In early 2020 I applied for a job as an “appointment specialist” not knowing exactly what that meant, just wanting a job that would provide me with health insurance and a paycheck.
I was fortunate enough to be granted an interview and I remember wondering how an interview was going to go as I wanted to wear a mask during what was the height of Covid. When I arrived at my interview I remember thinking it was odd because I didn’t see many masks. I asked about that during the interview and the manager, Darren, said they took proper precautions.
I heard I got the job a few days later and started within two weeks. The first few days were like an intro to the company, everything they could tell us about what they did, how they did it and what was expected of me. I soon found myself working in the call center scheduling appointments for homeowners. I did pretty well and was among the top callers each day. But I was bored. I did give it about 7 months of effort.
A job with a company my friend owned suddenly opened up and I was set to leave. I put in my two weeks notice and was set. But the company wasn’t done with me yet, the director of call center talked to my manager(heard this all afterwards) and said “How do we keep the good ones”.
Soon I was contacted by the director of Inside Sales, he said “We think you’d do well in Inside Sales, please consider giving it a chance. SALES?!?! ick. I flat out told the guy “I don’t like lying and don’t think sales is for me”. He said that it’s not about lying and that he thought I would like it. After discussing with my friend I thought, what the hell, let’s give it a month.
One month went well, It was easy, just making calls talking to customers and getting them to want to buy what we were selling. I soon bought myself 10 or so sales books learning how to sell better and reading as much as I could. Before I knew it, It was December and I had sold over one million in less than a year. And I liked it. I was happy, busy and helping people.
We started with about 7 people in the department, but as the company grew so did the department and before you knew it we had 20, then 30 and finally about 40 reps in our department. We also had a couple of great department heads that helped us grow, instilled in us pride and the departments’ sales also kept growing.
I eventually started to take actions to improve the department, helping the directors and manager with little things. One of my colleagues called me the team cheerleader as I was always trying to keep spirits up and encourage those who were struggling. My manager approached me about becoming a team lead around year 4 and it was about a year later that that came to fruition.
I liked being a lead; helping people, learning more about the business and tracking goals. I listened to my team’s calls, coached them on this or that and was available to help with our boss, who wasn’t available. I liked it quite a lot.
I saw a lot of changes in the company, a lot of people come and go. I made friendships that will likely last a lifetime. I learned valuable skills in the last six years and will take them with me when I go.
This year brought more changes, including my decision to step down from the lead position. The company made changes too and continues to grow and adapt to what it’s going to become.
I had been thinking about leaving for a while, but got serious about it a few months back and started tossing my resume out there to jobs that looked appealing. Soon I had 5 interviews lined up and all of them were jobs I was more than capable of doing. I took evaluations, had virtual interviews, modified my resume and soon I had three offers.
I took my time deciding which direction to go and thought really hard about leaving before making the ultimate decision. I even considered another position within my current company, but it didn’t seem to be for me.
It’s been a good six and a half years. I grew along with the company and I guess we grew apart.
Six and a half years ago, I was just looking for a paycheck and health insurance. I ended up finding a career, making lifelong friends, and learning a few things about myself along the way. Not bad for a job I didn’t even know I wanted.
I was working in a call center at a small business in Virginia Beach when my friend asked me to come work for her business for a bit more money. I said yes and put in notice at my job. They didn’t want to let me go and suggested that I could make more doing the call center gig than I could at my friends company. I was set to go though.
One of the directors at the company heard about me leaving and said (I heard this 2nd hand) “we have to find a way to keep the good ones”. They approached a manager in another department and asked him to offer me one of his open positions.
That manager called me in and started talking about sales. Sales. A dreaded word in most industries full of liars and crooks – that’s what I was thinking anyway. He explained there was an opportunity here to make more money and that he had listened to some of my calls from the call center. He said “I think you’d do well”. I told him I’d think about it but really wasn’t sure this was something I wanted to start to do. Could I be an “honest” sales person, is what I wondered.
I talked it over with people that I run things by and also expressed my concerns about the gig at my friends business. I decided I would give it a try and if it didn’t work out I could approach my friend about her position that she assured me would always be there if I needed it.
In the beginning I would make my calls similar to a call from the call center – make it quick, get em an appointment and off the phone. A colleague, also from the call center now in sales, advised me to take my time, that here it wasn’t about how many calls you could make but what you could make of that call.
