imagine if I’m in pain I’m not gonna be able to do that until wake me up.
navigating the computer has been interesting you I’ve had to learn a lot of new phrases enter commands to get it to do what I wanted to do. But I’m getting the hang of it or so I think.
can you take some things for granted that normal people just do every day edit isn’t until an event like this that you realize how lucky you are. There are people without hands without arms or legs or other disabilities can’t do simple things that we just do every day. It’s nice that Apple and other software companies and such have made tools available so they can participate in computing ark writing or similar activities and I know that there have been good advances as far as prosthetics that allow people to do things that otherwise they could not.
so it’s probably just me whining a little bit here and there about what I’m going to go through and for all I know I may not be as bad as I’m anticipating I am getting a little worried here and there about what’s gonna happen in pain management and mostly getting bored I’m really worried about getting bored.
today at the office I put in for time off for the surgery. And so far I’ve only requested a week off. I’m not sure if it’ll be longer than that or not but I wanted to be prepared just in case I have somebody covering for me to handle all my tasks well no not really some of my tasks which is nice because I was worried about that at all be meeting with some bosses in the next week or two to plan accordingly for some of my other tasks.
physical therapy is currently scheduled for the first week five times that week the second week three times that week and then we’ll see evaluate after that and see what else we need oh I just reread it and it’s three times a week for four weeks and the first two weeks at five times a week that’s a lot and I’m not sure if that means includes the time that I’m going to be doing the work at home because I do plan to do the exercises at home as often as I can without you know hurting myself more. Because I figure the more I do them the sooner I can get back to the office and play video games yet. Priorities people priorities.
anyway I’m not sure how many more possum gonna make about this but I’ll make some post after the surgery to let you know how I’m doing keep you updated on the pain threshold and my progress with physical therapy and movement of the shoulder area. If you get bored with reading I do have some other post you can read back I’ve been doing this for about 15 years she can read some past posts and comment on them and like them and share them I get other people read them that would be nice of you. After that
this post has not been edited or proofread it’s just how I talked it and how the computer interpreted my words
My friend Suzanne recently did some estate planning with her family and I reminded her what I would like done. She suggested maybe I should write it down so it’s known. I suppose that’s a good idea.
First, if a situation were to occur where I was in a vegetative state, a coma or incapable of breathing or living on my own…. I have no desire to live in such a state. I barely had a desire to live at all, so adding any of those to the list would be a no brainer, no thank you. Pull the plug, donate my organs if they can be and let me go.
In the event that I were to perish, hopefully sooner rather than later, below is what I was thinking at this time and for a while now. I believe I’m of sound mind, depression and anxiety, but sound.
AFTER LIFE
When I die, I believe I’m dead… that’s it. I don’t believe in an eternal life where I would either get to spend time romping through the Elysian fields or dancing in the flames of hell. Don’t buy into it. I know there are people that are living for the opportunity to go to heaven where they get to spend eternity with their loved ones…. eternity with people you can’t tolerate for a Thanksgiving. I just don’t see it happening. What version of those people are you going to see – the 98 year old version nor the teenage version, what would it even be like… but I digress.
If I’m wrong… and there is a spirit or soul that sticks around or goes somewhere, I don’t plan on staying near where I lived…. how boring would that be. I would explore other countries or planets and be anywhere but at my body or gravestone. So there is no need to go “talk to me” at a headstone, I wouldn’t be there. And honestly, I don’t want to listen to you talk to me about how much you miss me or what you did today, I’m good, move on.
In the DC Comics Universe there is a character named Death, she’s a Neil Gaiman creation. When each person dies she visits them and tells them it’s time, she says “You get what everyone gets, you got a lifetime” or something like that. She also seems to say that death and after are personal to each person, that they get a say in what is to come (if anything). Well, if that occurs I’ll just choose nothingness, to be gone and my consciousness to be no more, I’ve had more than my share and I don’t need further adventures.
REMAINS
I want to be cremated. Takes up less space and is eco friendlier…. so many cemeteries, so much space used up. I’m not a fan of burial or a tombstone with my name on it. Don’t want people to go to some random graveyard and think some part of me is there, there isn’t.
