Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Tag: change

  • Twist Tied Past

    Tonight at dinner I bit into my salad and found an unexpected treat. A twist tie from a bread bag or something had somehow ended up in my salad. I took it out and showed it to my waiter who then gave me the meal free, which was nice but not necessary, these things happen – I did continue to eat the salad, hell I love that thing. What was interesting was a memory got tugged out of the nether and put back into conscious thought of a time that had happened to me once before.

    *activate wavy screen effect to simulate a warp back through the time-stream to see the story Jamez is talking about here*

    Probably twenty years ago now I used to stop at the Kwik Trip on Main Street in Whitehall after spending countless hours at Dave’s Bar. Fortunately for me at the time not only was Kwik Trip open 24 hours a day, they cooked food… which was nice if you’re a drunk on a winter night in WI with no home of your own. On many a night I would stop there after running out of drinking money, or to pick up a cheap case of beer to take back where ever I was staying – usually just had enough for a lottery ticket or a burger.

    (A completely different story at this quick trip I had one dollar left in my wallet – was out of booze and cigarettes and I decided to purchase a lottery ticket, that’s the logical thing to do in that situation if you’re a drunk. I scratched away and got three TV’s that means I won $100 and a chance to be on the Wisconsin Lottery TV show in Milwaukee which I think netted me a little over $400 – not that that was helping me get beer or cigarettes at this point, the $100 wasn’t instant and I was more pissed off than I was excited. On another note, recently that Kwik Trip sold two 1 Million Dollar lottery tickets, that would have likely pissed me off too as it wasn’t instant booze).

    So I was pretty drunk the night I stumbled into the Kwik Trip, someone had probably pissed me off as I can remember being a little mad just getting there. Where were my friends? Hell I don’t know either passed out or still at Dave’s drinking away. I ordered my usual burger at the counter and waited at one of the tables until they brought it out to me. I was likely talking to myself, likely reeked of beer and might have smiled at the lady who brought it, but that might have taken too much effort.

    I was eating away at the burger and fries and washing them down with a Dr. Pepper most likely – you can’t drink beer in the Kwik Trip, silly rules… then it happened, I bit down into the burger and bit something hard. I pulled it out and sure enough it was a twisty like the ones used for bread packages and such… My alcoholic mind did something like this:

    Wow, I could have died. 

    I wonder if someone is trying to kill me, does that girl know me?

    Where am I? I thought I was at Dave’s? 

    I could sue, I wonder how much money I could get?

    If I sued then I’d likely not be able to buy beer here anymore, or maybe I could buy beer here but they’d probably find a different way to screw me over. 

    It’s too late to buy beer at the store, damn it I hope there is some left at the house.

    I might have a beer or two stashed in my room.

    Why is this twist tie in my hand? Oh yeah…

    What should I do now? 

    I managed to get my head straight enough to figure out I should talk to someone at the store about this and got up and went to the counter. I told them I had found this twisty tie in my burger and I think I actually said “I should be mad about this I think” and then I’m pretty sure I said “Shouldn’t I be mad about this?” and “My burger should be free or something, I could have been hurt” probably a “this is unacceptable” as I always thought things were unacceptable. I tried very hard to be very upset but a part of me realized how drunk I was and I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together long enough to get the story straight. Most of me was convinced they’d accuse me of lying and placing the twist tie in there myself for attention.

    I think I did actually get my meal paid for and I honestly forgot all about the incident until this night when I bit into the twisty tie in my salad.  Anyway, I just had to get that out of my head and on “paper” so to speak before it disappeared again.

  • Career and Locale Change #changes

    For the last few months I’ve been taking classes at night a couple times a week (Tuesday and Thursdays) to learn to be a phlebotomist and yesterday afternoon I took the final exam and am now certified and set to begin my new journey. My instructors at Because We Care here in DC were just so amazing and helpful and made the whole thing seem so easy – I know it’s because they were so good at training us. 

    A phlebotomist, in case you didn’t know is a technician that collects blood for testing and for transfusions, labeling the different samples, and keeping on top of all documentation. You’ve probably had a phlebotomist take your blood during your last doctor visit and didn’t even know they were anything besides a nurse. It’s very technical and specialized, I had to work for long hours figuring out the best ways to slip the syringe-needle with minimal discomfort on the patient. I’m actually getting a little turned on by wearing the rubber gloves so sometimes I might spend a little extra time just making sure they are “just right” before I begin.

    I had quite a few slips ups during my training and knew when the patient had gone that it would either bruise or at minimum sting for a little bit. But now I’m much more confident and have learned to distract the patient a little bit before I slip it in – mostly I just strike them up in casual conversation; ask them about their families or where they’ve vacationed lately. In my cubicle at the school lab I placed two posters for them to look at to help, one of the posters is a beautiful mountaintop covered in snow with a a couple of skiers on what looks like a milk run – boy does that scene make me wish I was out there this moment enjoying the powder. The other poster is just a couple of kittens, some people are into that I guess. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to go out of your way to please other people – especially if it helps them to relax, I’m all about small talk, but sometimes other distractions work.