They assigned me a zone to sell in, Indiana. The previous Inside Sales Rep (ISR) didn’t mesh well with the team and struggled to make goal. I was kind of forewarned that it might be tough to get into their trust and have them want to have me part of their sales.
Fortunately I had a great Sales Manager (SM) and Assistant Sales Manager (ASM) that were patient with me and also integrated; me into their culture. I was invited to their weekly meeting, where I was asked to participate and they tracked my monthly goals right along side my teammates. They were great team and soon became accustomed to me calling them, asking questions about scopes of work and letting me know of customers I might wan to follow up on.
Books on sales and selling, on winning people over soon filled my Kindle and Audible libraries. I crammed as much knowledge as I could about this new direction. My head was filled with a lot of ideas about what makes a good salesperson.
My first months were less than illustrious, they were ordinary. I think it was a sold two months before I reeled in my first sale and it was a small one. I was so proud though, I had done it and it wasn’t that hard. I had made hundreds of calls and sent many emails but this one had just been a cake walk, they wanted what we had and were ready to pay for it.
But I wasn’t an instant success, sure one sale, but what else could I do. I kept reading books, kept doing word for word what they told me and I was struggling.
We hired a new director shortly after I started. He had plenty of experience in Inside Sales and sales in general. During a one on one meeting he told me “forget about all those books, just be yourself, people like you and want to buy from you. Just be yourself”. That was something I hadn’t tried so I thought I’d give it a go.
Sure enough, just talking to people, asking them how I can help and answering their questions works quite well. My close percentage went up and I was having fun, which is something I highly recommend.
That’s how I got started with my job in Inside Sales for Groundworks, a much bigger company than it was 4 years ago today. At the time I think they had acquired maybe 4 other companies on the east side of the country and now we are an international phenomenon.
It hasn’t been the best year in my sales career, far from it. My zone went through a lot of change and there were firings, hirings (and even a rehiring) and promotions. My SM moved to California and things changed. We hired a new SM, got a few ASMs and a bunch of new guys that didn’t know me. The buy in from my Indiana team is not as prevalent as it was in years past.
My dedication and effort were being forgotten – I wasn’t making the calls I used to. I wasn’t putting my true self into conversations. I wanted an easier softer way that I’d seen others use with great results. Well that’s not for me. I need to make the calls, connect with the customer and my team and then I can succeed. I spent the last month trying to build that motivation and dedication back up.
The Inside Sales Team when I started was 6 people. Now there are 40 I think. 40 is a lot. We’ve grown as Groundworks has grown, we had to. We have great camaraderie and we’re breaking records together. Over half of the team works in other states and we only see them a couple times a year, but we have developed friendships amongst ourselves and that makes for a better team.
This month I’m covering for a teammate out on maternity leave, that zone is Iowa – in addition to my Indiana branch. Spring is almost here and that’s when things can really pick up for us across the country. I’m up to the task and will continue my efforts to help my customers and teammates.
Four years ago someone considered me one of “the good ones” and set me on a path in sales. That path has brought me to new friendships, skills and a future I never dreamed of. Thank you Groundworks, Inside Sales, and my teammates.
Around three months ago I was approached by a friend, he wanted to have dinner. I asked if Indian was okay and he said it was. We met at my favorite Indian restaurant on a Wednesday night and had delicious food. I just thought he wanted to have dinner.
He then started to tell me about the mess he had gotten into – he was using heavy drugs, couldn’t stop and was doing some rather dangerous ones and dealing with some sketchy characters.
I’m pretty open about being clean and sober, talk about it, post about it and celebrate it. So he knew I was someone who might be able to help. I was mostly a drunk when I was using – lots of alcohol and a few drugs when they were available.
He talked about his drugs of choice and what it was like for him. He was concerned with how he was presenting himself and if others had noticed him acting strangely. I was honest with him – yes some people had questioned his behavior and demeanor. He didn’t like that he was obviously showing signs of the drug use. Then he pulled up his sleeves to show me track marks and told me how bad it really was getting.
