Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: House Of Lies

  • Company Man

    Last week marked the end of Access-Ability Consultants, Inc’s (AAC) 4th year in business. Jim and I started out in January of 2008 after being fired by an asshole (to read about our last employer and all the items leading up to us being fired, look at my archives in January – May of 2008) and we’ve managed to stick around longer than I thought we would, but not longer than Jim thought we would.

    If you didn’t know, AAC is a where I work (yes, yes, I can hear your muffled giggles). My boss, Jim, is an architect who specializes in the American’s with Disabilities Act. We help businesses (Hotels, retail stores, gas stations, colleges…) to get their buildings up to code when they are doing a remodel, a new build or if they are being sued. This can involve us looking at plans, designs and photos or having Jim (or our consultant Vera) go to a site to survey it, taking measurements and photos. We then write up a report detailing what we’ve found and send it off to the client. Generally, that’s the end of what we do, but sometimes there is hand holding and walking through step by step of each detail we found.

    We really try to have fun while we’re working. Jim gets a lot of emails from Clients and friends and he also does a lot of local volunteer work – I reluctantly help him, even though those people drive me crazy more often than not. We have a relaxed work schedule when we’re not doing client work and I encourage Jim to golf more than he does.

    We have a really great arrangement, I’ve found a job that I really love and a partner to work with who isn’t just my boss and co-worker, he’s my friend. Every day at the office we hug one another hello and goodbye, we know about one another families and we have as much fun as we can. Does this mean we don’t quarrel or swear at one another? lol, nope – we do that sometimes too.

    When we started the company we said we’d give it a try for five years and if it worked out we’d re-evaluate after that and see what we wanted to do. So here we are, we’ve started year five and everything is going swimmingly. Not sure what this year will bring, but I’m glad that I have my friend to experience it with.

    Happy Anniversary Boss! Love Ya!My Boss - My Friend

    p.s. When Jim was terminated he had to sue our old employer to get money he was owed, you can read about that here: The Lawsuit

  • The Number One Offender Is Also the Number One Reason I Can't Sleep

    Resentment. Rethink, Re-feel. It’s the three “R”s and they are not a good thing.

    You’d think that after such a long time of knowing how these things affect my mood, sleep, day or night that I would be more wiling to use the tools that I’ve been taught. But NO. Last night I was up most of the night thinking about what “they did” and how I can “get even”. I’m not even mean enough any more to do the things that came into my mind about getting even.

    It is hard to let go I guess. Hard to realize it doesn’t matter what they do or say and if I didn’t let it it couldn’t possibly affect me. I was lying in bed last night praying for God to remove the resentments so I could go to sleep, but I honestly knew that they were half-hearted prayers. I get some weird kick out of holding on to these resentments – the 12 X 12 says we exult in some of our character defects. We get off on it. This is so true for me. Praying that “that bastard gets everything he deserves” is apparently not an effective prayer.

    So it is nice that the email wasn’t sent out yesterday. Perhaps with a few prayers and meditation this morning (and a ton of coffee) we can think clearer and just let this slide off our backs. I have to remember that keeping my side of the street free from anger and the brainstorm is going to keep me sane… well saner.

    I have to remember that what the book says:

    Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. – Page 64

    I don’t want to let this guy and his company get me drunk, they are old news.

    I heard an AA talk yesterday on the way to the office (this was before the resentment flared up) and the speaker talked about being on her way out, pissed off and about to buy the bottle that would start her down the path all over again when the thought occurred to her that if she drank she’d have less time than her AA “rival” – it was funny, guess you had to hear it. Anyway, if I continue to let these things affect me so it’s possible I could have less time or that I could become the asshole that I used to be.

    God save me from being angry, this is a sick man, how may I be helpful to him…. – gritting my teeth.

  • Overruling the President, Publisher and Owner.

    Pretending to cry on the witness stand: $42,000
    Offering to settle for minuscule amounts “to avoid embarrassing Jim in front of his family”: $19,000
    Attempting to make profit on a newsletter after years of failure and studies saying it can’t be done: $100,000
    Watching you lose this case in front of your employees: PRICELESS

    The Players for the Plaintiff’s: Jim and Ana D, their children Mark and David (and Lisa in spirit), cousin Dom, the Attorney Brian, and of course me.

    The Players for the Defense: John and Ann S, their daughter Brynna, employees for the firm Lee, Monica and Kim, the Attorney’s and Paralegal.

    The Players for the Court: the Judge, the Clerk and assistants, the brilliant Jury.

    Supportive Cast: Regina, Carol, Sylvia, Vera, Kate, Gary, Rankine, and a lot of prayerful folks that never gave up hope and kept the prayers coming.

