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Awakening

The alarm goes off before I’m ready, it cuts off the music and blares at me until I get up to shut it off. I long for the days of my childhood when I could sleep the day away but I’d settle for just sleeping until I awoke naturally.

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I then slip on some underwear or superhero pajama bottoms – depending on how cold it is – and go into the kitchen, right about then I remember to slip on my slippers and turn back around to my bedroom… every morning this happens. The coffee pot in the kitchen is prepped and ready to brew, I push the button and then head for the living room – the computer also needs to be awoken. After I push the button on the back of it I have to head back to the bedroom, the bed needs to be made… then I remember the pressure on my bladder and I stop in the bathroom to relieve myself… mornings are hard (no pun intended). Back to the bedroom I go and I actually make the bed, something else I never did as a kid, I was just going to mess it up again. 

As the coffee brews I sit at the computer and see what’s changed. I look at the junk email which used to seem so important to me and the rest of the world and see that not one thing has come that needs my attention – I archive it all and head over to Facebook. On Facebook I look to see if there is a birthday, then I stop to think if that person’s birthday matters to me and then I decide to just wish them a Happy Birthday no matter who they are, I try to personalize the ones that matter to me, otherwise some folks just get a Happy Birthday and that’s it… I don’t think they notice or care, the Facebook birthday wishes have become akin to the emails in my inbox – they once seemed so important and relevant, but now are just a part of the routine.

The coffee finally finishes brewing and I stir in a little bit of sweetener, sometimes I’ll even drop a dab or two of creamer (milk) but not very often. The cup accompanies me back to the computer where I check news sites and blogging sites for information I still find relevant. I look at comic book and webcomic sites, satire sites, actual news (if we can still call it that) and a few online dating sites. Usually this is pretty quick, there is rarely anything new to warrant me spending much time on… but once in a while I find an article that really gets my attention and I read and think about something which may or may not lead to me writing something. I often write things that never end up here.

After the first cup is drained I prepare the second cup and a small amount of cereal, today it was Cheerios, but it could just have easily been Froot Loops or Pops… once in a while I actually make peanut butter toast for breakfast – it takes longer to make and to eat but the change is welcome. I grab a multivitamin and sit and do my meditation readings. I read first from As Bill Sees It, then the Daily Reflections and finally a few pages from the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Good stuff to start my morning and give me things to think about. When I’m reading those things, especially the same sections of the Big Book, sometimes my mind starts to wander about other things and I start all over with that reading until I get through with only thinking about it… annoying when I’m sleepy and distracted, but worth it. 

Then I go back to the computer, read some Facebook stuff, probably play a game or two Bejeweled Blitz, Candy Crush… and finish the second cup of coffee. Then I stand on the rug in front of the couch and I do stretches that I learned to do at Ashley Furniture back in the mid 80s. They called it flex & stretch and it stretches everything over a short period of time, makes me feel old when I hear pops and snaps when I do this… Then I go over to the breakfast bar, I have left the stool out from the bar as a reminder that I haven’t done my prayers for the day.. my prayers are the same each day:

“God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always.” Alcoholics Anonymous page 63 Step 3 Prayer

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.” Alcoholics Anonymous page 76 Step 7 prayer

“God, please grant me knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry that out” modification of 11th step.

Then I push in the stool, reminding myself that I’ve done my prayers and go to the bathroom area. I then use my water pik, sometimes I shave, brush my teeth and then sit on the toilet for a bit… Afterwards I shower, I wash my face with some good stuff, use a bar of soap usually an unscented bar for sensitive skin… towel off, apply deodorant and start to get dressed. I get dressed like most of you, I put one leg at a time in my pants – I don’t have shoes to tie, just the slip in kind most of the time…

I almost always have time left over to sit at the computer again and write or read something, maybe a quick game on Facebook. Then I’m off to work or the meeting if it’s a weekend…

Yeah, I sometimes miss the days when I could sleep in and wake up naturally.

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