I have a friend or two in N.A. and I got him hooked up with them and a good meeting and he promised to go. He did reach out to the members and attended a meeting, where he rambled on and on for a few minutes but wasn’t very coherent, I’m told. He wouldn’t go back to the meeting, see he had a history of attending N.A. before and had had this demon to fight in the past, but it had reemerged and was winning this time.
My friend kept on telling me he “knew what to do” just needed help doing it, but he wouldn’t use the only tools I knew to use – meetings, program and fellowship. He continued his downward spiral and again asked me for help.
I talked to him about the Employee Assistants Program (EAP) at work and how we could get some help. That they may be able to find him a facility to detox and get better with help. He was on board and we worked with the bosses, EAP and got him lined up with a treatment center. He was hesitantly on board with treatment, he’d done it before though and had some old ideas that were keeping him from being fully committed I think.
He did a couple weeks in the treatment center and left early. He couldn’t be around those types of people and couldn’t relate to their problems, he was different. One of the things they talk about in A.A. is how thinking your case is different is a way to get yourself killed.
My friend took some common steps that we see in addiction – he did a geographic, thinking if he moved away from the problem it would help. He thought keeping busy with work would help. But he had the dark web and access to anything with the click of a few buttons.
He called me Friday night for some help with a work problem. I paused my game and tried to help him. He told me he was “in Costa Rica for a tattoo”. That’s the last I heard from him.
Today we were told at work that he had died. There were no details released yet but I have a few theories. There were many tears shed.
I left A.A. a few years ago. I haven’t regretted that until today when I was ruing over the steps I had taken to help my friend and if I had done enough. Even wondering if I was just so out of touch with recovery now that I couldn’t reach my friend with a message he would hear.
My friends assure me there wasn’t anything more I could do, that I did the right things and led the way for a solution, a way out.
I am sad and mad about my friend. He was so young and so crazy full of life. I never knew what bullshit would come out of his mouth but I would usually laugh. We had opposing political views but could converse about issues without losing our shit. He had this deep desire to love other people. He loved his toys and his friends.
I’m sorry that he found himself on a dark journey, I know it was hard for him to get out of.
There is hope for the hopeless. Reach out to me, reach out to family or friends or the EAP. You can reach out to A.A. or N.A. or a million other A’s too.
I’m going to be out of the office for an extended period beginning the middle of next month. I have a planned vacation with one of my best friends to Cancun for a week, then a few days later I’m having surgery on my right shoulder. I googled the recovery time for shoulder surgery and it’s not definitive, but looks like a few weeks before I can get back to the office.
My shoulder has been bothering me for over a year now. Limited motion and pain. Pain to move it, pain if I sneeze, pain just walking down the stairs. It’s not been fun. We tried some physical therapy (PT) for two months and while I did regain some motion, we didn’t relieve the pain. The Physical Therapist said that was all she could do for me and recommended I talk to the Ortho specialist to see what options there were.
The Ortho doctor, well first the physicians assistant, said that we could keep on with the PT to see if we continued to improve. This didn’t sit well with me as I kept thinking of the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I told him that – so he called in the doc. The Doc and I then went over everything again and he said these things “sometimes” get better with time – I asked how much time – he said about 6 months… but I’d been experiencing this for about six months at that time. He said our other option is surgery, we went over that and talked about moving forward with that. I suggested we give it three more months, see if it changed – it didn’t.
I don’t currently have any anxiety about the surgery, doesn’t mean it won’t come later I guess. Mostly my anxiety is about work and not being there. It’s not a money thing, it’s what am I going to do if I can’t work and/or play video games… really, how boring is this recovery going to be. Also, how long will I be gone… first a week for vacation then at least another week for initial recovery.
Planning on being out is different, I have a lot of responsibilities at work. I like to think my teams depend on me for results and camaraderie. I work all kinds of hours with my team, at home I’m always stepping up to help someone with a sale or a document – doesn’t matter the time, they rely on me to be there.