    And, as usual, the star of the show, the big G himself: God

    Brief History of the progression of the Case: John hoped to find a way to make his newsletter profitable and thought the best way was to fire Jim and not pay him money for work performed. That’s a biased point of view, and this review will be very biased as I was there and I can’t report objectively. OK, really I can, but that’s not any fun.

    Day one was pretty boring, we waited around for a judge and courtroom most of the day. Around 3:30 we were rewarded with both and then a jury was selected. The Judge I found to be very nice and professional. Shortly after the jury was picked I was told to leave as I was one of two potential witnesses on the list. I had been subpoenaed by the Defense.

    The rest of my observations (outside of my own testimony) occur from what I saw before or after each day and what I observed through the windows of the court doors or on the faces of jurors or participants of the case.

    I sent brief updates to D family members on day one and one of the recipients asked for more information on what everyone was wearing so I happily obliged on Day 2:

    “Jim, Ana, David, Mark, Dom (Jim’s cousin), Brian (the attorney) and I are here and looking sharp. Jim, Brian and I are in black suits with soft colors accented by striking ties. Ana Maria is looking lovely in her stylish ensemble and black throw.

    John, Ann, and lawyers are here as well. They all look grumpy to me. John is wearing a grayish suit and his lawyers are also in black suits with dull colored shirts. Ann is wearing a black sweater over an embroidered shirt and slacks.

    Members of the jury are in the waiting room with all of us.”

    and

    “His lawyers can best be described as the frumpy one with bed head and the escaped circus act guy with the shaved head. At least our guy is handsome and has good hair.”

    I watched Jim being questioned by his attorney and then later by the opposing counsel and all I could tell about anything was that Jim remained calm through what I could see. His testimony was I think over 2 hours.

    Later, I was called by Brian the attorney for Jim and was asked several questions. I was very nervous, which is silly as I had prayed a lot and only told the truth, but I was shaking up there. On the redirect John’s attorney asked me about my resentment towards John and I said that it was still there and I was still praying about it, both of which are true.

    After my testimony the Plaintiff’s side rested and lunch was called.

    Kim was called for the Defense and wasn’t up there very long… it was the end of day two the Plaintiff’s side appeared very upbeat and the Defendants were all rather down trodden looking… some (maybe even me) were pretty sure we had won outright, but I knew there was still the next day for court.

    “Jim and Brian are once again in darksuits with pleasant ties. I realized this was the last business day before labor day and am wearing off white slacks and shirt with a purple patterned tie. Ana looks simply stunning and has repeated the black throw look from yesterday – she has enough style to pull it off.

    John’s attorneys, the frumpy one with bedhead and the escaped circus freak with the shaved head, are in dark suits but common ties. John appears to be wearing the same drab gray suit he wore yesterday. Ann and Brynna are both wearing pleasant outfits.

    Spectators that are here today include Lee, John’s wife and daughter, Jim’s wife and son David.”

    Today’s testimony started around 9:00 and I had my Ipod with me, the day before I had tried to read from my Kindle but couldn’t concentrate, so I put an AA speaker pod cast on and relaxed the hours away. Today was John’s turn on the stand and he was up there a long time just like Jim. There was at least one break during his testimony and he came out looking all smug so I glared at him as best I could… Jim’s lawyer finally got to redirect and they were up there even longer… then before I knew it it was lunch and they were coming out. Ana came out first and she didn’t look happy at all.

    John came out and looked at me and said with his evil smile: “It’s over.” He and Ana were near the restrooms and he told her “I’m sorry that you had to be embarrassed that way Ana..” or something and she had a not too lady like retort… you go girl! At lunch the attorneys had administrative duties with the Judge about jury instructions and I heard from our side some doubts about how we did today. I continued to tell folks that it wasn’t over until the fat lady sang and we had to wait for the jury to return a verdict. We all said our prayers tried to turn it over to God.

    We returned to the court, the Judge instructed the jury on law, the verdict rules and evidence. Then Brian gave his closing statement and I heard all kinds of things that I knew and agreed with of course I’m on his side.

    Then the Defense guy went up there and I heard him tell outright lies and fabrications about Jim and our company and it was a very difficult thing to sit through. I am almost glad that I didn’t have to sit through the actual trial it would have been hard to listen to this slander all day. I don’t know how Jim’s family managed to not burst out in anger at some of it.

    A law in Maryland gives our side a chance at a last rebuttal at the Defenses closing arguments and he did.

    The jury was excused around 3:20 and we waited. At 4:52 we were informed that the jury had a verdict and we all filed into the court.