I wouldn’t mind if my ashes were to become a part of a tree, I think that’s cool and a good use of a decomposing body. The Living Urn is one such site that caters to that kind of thing. I’d prefer a lemon tree, but again, I’m not there so it won’t matter. If that proves ineffective cost wise or logistically then just burn me and do whatever with the ashes you like, won’t matter to me…. Well that’s not true. I have no desire for my remains to be taken to Wisconsin, no thank you… on the off chance that a soul would be bound to the “body” I wouldn’t want to be bound there. In face it would be awful. I can imagine a hell where I’d be trapped in an eternal Wisconsin winter and I just don’t want that.
When my biological father passed they cremated him and gave me a small vial with some of the ashes. If my siblings would want such a thing I guess that’s ok. Unfortunately I do realize part of me would then end up in Wisconsin, but I’m feeling generous.
Suzanne can decide if she wants to do anything with the ashes, Really up to her. She may place me on a shelf next to her dogs and that sounds like a fine place to be.
BELONGINGS
I don’t really own much. I did pay off my Smart car, so there is that, but it’s old and has little value. I consider myself a minimalist… oh not like a crazy person you’d see on TLC or Showtime or something. I just don’t have much. I’ve always done an inventory regularly for things I own – Is this is thing I use? Is this a thing I like? Do I really need to hold on to it? Does it have sentimental value? Is that value dated? lol
The comic book collection I own is quite small now compared to how much I had 10 years ago. So there isn’t much there. I don’t believe there is value in the issues I own, but you could try to sell them. It would be better to donate them for some kids to read. My love for reading started with an old X-Men comic. It was beat up, had no cover and was a dorky story. It was at my great aunt Marion’s house and it was the only thing that helped keep my sanity during the visit there. I don’t remember much of the issue, I know they were in the Savage Land and ran into Kazar and Iceman was more of a snowman than an ice man. Anyway, reading was one of the things I enjoyed in life and if I could pass that love onto other kids then that’d be a good thing.
Digital Library I don’t know if this is something that can be given to anyone, but just in case. I have a little over 4000 songs on iTunes. Garth Brooks is uploaded from Amazon, but other than that they are all from iTunes. If you do the math with each song costing .99 that’s almost $4,000, but of course many of those songs were more than that. There is everything in my library from Boyz II Men, Magg Dylan, Tim McGraw, Josh Groban, Zac Brown Band… just a nice variety. My Apple video library has 329 items… some of those are series so many more than 329 as I collected whole series. Audible – has 151 titles, that’s a lot of listening and a lot of them I listened to over and over… and read too. Speaking of reading, there are 2060 books in my Kindle library, read every one. Comixology (now owned by Amazon) I have 1660 digital comics. I liked the idea of Comixology and loved reading comics that way, but there is something about the feel of a comic in your hand that is better. Just for the record when Amazon bought it they screw it up and it’s less user friendly now. I think that’s it for official digital purchases.
Superman. Well I do have some Superman memorabilia. I don’t think any of it has value other than to me. I didn’t take the best care of it, One of my statues has a cape that has broken off and is just perched upon his shoulders, shame cause I liked that one too. There are glasses, lights, lunchboxes, Funkos, action figures and statues. Posters, a large portrait (a gift from my friend Katelyn), rings… a wide assortment. This is really up to Suzanne to decide what to do with those items. If she wants to dole some of them out to people that want something to remember me by that’s fine. Otherwise they can be sold on Ebay or donated to some charity place. Passing my love of Superman on to a kid would make my day. Makes me think of Donnell and our time together 😦
Notable Items There is a portrait of me that was done by my friend Ron a few years ago, actually there are two I just saw one of me shirtless in a mirror. Suzanne may want to keep it, if not then to whomever. I was at a party for a friend and this guy with a camera started taking photos of me. At first I didn’t think anything of it but after a while it got creepy, so I confronted the guy and he said he was a painter and wanted to paint me, he found me to be desirable and needed to get that out. So he painted me and it was pretty good, check out the link and imagine me 10 years ago lol.
Computer and tech, I own an iMac, iPad, iPhone … I like Ithings lol I’d sell them. I have content on my computer, some writings, some porn, all my photos. Suzanne is my secrete keeper so she has access to my systems if I were to pass away. You can set this up with Apple yourself, was pretty simple.