Who can you trust to step in and cover for you, to take care of your team while you’re out? I have 30 some people in my department that are capable of doing so. Some of them are swamped with prospects of their own and I think my team would be an afterthought to them. Not in a bad way, but like they have established work ethic and system that makes them successful, I don’t want to throw a wrench into that. Some of my team just couldn’t meet the challenge of a large team to help out in addition to their current duties. So I called an audible and asked my manager who I should pick. My first choice he shot down as someone with too much on their plate already, but then he threw out some names I hadn’t considered and we chose someone that should be up to the task. My manager did joke, I hope, that my team would like my replacement more than me…
It’s a hard thing to let go of, my team, letting someone else step in and help them with their various needs… will they be fast enough, nice enough, efficient enough or will they disappoint me and my team. Most of my team has my direct mobile number and I don’t want to hear they haven’t been taken care of in my absence. It’s not rocket science, what I do, and I’m not asking them to sell my book of business, just to cover customers that call in to move forward after previous interactions. This is going to be ok, I keep telling myself.
I have to trust my manager’s instinct. Let my team be in capable hands of my co-worker. Relax and focus on me and my recovery. I will have work to do – PT and a lot of it from what I understand – they have scheduled me for my first PT appointment the afternoon after my surgery. That I find aggressive, but probably in my best interest.
I may invest in Dragon Naturally Speaking to see if I can get some work done. I’ve also been playing around with my left hand, seeing if I can maybe use it to get somethings done… but again, really should be focusing on my PT and doing what the doctor says.
I’ll be ok, my team will be ok and I’ll have a pain free shoulder before I know it!
I’ve been working in Sales (Inside Sales) for a little over three years now. When the company first approached me with the opportunity I scoffed, not wanting anything to do with the culture of sales that I had in my head – sleazy salesmen, wearing plaid sports coats and lying to you to get a sale. The guy who interviewed me for the promotion (I had been working in the call center) assured me I should give it a chance and that I might like it. He also hinted that I could make a decent amount of money.
I started slow, unsure of myself and my abilities. I stumbled here and there and managed to overstep a few times, but eventually (about 4 months in) I got the hang of it Over time I slowly built up my pipeline of customer and established strong relationships with my outside sales teammates.
At the beginning I read and listened to a ton of books on sales (Zig Ziglar’s “Selling 101“, David R. Cook’s “How to be a Great Salesperson … by Monday Morning“, Grant Cardone’s “Sell or Be Sold” and Ryan Daniel Moran’s “12 Months to $1 Million” to name a few), I was studying at night and trying to figure out my niche and all these folks had such good ideas about what to do and when to do it. It really was a lot of education for me and I think I absorbed a lot of it. But I was so obsessed with selling right and trying not to mess it up that I tripped a lot.
My boss had pulled me aside one day and asked what was holding me back and why was I struggling so. I explained that I was studying very hard, reading and rereading many books and just trying to get it all down… he gave me really good advice – he said “just be yourself, people like you”. He did say all that stuff that I read was helpful, but ultimately selling is about building relationships and relating to people. That talk really helped me and I improved dramatically.
I started talking to customers about themselves, sharing about myself and listened. That’s a big one, listening, hard for me because I always want to get on to the next call, the next customer, the next potential sale. But when I stop and listen I can hear the customers pain points and find a way to relate to them and talk about the solutions we offer. It also helps to strongly believe in your team, your product and your company – which I do.
I watch my colleagues in Inside Sales and some of them can cite chapter and verse of our product specifications, some of them know the ins and outs of financing a project, others do a little of everything… and most of us are successful in what we do. I haven’t found one way that is better than the rest – yes, some of us have tools which we use to increase our reach and our message but others are just diligent about doing everything they can to sell a job and they do well.
For the last two years I’ve managed to get into the top ten of my department. in 2023 I sold over three million with my team. I enjoy what I’m doing and the people I’m doing it with and almost every day is a pleasure to be a part of. I make a ton of calls, send a bunch of text messages and emails and hear from people of all kinds; It’s fun.
Over the last year or so we’ve been pushing discounts, 10% here, 15% there and even one month with 20%. Last month we were again given an extra 5% to play with to try to make some deals happen. I don’t rely on the discount much – I strongly believe what we are selling is worth the price.
It’s already been an up and down year in sales for me. January I missed my goals by quite a lot (rare for me) and yet this month I’m way ahead and it’s only the beginning of the first full week. Nothing changed about my workflow or ethic; sometimes it’s just up and sometimes it’s down. I just go into work planning to help people and it seems to work out.
I’m planning to sell over 4 Million this year. I think I can do it with my current team, company and attitude.
