Diabetes, Depression and Death

This is likely a whiny post. This was your only warning. I’ve recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Many years ago I used to get tested pretty regularly to see if I had diabetes… see my biological father died from complications with diabetes when he was 48 (I just turned 48). His complications were […]

Revolution

I’ve been up for a few hours thinking about a revolution. Thinking about America the broken. Last night I wrote about acceptance and turning the other cheek so to speak… but even as I finished writing it I thought “what a bunch of pollyanna bullshit”. Looking back and seeing hate, vitriol and santorum (look it […]

Voodoo, Turtles and Magic

My dream last night: He looked like a Native American at first – his face painted with white stripes, eyes full of crazy, long hair draped down in dreads. I approached him cautiously unsure of why he was there. He grabbed my wrist tight, I tried to pull away but he just squeezed tighter. He […]

Got Trust?

A few years back a psychologist helped me come to a conclusion on love – it has to be earned. No one gets a default feeling of love just because they are related to you, know you or were nice to you once in passing. I loved the idea of my mother – a woman […]

What's Going On In My World

A nightmare woke me up this morning around 1:30 – couldn’t fall back to sleep after an hour or so so I’m up. Someone was using text messages to hack into my brain – their little profile pic showed it was the Bones villain Christopher Pelant, a very smart computer guy who makes other peoples lives […]

To Get Off Or Not

I started taking an anti-depressant at the end of the year called Citalopram (Celexa). I wasn’t really sure it was a good idea but I was in a bad place and was looking for a way out. My regular doctor did an annual “how are you doing” survey on me last fall and suggested it… […]

Unity.. no thanks, I have plans

I don’t like people. (I frequently say “hate” which might be a strong word) I’ve said that a million times before and it’s still true. One of my bosses says that too – I tell him he doesn’t because he’s so nice to everyone, but he insists that he does. Probably why I like him […]

Verifying the Differences

I’ve chatted a little bit about being on a medication recently for my depression. I’ve always had a depression of some sort, the intensity varied in waves that I was able to navigate through. Until this last fall when it was as if a tidal wave struck me down and the undercurrent was helping me […]

In the Dark

A hit of acid can change the world. Everything is brighter, crisper and more defined – you notice variances of color that your eyes would just pass over before. The whole world is a new place that you want to explore and experience. Anything that is normally dull and boring is suddenly the most relevant […]