Art, there are two pieces of art in my room. One is of a guitar player who looks like the Question from DC comics and one is of a puppet with a broken heart. I liked them enough to spend money on them. They’re up for grabs, whatever Suzanne wants to do with em.
I think that’s it… not much like I said.
FINANCIAL
There is a life insurance policy through work, Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have much in savings or in checking for that matter, I lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck like a fool. There is a 401K and Roth through work too, again Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have money to leave anyone, don’t feel bad about that either.
MY FRIENDS
Many people loved me as a friend, as family. I was fortunate. Suzanne and Eric were my best friends, for 30 years or more they’ve always been there and I”m grateful.
I wasn’t the best friend I could have been I suppose. Very selfish with my time and energy and not much for crowds of people or small gatherings. I said “no” to doing something more times than I should have. I have pretended to be sick to get out of some situations.
I stole from some of you, lied to some of you, stepped on your toes, meddled where I shouldn’t have… I could go on and on. I’m human after all and made mistakes. I’ve tried to right many of them and live a better life, but sometimes I’ve made the same mistake twice. I’ve been forgiven, loved anyway and shown better ways.
Many times I made a friend out of someone I didn’t expect, I learned to love those I first wanted to shun, I adapted and adjusted to let those people in.
Thank you for taking the time and energy to get to know me. Thank you for tolerating me, loving me in spite of me and being there.
MY FAMILY
It’s complicated really, I suppose it doesn’t have to be, but it is. I consider myself of two families. One is my biological and one my foster. I got two and that makes me luckier than most.
My biological parents both died in their 50s. I don’t have much positive to say about either of them, they weren’t good examples, good parents or good. There are those who says they did the best they could could, but I don’t that’s true. I didn’t mourn them and don’t miss them.
My foster parents, my Ma and Pa, loved me unconditionally. They taught me to be responsible, independent and dependable. My Pa passed in 2008 and I bawled like a baby, it was hard for me. My Ma insists I come home every year for Christmas and she knows how much I’m not a fan of winter, so I go every year and I enjoy myself. I love my Ma.
I loved my siblings each for different reasons. I have fond memories of times we spent together. Laughter, tears, drama… all a part of it I suppose. Thanks for tolerating me and loving me.
IN CLOSING
I was just doing my taxes after receiving a notice from PayPal that I had a 1099K… which I had no idea what meant. I looked it up and saw it was in reference to some gambling I did on the Super Bowl in 2022. I placed a $100 bet on who would score the first touch down and I won $855, pretty nice… but now it’s going to take a bite out of my refund. That’s life.
My favorite book was The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, it always made me laugh no many how many times I read it. It’s quirky and odd, like me.
I loved listening to music and singing along with all the songs. My memory was always good about remembering lyrics but forgetting important things. I really liked all genres of music – but I think you’ll find the majority of the music in my iTunes library is country.
Work – I was very lucky to have a few great jobs. Some of them didn’t last more than 5 years or so but for a while it was a good job. I’m glad I got to work with Jim, one of the finest human beings on the planet. I’m glad I dipped my toe into the world of insurance. And I’m glad I got to start selling things, I kind of like it.
Thank you to everyone who interacted with me in my life. It was interesting. I am, however, glad to be gone. Did all the things I wanted too, loved all the men I wanted to, spent all the time I could bear with people. Now I’m ready to move on.
For the last few years I’ve traveled up to Maryland to have Thanksgiving with my best friend Eric and his family. This year Eric moved from Maryland to Wisconsin – yes on purpose. I traveled to Wisconsin last month so I didn’t see the need to see Eric again so soon. This year, I stayed home in Virginia Beach.
Previous years Eric’s son-in-law Dan would deep fry the turkey. OMG it was amazing, very juicy and tasty, not sure what he basted it with but it was always very tasty. One year he smoked it – not as good. We’d have mashed potatoes (never enough), green bean casserole, stuffing… the works you know. Then finish it off with some pecan and pumpkin pies. Then we’d watch the football games, fall asleep on the sofa or play with Eric’s grandkids. It was always a nice get away.