    In anticipation of this certification I have been putting out feelers discretely for work in places that I’d like to live, you all know the list as I’ve talked about it so many times before but I think I’ve finally settled on Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I’ve sent my resume into St. Boniface hospital there and have already been asked to come in for an interview. My friend Nathan has assured me that I can crash at his house for the interview and if I get the job then I could even crash there until I get on my feet. Wow, I’m finally going to have free health care and I will only have to move out of the “land of the free” to get it. Crazy right? These Canadians not only have free health care, they are getting rid of their penny and have a porn channel… a porn channel! can you imagine? And the winters there I hear are comparable to what we have in the DC area so I’ll be fine.

    I’m flying out Monday for the interview and hope to have a job offer this week and if so I’ll be giving notice at my job then packing up and heading for Winnipeg! During my visit in September of last year I just fell in love with the place, the people, the poutine it’s everything I ever wanted and more. They’ve have good quality AA, beefy men and the Blue Bombers – Canada’s best football team and you know I’m a big football fan so I belong in this city. Once I’m settled in I hope a lot of you have the opportunity to visit – especially in January you really want to experience the snow and ice blanketing the city – it’s stunning.

    The thought of working in a hospital environment collecting bodily fluids for testing and labeling is just very fulfilling. I look forward to sucking… er drawing the blood out of Canadians for many years to come. I hope that you will all also have the opportunity to feel this fulfilled about a career change as I do.

    Becoming a certified phlebotomist is a life long dream I’ve had for a couple of months now and it’s finally becoming a reality.

    If you’re late to the party, this was my April Fools Day Post – I pass out around needles and blood, detest snow and cold weather and don’t do “small talk”.

  • If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes

    In spite of knowing better and having lived in a home where I was fed real meals with meats, vegetables, milk and bread and butter – when I finally lived on my own my main meal almost every day was an entire sausage and pepperoni pizza. A standard 12 inch Tombstone or Roma’s pizza, cooked in the oven for 18 minutes until golden brown on top.  Not that I didn’t eat other things, I did. Like bowls of cereal, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, burgers from a burger joint (and later in life steaks from a restaurant) or if I got to Ma’s for dinner or lunch whatever she would happen to be cooking if I liked it.  Ask anyone who knows me pretty well – I’m a picky eater. I don’t like sauces and dressings generally and am not a big fan of cooked vegetables.

    Despite my careless eating habits and lack of physical exertion, I never really got big or chunky (well there was the first summer at Ma and Pa’s where I put on a belly but it didn’t take) and I could have probably fit into the same pants that I wore when I was 16 at 24.

    Then in 2005 I did two things that changed all that

    1. I quit smoking
    2. I went back to school for a year

    Suddenly I was twenty (20) pounds heavier and my pants and shirts were tight. Worst of all? the start of man boobs, moobies as some like to call them. I haven’t needed a manzier, but I could see they were threatening to become a little more than I was interested in having. Moobies are something I don’t find attractive on men and it would be silly of me to have something that I didn’t like seeing on others you know.

    When I was in school (and sometimes on weekends within the last few years) there were days when I’d start the day with coffee a bowl of cereal and a couple hours later have a pizza for lunch, followed sometimes by a pizza for dinner. I’d follow that up with day long World of Warcraft marathons only moving from the computer to grab water or a snack (candy, ice cream, cereal).

    One Tombstone pepperoni and sausage pizza has the following Nutritional “value”:

    Amount Per Serving                         
    Calories 1635                                    Calories from Fat 736
                                                                  Percent Daily Value*
    Total Fat 81.7g                                  126%
    Saturated Fat 30.4g                          152%
    Cholesterol 156mg                             52%
    Sodium 3944mg                                164%
    Total Carbohydrates 152.9g            51%
    Dietary Fiber 10.6g                            42%
    Protein 71.8g                                       42%
    Vitamin A                                             36%
    Calcium                                                 89%
    *Based on a 2000 Calorie Diet

    Two of those pizzas a day was a lot of bad, especially when you think that I wasn’t doing anything to counter act all the bad that was there.

    So in the working world life changed a little bit. I’d start out the day with coffee and cereal, get to the 7-11 by the office grab two cinnamon twists and two bottles of chocolate milk and maybe a candy bar, then eat burger or pizza or fast food of some kind with the boss before heading home where for dinner I’d have a pizza and a bowl of ice cream – and sometimes finish the night with a bowl of cereal.  Every day pretty much, unless the housemate was cooking dinner then I’d eat whatever that might be (poor guy’s a great cook, but is limited to cook what I’ll actually eat).