My friend Suzanne recently did some estate planning with her family and I reminded her what I would like done. She suggested maybe I should write it down so it’s known. I suppose that’s a good idea.
First, if a situation were to occur where I was in a vegetative state, a coma or incapable of breathing or living on my own…. I have no desire to live in such a state. I barely had a desire to live at all, so adding any of those to the list would be a no brainer, no thank you. Pull the plug, donate my organs if they can be and let me go.
In the event that I were to perish, hopefully sooner rather than later, below is what I was thinking at this time and for a while now. I believe I’m of sound mind, depression and anxiety, but sound.
AFTER LIFE
When I die, I believe I’m dead… that’s it. I don’t believe in an eternal life where I would either get to spend time romping through the Elysian fields or dancing in the flames of hell. Don’t buy into it. I know there are people that are living for the opportunity to go to heaven where they get to spend eternity with their loved ones…. eternity with people you can’t tolerate for a Thanksgiving. I just don’t see it happening. What version of those people are you going to see – the 98 year old version nor the teenage version, what would it even be like… but I digress.
If I’m wrong… and there is a spirit or soul that sticks around or goes somewhere, I don’t plan on staying near where I lived…. how boring would that be. I would explore other countries or planets and be anywhere but at my body or gravestone. So there is no need to go “talk to me” at a headstone, I wouldn’t be there. And honestly, I don’t want to listen to you talk to me about how much you miss me or what you did today, I’m good, move on.
In the DC Comics Universe there is a character named Death, she’s a Neil Gaiman creation. When each person dies she visits them and tells them it’s time, she says “You get what everyone gets, you got a lifetime” or something like that. She also seems to say that death and after are personal to each person, that they get a say in what is to come (if anything). Well, if that occurs I’ll just choose nothingness, to be gone and my consciousness to be no more, I’ve had more than my share and I don’t need further adventures.
REMAINS
I want to be cremated. Takes up less space and is eco friendlier…. so many cemeteries, so much space used up. I’m not a fan of burial or a tombstone with my name on it. Don’t want people to go to some random graveyard and think some part of me is there, there isn’t.
I wouldn’t mind if my ashes were to become a part of a tree, I think that’s cool and a good use of a decomposing body. The Living Urn is one such site that caters to that kind of thing. I’d prefer a lemon tree, but again, I’m not there so it won’t matter. If that proves ineffective cost wise or logistically then just burn me and do whatever with the ashes you like, won’t matter to me…. Well that’s not true. I have no desire for my remains to be taken to Wisconsin, no thank you… on the off chance that a soul would be bound to the “body” I wouldn’t want to be bound there. In face it would be awful. I can imagine a hell where I’d be trapped in an eternal Wisconsin winter and I just don’t want that.
When my biological father passed they cremated him and gave me a small vial with some of the ashes. If my siblings would want such a thing I guess that’s ok. Unfortunately I do realize part of me would then end up in Wisconsin, but I’m feeling generous.
Suzanne can decide if she wants to do anything with the ashes, Really up to her. She may place me on a shelf next to her dogs and that sounds like a fine place to be.
BELONGINGS
I don’t really own much. I did pay off my Smart car, so there is that, but it’s old and has little value. I consider myself a minimalist… oh not like a crazy person you’d see on TLC or Showtime or something. I just don’t have much. I’ve always done an inventory regularly for things I own – Is this is thing I use? Is this a thing I like? Do I really need to hold on to it? Does it have sentimental value? Is that value dated? lol
The comic book collection I own is quite small now compared to how much I had 10 years ago. So there isn’t much there. I don’t believe there is value in the issues I own, but you could try to sell them. It would be better to donate them for some kids to read. My love for reading started with an old X-Men comic. It was beat up, had no cover and was a dorky story. It was at my great aunt Marion’s house and it was the only thing that helped keep my sanity during the visit there. I don’t remember much of the issue, I know they were in the Savage Land and ran into Kazar and Iceman was more of a snowman than an ice man. Anyway, reading was one of the things I enjoyed in life and if I could pass that love onto other kids then that’d be a good thing.
