Back in 1986 or 87 when I went off to camp, it was a job corp type camp filled with other kids and we stayed in some kind of religious university dorm rooms. I recall everyone pairing off, everyone had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I didn’t have one, didn’t really want one either, but felt kind of pressured to get one. Mind you, at this time everyone except Liberace was straight, so for a 6 year old kid any attractiveness towards the male gender was frowned upon.
I did finally give in, started holding hands and kissing with Rebecca, the little red head girl… so very Charlie Brown of me. We never did more than kiss, and I didn’t believe the other boy’s bravado about going further. At the time George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” had recently been released and believe it or not, Monagomy was the topic of discussion; the kids didn’t know what it meant and one of the camp counselors explained it to us.
So a part of me, back then, thought this girl, Rebecca, maybe she could be the one for me, the one that ‘fixes’ me. At the end of summer camp, we vowed to keep in touch and I assumed remain faithful to one another. So the next year at camp, I was shocked to learn she had moved on… well relieved a bit too, I didn’t really want to be ‘fixed’ I liked guys and didn’t not want to be myself.
I don’t want to date someone just for the sake of dating someone, I want it to be more than that. So, that spark has to be there and even a little bit of Wow!!! has to be there.