    They found for Jim and it was just a huge relief and I’m glad that this part of the battle is over. Now there will likely be some legal wrangling from John’s side, but I’m hopeful the ruling will stand based on rulings of the Judge and the verdict of the jury.

    I was in the middle of this particular dispute during it and it was hell then, these three days of trial were also very unpleasant… but the verdict, victory and vindication make it all worth while.

    All told: $206,670 plus the right to argue attorneys fees (that’ll be in a motion later). If the argument is won on attorney’s fees it will apply to any and all appeals that are won by Jim’s side.

    some math below
    Originally owed to Jim, $161,200
    Jury states he now owes $206,670
    that’s $45,470 more

    Plus his own attorney fees, possibly Jim’s attorney fees, lets assume approximately $300,000

    his staff sitting in court all day not doing billable work? well I’m not sure how much that also costs him.

    He should have just paid the amounts owed from the get go but he got very greedy.

  • Never Quite What I Expected

    This was quite possibly the oddest year I’ve ever had. I started out the year surrounded by a host of friends supporting me during a small crisis and ended up the year with a host of friends surrounding me during a major crisis. I’ve been very fortunate to have such good friends, family and mentors in my life… and this year it paid off.

    First, the list of Favorite Things of 2008
    Movie: The Dark Knight (Heath Ledger was spectacular and it was a great comic book story)
    Album: Evolver (John Legend) – if you buy any album this year, buy this one
    Video Game: World of Warcraft – Wrath of the Litch King (I am getting a bit bored with the game, it’s been my favorite for 4 or 5 years now)
    TV Show: CSI – lots of changes over at CSI this year, not sure if I’ll like it after all the changes are done but I’m trying to remain open minded.
    Airline: Northwest/Delta – the way they helped me in November was just beyond what I expected – Kudos to them
    Coffee Pot: I got a new one, Cuisinart and it’s the best.. I bought one for Lisa it’s that good
    Gadget: Kindle – electronic books I love this thing and I have a ton of books on it.
    Web page: Facebook – dang this thing is addicting and fun

    As per usual, every Sunday morning if we are in DC – Mark, Robert and i have breakfast somewhere before our Sunday meeting. Annie’s changed their menu this fall so we are currently looking for a new place to eat – we may have found one after much searching.

    I started out the year following up on quitting my job, I had made the decision to quit back in November of 07, and events that happened in December just made me want to hurry out that much sooner. I gave notice, a months notice and told them I’d be happy to help them out for a while until my replacement was settled in. Then I was fired the following week (yes Gary fired). They locked me out of my work station and wiped my Blackberry clean. I was resentful for a while, but most of it got out in my blog and I felt better.

    Jim DiLuigi (who was also fired, but in December) and I wasted no time, but started up Access-Ability Consultants, Inc and have been working steadily since. Its a nice arrangement and we have a lot of fun. This year we made a profit, so that’s a very good thing. We have lots of very busy days and lots of days where we have time for Charlie to send jokes or to find cheap things for Jim to buy at Heartland America. Jim is the Treasurer for Historic Takoma which provides plenty of work for both of us, but doesn’t actually pay the bills 😉

    One of the nicer things about working with Jim is his family. As a result of the new company I’ve been fortunate to get to know some very special people better than I had a chance to know them before: Ana Maria, Lisa (and Rankine), David (and Regina), Mark (and Kate) and Jim’s Mom and brother as well. I will let you know that it got a little tense during some of the political circus this year as the DiLuigi family are not all the same political party… it was fun to see some of the back and forth banter.

    I’ve tried dating this year, been on several dates with several men … yes, JUST dates. There have been some promising candidates, but I’m not going to settle for less than I deserve, why would I want to. I’m still looking and its been a lot of fun. wish me luck.

    The cats (Q and Mouse) are fine, though Q has some kind of psychological disorder – or i assume so cause the Xrays found nothing ($338 later) to tell why he wont poop in the box.

    This was a high school year, not just the faux high school reunion, I also spent time with Eric and Kelly here in DC, and then Eric and I had a great weekend at the Renaissance Fair and Baltimore this fall. Ted, Eric, Rick, Jeff, Tim… hell a ton of folks are on Facebook, so I know what’s going on in their daily lives.

    I took several trips this year.

    In April Suzanne and I spent a weekend in NY (NJ and NY really) and besides someone breaking into her car (they didn’t steal anything, and the Ipod I had bought her for Christmas was in the Jeep – we think they were looking for the GPS) we had a great time. I saw my first play on Broadway – Young Frankenstein. I heard alot about Paul (Suzanne’s fiance) this weekend, but I didn’t get a chance to meet him until December. Suzanne’s dog Destiny had been very old at this point and Suzanne had her put to sleep, it was sad.