Digital Library I don’t know if this is something that can be given to anyone, but just in case. I have a little over 4000 songs on iTunes. Garth Brooks is uploaded from Amazon, but other than that they are all from iTunes. If you do the math with each song costing .99 that’s almost $4,000, but of course many of those songs were more than that. There is everything in my library from Boyz II Men, Magg Dylan, Tim McGraw, Josh Groban, Zac Brown Band… just a nice variety. My Apple video library has 329 items… some of those are series so many more than 329 as I collected whole series. Audible – has 151 titles, that’s a lot of listening and a lot of them I listened to over and over… and read too. Speaking of reading, there are 2060 books in my Kindle library, read every one. Comixology (now owned by Amazon) I have 1660 digital comics. I liked the idea of Comixology and loved reading comics that way, but there is something about the feel of a comic in your hand that is better. Just for the record when Amazon bought it they screw it up and it’s less user friendly now. I think that’s it for official digital purchases.
Superman. Well I do have some Superman memorabilia. I don’t think any of it has value other than to me. I didn’t take the best care of it, One of my statues has a cape that has broken off and is just perched upon his shoulders, shame cause I liked that one too. There are glasses, lights, lunchboxes, Funkos, action figures and statues. Posters, a large portrait (a gift from my friend Katelyn), rings… a wide assortment. This is really up to Suzanne to decide what to do with those items. If she wants to dole some of them out to people that want something to remember me by that’s fine. Otherwise they can be sold on Ebay or donated to some charity place. Passing my love of Superman on to a kid would make my day. Makes me think of Donnell and our time together 😦
Notable Items There is a portrait of me that was done by my friend Ron a few years ago, actually there are two I just saw one of me shirtless in a mirror. Suzanne may want to keep it, if not then to whomever. I was at a party for a friend and this guy with a camera started taking photos of me. At first I didn’t think anything of it but after a while it got creepy, so I confronted the guy and he said he was a painter and wanted to paint me, he found me to be desirable and needed to get that out. So he painted me and it was pretty good, check out the link and imagine me 10 years ago lol.
Computer and tech, I own an iMac, iPad, iPhone … I like Ithings lol I’d sell them. I have content on my computer, some writings, some porn, all my photos. Suzanne is my secrete keeper so she has access to my systems if I were to pass away. You can set this up with Apple yourself, was pretty simple.
Art, there are two pieces of art in my room. One is of a guitar player who looks like the Question from DC comics and one is of a puppet with a broken heart. I liked them enough to spend money on them. They’re up for grabs, whatever Suzanne wants to do with em.
I think that’s it… not much like I said.
FINANCIAL
There is a life insurance policy through work, Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have much in savings or in checking for that matter, I lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck like a fool. There is a 401K and Roth through work too, again Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have money to leave anyone, don’t feel bad about that either.
MY FRIENDS
Many people loved me as a friend, as family. I was fortunate. Suzanne and Eric were my best friends, for 30 years or more they’ve always been there and I”m grateful.
I wasn’t the best friend I could have been I suppose. Very selfish with my time and energy and not much for crowds of people or small gatherings. I said “no” to doing something more times than I should have. I have pretended to be sick to get out of some situations.
I stole from some of you, lied to some of you, stepped on your toes, meddled where I shouldn’t have… I could go on and on. I’m human after all and made mistakes. I’ve tried to right many of them and live a better life, but sometimes I’ve made the same mistake twice. I’ve been forgiven, loved anyway and shown better ways.
Many times I made a friend out of someone I didn’t expect, I learned to love those I first wanted to shun, I adapted and adjusted to let those people in.
Thank you for taking the time and energy to get to know me. Thank you for tolerating me, loving me in spite of me and being there.
MY FAMILY
It’s complicated really, I suppose it doesn’t have to be, but it is. I consider myself of two families. One is my biological and one my foster. I got two and that makes me luckier than most.
My biological parents both died in their 50s. I don’t have much positive to say about either of them, they weren’t good examples, good parents or good. There are those who says they did the best they could could, but I don’t that’s true. I didn’t mourn them and don’t miss them.
My foster parents, my Ma and Pa, loved me unconditionally. They taught me to be responsible, independent and dependable. My Pa passed in 2008 and I bawled like a baby, it was hard for me. My Ma insists I come home every year for Christmas and she knows how much I’m not a fan of winter, so I go every year and I enjoy myself. I love my Ma.