This year, I stayed local.
I had a morning doctor appointment, check up on my diabetes. The doctor said improvements in my blood work, but still wanted me to lose 10 pounds and eat healthier to get my A1C down more. He does talk a lot to me – which is good and bad – my appointment was at 8:45 and I didn’t get out until 9:30. So I was late for work.
I missed a meeting at work, didn’t mind, the boss filled me in when I got there. I made my calls, followed up on emails and did my regular duties like I always do. I did have a sale which is nice. Work let us off an hour early on Wednesday so I headed home around 4.
I played World of Warcraft when I arrived at home for a couple hours and Suzanne and Brucifer went off to see the Nutcracker so I watched Fluffy for a bit as well. She’s low maintenance so it’s no biggie.
My best friend Suzanne’s parents live nearby and they hosted us on Thanksgiving. Suzanne, Brucifer, Adam, Eileen (Suzanne’s sister), Paris (Suzanne’s niece), Chip and Judy (her parents) and Paris’s roommate, whose name I can’t recall… and I’ve met her several times.
Chip watched football with me while everything was getting ready. Adam may have watched with us, I can’t recall. Fluffy, the English Bulldog played with her dad Brucifer on the floor while all this went on. The games entertained us while the girls got everything ready.
When they announced dinner was ready – Brucifer was first ini line. I waited until almost everyone had gone as there was a crowd in the kitchen. When it was my turn I loaded up on turkey and mashed potatoes, Just had made a whole bunch of them so there was plenty for me to take extra. They encouraged me to try the ratatouille but after thinking it over I opted not to. I’m sure it was good the others seemed to think so.
We all waited patiently at the table for the last person to arrive, Chip was the last in line which they indicated was unusual. I was pretty hungry at this point so I wanted him to hurry up, but he seemed to take his time. FINALLY he sat down, Judy made a blessing that she was happy to have such a nice group in her home and then we ate. I had seconds and then made me way to the football game in the living room.
After a while, when others were finished eating also, I got up and fixed myself some apple pie with ice cream. Yummy.
I texted friends and family “Happy Thanksgiving” and one of them I texted “Happy Birthday” by mistake, lol. Oh well.
There was a little drama, but nothing to complain about and not one person cried.
We left for home around 5, said our goodbyes and gave hugs. It was a nice holiday.
Later that night we watched the season finale of Andor, which is such a good show. I liked how it played out but I’m sad it had to end… 2024 is when they say the next season will be out and that’s just NOT ok.
I went to bed with a full stomach, or it seemed that way.
A few years back I worked for a small firm and, like always, I was looking to improve processes and make things run better than they currently were.
The whole staff had company Blackberries that got their email and calls, yet they still hand wrote phone messages and had staff stop at the front desk to get them. I thought this was a rather odd way to do things given the available technology.
At the monthly meeting I brought up the notion of sending emails and calls to the folks Blackberries directly so they could respond sooner. You would have thought I asked if we could try communicating telepathicaly or something… they were aghast. (more…)
I’ve been up for a few hours thinking about a revolution.
Thinking about America the broken.
Last night I wrote about acceptance and turning the other cheek so to speak… but even as I finished writing it I thought “what a bunch of pollyanna bullshit”.
Looking back and seeing hate, vitriol and santorum (look it up) win state after state, primary after primary and each and every time it was downplayed (first by the Republicans) as a fluke. A rarity that couldn’t possibly happen again and again. We underestimated the power of .. well, the dark side. The possibility of such an asshole being elected to the seat of President were so absurd we stopped really fighting it.
We, the People, let both sides lie and manipulate us again. We let the Republican’s continue to believe they are “value voters” and the Democrats that they could win against orange skinned hate mongers.
The American Tea Party – a bunch of well off, old, white Christians, and Ben Carson – thought they were leading a revolution. They thought to accomplish this by obstructing the American government with such notable brain trusts as Sarah Palin, Chuck Norris and the aforementioned Dr. Carson. They succeeded in preventing change from happening, preventing growth of the economy, protection of rights and values. They succeeded in protecting the only things that ever mattered to them: their wallets and their white nation (with Ben along, for show). [disclaimer: I am an old, white man] (more…)