    Besides the slowly growing moobies – the waistline kept expanding, the belly seemed to protrude a bit more than I’d like and the cholesterol has been high for probably a decade now. My biological parents were both heavy (Phillip was a football player in high school and Cheryl had my eating habits and aversion to exercise) so deep down in my mind I think I’m destined to be bigger. Suddenly the twenty pounds heavier was 35, 36 and 37…

    If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes… So what changed. Hell I don’t know…. oh I remember… I was having issues pooping – yes, too much information I know… and the doctor suggested I try to eat more fiber and I actually LIKE my doctor so I started to read about fiber and started to make minor changes in my diet.

    Every morning now the bowl of cereal is raisin bran (lots of fiber). Instead of the donuts and chocolate milk from the 7-11 it’s two bottles of orange juice and sunflower seeds and almonds. Tried to get the housemate to include vegetables that I like in meals he cooks (corn, green beans, peas, broccoli, cauliflower). Sometimes dinner is a bowl of raisin bran and a handful of nuts. And every night I try to eat an apple.  That’s a lot of change for me and my diet let me tell you – and I’m not perfect at it and sometimes I’ll still have a burger or yes, a pizza… hush, I said I wasn’t perfect.

    So slowly my body started to change, but not fast enough so I spent a little cash on a personal trainer and things got a little faster, but not super speed. Apparently dieting and exercise isn’t instant – who knew? The personal trainer and I are doing a lot of things that will never be useful in the real world – push ups, pull ups, lifting weights, curls, this that – but it’s certainly made my arms and chest a little firmer. I’ve also noticed that my nipples are kind of going off to the side now – which I think is really weird – shouldn’t these things point out front? I’ll have to ask someone who knows more than I know about these kinds of things.

    Throw in some cardio classes, keep walking about a mile and a half a day, and up with the fiber and healthier foods and we’ll see what happens to me. It’s not something I had planned on doing and I don’t know how it’ll all work out (the first week back to the gym I hurt my leg and was on crutches for a week – still hurts every now and then too) but it’s probably a step in the right direction.

  • What if everything changed?

    The boss is talking retirement, the roommate (landlord) is talking about moving (once his Mom passes on) – well so what? Love my boss and my roommate, consider them family, but I’m ready to go too.

    It would actually be a pretty cool thing if these two things happened in conjunction and it forced me to change too. It would force me to look at my life as it stands now and see what I’d like to do with the rest of it – however long that may be.

    With the whole world out there and I can choose to do anything I want, that seems pretty exciting doesn’t it? Warmer climate? school? menial labor? sure I don’t care any of those would be fine

     

  • I thought it was the end of the world – I was right

    Like most of America I watched the twin towers fall on TV and the internet – living and working in Washington DC I also had a rare experience of being amidst the chaos that erupted in DC and seeing a thick column of smoke billowing from the site of the attack on the Pentagon. At the time I worked on the 6th floor of Children’s National Medical Center and we had a clear view of the smoke at the Pentagon from our windows.

    There was an overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty, a feeling that this was the beginning of something that would change, if not end, the world. In my minds eye I could see the US retaliating against whomever it was and it leading to global destruction. I thought for sure the end of the world was right around the corner, and it turns out I was right.

    After the attacks on the US our country was encompassed in fear. We were afraid to laugh, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. It was quite a few months before we were confident enough to fly again and even then fear was encouraged by security at airports that grabbed the elderly and toddlers searching them for terrorist devices. Politicians, churches, and pundits of many fields all fueled speculation of worst case scenarios that would lead to the total destruction of our way of life.

    I know that Freedom isn’t free (I know because I’ve read the military families bumper stickers) but it certainly shouldn’t be driven by fear and that’s what I think we have now – people so afraid of the unknown they want to go back in time to a US that was less free, a US that was full of distrust and discrimination, a US that we’ve outgrown.

    Freedom is not a natural byproduct of fear.

    Since 9/11 there have been few moments when the world came together and believed in a better tommorow – the first time was right after the attacks when the whole world mourned with us and the second was when the whole world cheered when Barack Obama was elected as President of the United States. As a nation we’ve squandered away the better parts of these moments of hope, we’ve allowed war to encompass our plans for the future, we’ve allowed McCarthy like politicians stop progress, we’ve allowed FEAR to guide us.

    Is there still a chance that we can live again on the dream of a better tomorrow? Yes, but that means today we have to stand up and face the fears. No longer can we sit idly by and watch the politicians cater to the rich, no longer can we allow our own infrastructure to collapse while re-building other nations, no longer is it “somebody elses problem”.

    Want the loss of life from September 11 to mean something? Want to believe again in a land of the free and a home of the brave? Face the fear, don’t believe the lies, learn a little about the politicians and talk show hosts you so blindly follow. Be the change – such a cliche but one that needs to be said today, tomorrow and forever more.

    We lost a lot ten years ago maybe it’s time we took it back.