I loved my siblings each for different reasons. I have fond memories of times we spent together. Laughter, tears, drama… all a part of it I suppose. Thanks for tolerating me and loving me.
IN CLOSING
I was just doing my taxes after receiving a notice from PayPal that I had a 1099K… which I had no idea what meant. I looked it up and saw it was in reference to some gambling I did on the Super Bowl in 2022. I placed a $100 bet on who would score the first touch down and I won $855, pretty nice… but now it’s going to take a bite out of my refund. That’s life.
My favorite book was The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, it always made me laugh no many how many times I read it. It’s quirky and odd, like me.
I loved listening to music and singing along with all the songs. My memory was always good about remembering lyrics but forgetting important things. I really liked all genres of music – but I think you’ll find the majority of the music in my iTunes library is country.
Work – I was very lucky to have a few great jobs. Some of them didn’t last more than 5 years or so but for a while it was a good job. I’m glad I got to work with Jim, one of the finest human beings on the planet. I’m glad I dipped my toe into the world of insurance. And I’m glad I got to start selling things, I kind of like it.
Thank you to everyone who interacted with me in my life. It was interesting. I am, however, glad to be gone. Did all the things I wanted too, loved all the men I wanted to, spent all the time I could bear with people. Now I’m ready to move on.
I dropped my car off this morning because the low tire pressure light kept blinking on and off and the air in the tires was fine. Been that way for about a week, but I didn’t want it to suddenly be right about a low tire and not know. I dropped it off at Christian Brothers Automotive, good company that has taken care of my car for a few years now.
I purchased the car from CarMax and bought a service plan when I bought it. When COVID struck they closed the service department at CarMax and I had to find an alternative approved location – Christian Brothers Automotive was the place. I suppose they’ve probably opened up the service department again since Covid first entered the scene, but I’m just comfortable now. It helps that Christian Brothers Automotive is close to work, whereas CarMax is a little further away.
It’s $79 just to diagnose the problem. I told them the problem, but they have to use computers or have an expert look at it I guess.
I dropped the car off at 7:30, got a ride to work from their shuttle service, but I didn’t hear from them until around 12 that my car was being looked at. It was 1:30 before I received the news of what was wrong – the left rear tire sensor stopped responding and that was causing the light to blink on and off.
Christian Brothers did a full look over of FourTwoMe (my car) and discovered some other issues.
Air Filter needs replacing Fuel System Induction needs serviced Torn lower engine mount bushing
The total to fix everything was over $1000. Which I don’t currently have. So I opted to just have them fix the broken sensor and that alone is $375. I approved the work to be done and I will schedule for the other work to get completed in a few weeks when I have a little extra cash flow.
So I waited and waited and waited and it was approaching 4:30 and I hadn’t heard from them. I was getting worried. Then I finally got a text but it was bad news:
“we had to order the sensor for you car and we have it completed tomorrow for you”
So I called the shop, “Can I pick it up tonight and drop it off again in the morning??”
Well of course not, they’ve got it all torn apart and would have to put it back together and then take it apart again…. so it’s fine.
So my next dilemma was getting home from work. How was I going to accomplish that? Well I asked a friend who I had given a ride to before that lives just 2 miles from where I do… she said no…. too tired. Whatever. Another friend volunteered, but it would be 30 minutes after my regular time to go home so I said I would if I couldn’t find something sooner. My manager volunteered, and I live way out of his way.
So the manager gave me a ride home and when I got out of his truck, I dropped my phone and didn’t notice…. until he had driven a good 15 minutes and he found my phone. ugh. Well fortunately and generously he came all the way back to give me my phone. He’s a nice guy.
It wasn’t the best day. Had a big deal fall through and all the car nonsense…. but tomorrow is another day and another chance for another sale or two.
I started a new job in June, a call center. My first time at a call center and I wasn’t sure how I’d do but I think I do ok. I like it as it keeps me busy most of the time and I love being busy, the days seem to fly by when you’re busy more than when you’re bored. There was a job not to long ago that I had where I just sat there for about 7 hours a day, hated that.
