55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer
The 4th thing is off, for those of you that didn’t know, I had volunteered to sing with the Washington Choral Arts Society for A Capitol Fourth. A televised show in front of the Capital.
Then something came up at work, and I think I will not be able to devote to the practice or the performance the amount of energy that should be devoted to the project, so I bowed out. It is a big thing at work, so I think it was the right decision.
I didn’t sleep much last night, lyrics and arguments kept running through my head. Today is the big day, singing at the kennedy center, singing with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington.
I’m very excited, there will be a lot of people I love in the audience, and I hope the enjoy the show.
Today, June 20th, I went to the County of Arlington Courthouse to testify in regards to the incident listed here:
On May 2nd, 2007, at approximately 9:00 a.m. as I descended the Metro Platform escalator to Terminal C at Ronald Reagan National Airport I heard a man say loudly “you don’t know who you messin’ with” I looked down to see a man pounding his fist into another man near the bottom of the escalator. The victim, was curled into a protective stance (almost a fetal position), not fighting, not making any effort to inflict injury yet the man kept hitting him.
I waved my arm and pointed to the area to try to grab the Metro Attendants attention, but he could not see clearly what I was trying to point out. As I reached the area I told the man to back away and stop hitting the other man. He hit him a few more time before the Metro Attendant arrived and he listened to him. The Metro attendant told the assailant: you need to get out of my station, get out of here. And after hitting the victim several more times he did leave the station.
There was blood splattered and pooled on the floor and a dumb bell, I only saw him use his fists as a weapon, not the dumb bell. When the victim sat up it was clear he had been hurt, there was blood dripping from his mouth and on his clothes. The Metro attendant, placed a cone at one area to direct people away from the blood, and I placed a similar cone on the opposite side.
The Metro Attendant then called over the Airport intercom for security to immediately arrive.
I asked if I should stay for a statement or something, the attendant returned to his booth and grabbed a pad of paper and told me to write my name, address and phone number down. I asked the attendant why he let the assailant go, his answer: he works for the here.
I was not a witness to what the victim may have said or done to instigate the assailant, but I’m fairly certain there was not excuse to continue hitting him. I am also no expert on security or protocols for WMATA, but I know letting an assailant go because of where he works is wrong.
The above mentioned statement was sent to Arlington County Police Department, WMATA, Jim Graham and some others. WMATA’s response is that they have spoken with the Metro Attendant and he claims he didn’t know who the assailant was. Today, I was informed that both the assailant and the victim worked at the same restaurant/cafe within the airport. WMATA said they had given descriptions of the assailant to the police and that the Metro attendant followed procedure and did nothing wrong.
Unfortunately the victim in this matter did not show up, his number has been disconnected and he no longer works where he did work. The prosecuting attorney asked for an extension and this matter may come up again in August or October. I was also informed that he did use the dumb bell to strike the victim, and that he was indeed in jail.
The saddest part of this entire experience was knowing approximately 10 “human beings” walked right by while this man inflicted injury upon another human being. They did nothing to stop it, nor even help the victim.
Back in 1986 or 87 when I went off to camp, it was a job corp type camp filled with other kids and we stayed in some kind of religious university dorm rooms. I recall everyone pairing off, everyone had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I didn’t have one, didn’t really want one either, but felt kind of pressured to get one. Mind you, at this time everyone except Liberace was straight, so for a 6 year old kid any attractiveness towards the male gender was frowned upon.
I did finally give in, started holding hands and kissing with Rebecca, the little red head girl… so very Charlie Brown of me. We never did more than kiss, and I didn’t believe the other boy’s bravado about going further. At the time George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” had recently been released and believe it or not, Monagomy was the topic of discussion; the kids didn’t know what it meant and one of the camp counselors explained it to us.
So a part of me, back then, thought this girl, Rebecca, maybe she could be the one for me, the one that ‘fixes’ me. At the end of summer camp, we vowed to keep in touch and I assumed remain faithful to one another. So the next year at camp, I was shocked to learn she had moved on… well relieved a bit too, I didn’t really want to be ‘fixed’ I liked guys and didn’t not want to be myself.
I don’t want to date someone just for the sake of dating someone, I want it to be more than that. So, that spark has to be there and even a little bit of Wow!!! has to be there.
So, this guy last week told me that his house mate had left a bunch of food from an event and asked if I wanted to come over and eat some of it. I explained that I was a very picky eater, and then pointed out that he was asking me over for leftovers.
Last night, same guy, asked if I would like to go to a Bar-BQ on Memorial Day with him.
Does this seem to anyone else like he’s asking me out? I’m such an online guy that actually being asked out is a foreign concept to me.
Even when I was young, I never had any real desires to exercise. While my siblings would be out in the snow or running around outside playing tag or ball; I would rather be in my room reading a book or watching TV.
In school it was a little different, I learned to detest P.E. class. Silly exercises that were mandatory, taught by either frightening muscled out hairy beasts or the women that wanted to be frightening muscled out hairy beasts. There was no explanation as to why these were necessary, what they would do for us, it was a ‘chore’. Now, the rest of school was also a chore, but it seemed less so to me. I didn’t mind learning things, just didn’t want any sweat involved in the learning.
So tonight, I go off to Gold’s Gym and meet with my personal trainer for the last time. I haven’t actually seen her in a few weeks, nor been to the gym. I just can’t drag myself to go, there is nothing of interest at the gym and I find it very boring.
I guess I’m self conscious too, I often compare myself to others outsides or what I see this guy or that guy doing. So and so can lift this much weight and I can only lift this much weight so why even try. It seems an effort in futility to me.
What I really need is a reason to go, some kind of motivation or excuse that will inspire me… and I haven’t found that yet.
I don’t recall the exact day I became a member of the Choir, I know I was pretty excited and let all of you know… I’m that way. Today was our first performance out with the Songs Of My Family pieces, we sang at the Steven Kaufman Aids Foundation event in Baltimore.
I was very nervous getting ready and in the ride over to Baltimore. I was even nervous sitting with the other guys singing/rehearsing before the show. One guy who I sat next to for the first time said: it’s nice to finally sit next to some one in tune. So that was nice.
During the actual concert I know that my entrances were off in a few places, and I forgot lyrics in a few places, but I’m seriously blaming nerves. I’ve listened to these songs, and practiced them so much my roommate already knows the lyrics.
Anyway, it was a very nice time. I was proud to be there and several people complimented the choir after the show saying how nice it was.
So when I think of Gold’s Gym, I think of heavily muscled men in an over packed gym filled only with barbells and testosterone. My Gold’s isn’t like that, THANK GOD. It seems very friendly, I think they could use more treadmills, but that’s true of most gyms.
My personal trainer is very perky, and knowledgeable and mean… well, she’s supposed to be mean. I am sore, and grumpy as a result.
Here is your first opportunity to come hear me sing as a part of the GMCW. Now, not only will you get to see me all decked out in a tuxedo, but this is an AIDS Benefit, which is wonderful.
to purchase tickets:
http://www.associated.org/section_display.html?ID=1519
I’d love to see you there.
Saturday I attended the GMCW New Member Party at the Halo bar on P street. It was nice, I met some nice people, saw some of the guys from the choir that I think are attractive. I left there around 7 and headed home.
Tonights rehearsal was extra long, in part to make up for not practicing during Easter weekend, I think it was a successful rehearsal and enjoyed myself. My buddy showed up about 15 minutes or so late, but he is involved with another choir and they had performed at the Kennedy Center today.
After the rehearsal, I stopped in at the Green Lantern with some of the guys from the choir to do some karaoke, which I did not participate in.
Now I’m home and heading to bed.