I’ve had three people at my new job comment on how I always seem to be happy and never let anything bother me. Alan said “Dude,” he says dude, who am I to argue “how do you just stay so upbeat all the time, you never let this stuff get to you.”. Brandon commented “Jamez you’re always in a good mood, I don’t know how you do it” and Farrah came out and said “You scare me, people who are happy all the time scare me. Like I wonder what you’re hiding.” Farrah and I talked a bit and I assured her I don’t have any corpses stashed under my crawlspace or in an attic somewhere and that I do have my moments where I’m not so cheery, she said she was less scared after.
These folks don’t sit next to me and hear me swear under my breath when I come across a record that wasn’t properly documented or cancelled…. and sometimes I swear not so under my breath. Nor do they ride home with me and see how mad I get at people who can’t do the speed limit as a minimum.. what’s wrong with those people and why do they even have a license?
At work I try to greet everyone with a “good morning” or a “hello” as they walk past and I happen to sit at a high traffic zone so I see a lot of folks. I also tell them good night and for some folks I say “thanks for being wonderful today” when they leave. Gives me something to do and it’s nice networking, I get to know people over time and can chat with them about other things if they run into me. Like today with Farrah, she and I chatted for a bit during a break but had I not be overly nice who knows if we would have.
I honestly am usually just ok with things. I swear, at home and on my own I’m just ok. I do suffer from anxiety and depression and take medications for those, so it might all be that I guess. It’s also some indoctrination I received from 20 odd years in Alcoholics Anonymous where they preach “fake it til you make it” and where I was taught to greet everyone before the meeting and shake hands with every single person there. After 20 years of doing something it kind of sticks.
At the new job I frequently remind myself – “I’m not a manager now”. Which seems silly I guess, but I managed a team for a good 5 years and it’s in my bones now and I can’t help but get a little frustrated when I see inefficiency or people, literally, sleeping on the job then I start to steam internally and have to stay focused on making calls. Since there are so many calls to make this keeps me occupied.
When I get home I sometimes fret/resent/repeat the day in my head and it keeps me up at night. My own errors is a big thing that bothers me, when I screw up my anxiety shoots through me and I get all uncomfortable and want to crawl in a hole. I try to not make mistakes but sometimes I get sloppy and fast and one gets made, I’m just not good on fixing it once its been done. I don’t like the feeling of failure and that just beats me up real bad in my head. So while outside I may be greeting folks and smiling – inside I’m fighting a demon of self-doubt and condemnation. It’s awful. It makes me feel like I can’t move. I can’t describe it other than that, it’s overwhelming. So I do try ever so hard not to mess up.
I do work with a good group of people and have good managers on the floor. I’m usually very busy making calls and only once in a while do I get anxious about making one and its not for a good reason, its random. Being nice and smiling helps to keep that at bay so I do it.
When I was newly sober I was called a malcontent and “that angry guy” but over the years “faking it til you make it” and just doing the next right thing helped make that image go away. My friends that have known me for decades know I’m not the happiest of guys but they love me anyway and find other qualities in me (I guess) to treasure.
I am not one to dwell on and fret about things over and over… usually. I’m not one to gush over things either. I’m kind of in the middle and just do things that seem to be the right thing to do… and at work, saying hi and trying to keep a positive attitude doesn’t hurt either.
I wasn’t always a good worker. I was young and stupid once upon a time.
One of my first jobs, at Arby’s I was insulted that they didn’t recognize how important I was in my own head. At my break they told me to hurry back as we were getting a rush. I was so offended they didn’t know how hard I had worked already that I never went back.
Factory work was the next step for me – assembly plants, plastic injection molding, silk-screen printing and furniture (fabricated wood mostly and working with glazes for sweet finishes). That was more to my liking – everyone seemed to be a drinker (like me) and I was introduced to some other fun things not to be mentioned.
I just showed up to collect the paycheck and see friends and then I’d head to the bar or home and complain, to who ever would listen, how awful my job was. Many a job was lost because I called in sick a lot, fell asleep on the job or just didn’t care.
I somehow found myself working in an office overnights at a half-way house. The secretary would ask me if I could do tasks for her and I said sure… having no idea how to actually do what she wanted. I taught myself how to use Microsoft Windows back in 1994.. amazing as that was. I found that I was actually not to bad at figuring out how to use computers for that type of thing. (more…)
There are some things I figured I wouldn’t have to teach people. Common sense things that you figure everyone would know. Or conscience things – you know so and so will pick up after themselves as they don’t want to be thought of badly.