    In May I took a trip for my AA birthday (14) I went to Ft Lauderdale, but didn’t have quite as much fun as I normally do (read what you want into that).

    In June I took my first trip to Wisconsin for Scooters going away party. He graduated high school and took off for basic training. It’s always nice to spend time with Pat and Brenda and I, of course drove down to see Ma, Pa and Rhonda in Galesville and also visited Jim’s daughter in Nashville – that was very enjoyable it was nice to spend time with Lisa, her husband Rankine and their dogs Daisy and Buddy. so of course I missed gay pride in DC again… nothing new there.

    In July I took another trip to WI, this time for my pseudo 20 year reunion. Just a few of us decided to meet up and reminisce. It was a trip to see Rosy, Ted, Eric and Jen again. I hope we do it often. It was very nice and I stayed at Ma and Pa’s for 4 days I think. I got back and the next night went to see George Michael perform at the Verizon Center with Mark and Robert – I don’t much care for concerts so that’ll likely be my last one.

    In August, Pat, Brenda and Anna (Scooters girlfriend) came to DC to visit Scooter after Basic and then make me play tour guide… they had fun torturing me. In August a friend, John Dunn, died, it was sudden, unexpected and sad. He was one of the nicest people I ever met here in DC, he was mourned by many across the area.

    In October Jim and I finalized plans to take a trip to Cancun in November, I invited my good friend Brenda to go with me and then gave her a hard time every other day. One day I called and told her that the passport number she gave me was listed as invalid… she turned the car around and headed home… then I told her I was fibbin… she swore then. lol

    So of course the day my Pa died in November (15th) I called her as she was about to board the commuter plane to come to DC for the trip to Cancun and at first she didn’t believe me … don’t cry wolf.

    My Pa dying was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to live through. I cried like I had never cried before and I still miss him. I hope that I will always miss him. I get teary and sad off an on since I found out. I don’t really want to talk about it here… again… I miss my Pa. I am trying to be a better son, trying to be a better brother by staying more in touch with Ma and Rhonda… and as a result I’m trying to be a healthier person also. I had so much support from friends when this happened, and I am so very grateful that they were there and I hope I can be there for them if a similar situation occurs.

    In December I spent 5 days for my birthday in San Diego, exploring, playing tourist and relaxing. It was the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to go back.

    The weekend before Christmas I went to Suzanne’s, met her fiance Paul and her new dog Farley. We had a lovely visit.

    That was my year, it went by entirely too fast, but overall it was a good year. The people (salads and dogs) that have moved on this year made me into the person I am today – which is a good thing.

    If you want to know full on details about anything that was written above, try looking at my blog: http://mrjamezq.blogspot.com almost everything that happened this year to me was documented.

    I hope you all have a lovely year and I hope that I may get to share just a tiny fraction of yours with you.

    love

    jamez

  • Dear John

    Dear John,

    I wanted to take this opportunity during the Thanksgiving season to thank you for all you’ve done for me this year. By firing me you opened a chain of events that have led to me being in a place that actually makes me want to go into the office. I’m so much happier than I was at your Newspaper busi… oh wait, your House Tour company… no… what was it you do again? I forget.

    A few small items come to mind:
    1. My new office is much closer to the Metro so I have less distance to walk in the cold
    2. Everyone in the office has a sense of humor
    3. Our company doesn’t produce newsletters
    4. Everyone has a relaxed work schedule, not just the 55 y/o obsessive compulsive types

    The company that we started this year has allowed us to eliminate from our work schedules: meetings about meetings, meetings about the results of meetings about meetings, quarterly meetings about whatever hair was up your butt that quarter, preparing documents for your house tour sideline, and listening to your paranoid ramblings. All of this free time has given us the opportunity to actually serve Clients needs, which they’ve really come to appreciate. That’s an idea you should maybe steal.

    Thank you for this Stress, Meeting, Asshole, Repetitive and Tyrant free year that I’ve had (that’s a S.M.A.R.T. Goal for you).

  • Why We CC Your Boss

    For two reasons actually, the first reason is because he always talked about how incredibly lazy you had become and we want to point out to him that this is indeed still true and the second reason is we want you to do the work and know if we don’t cc your boss, chances are you’ll be too busy sighing and surfing the net to do the work.

  • How to tell if You’re an Asshole

    Your employee buys you a book titled The No Asshole Rule
    You read said book and see the included survey
    You hand out survey to your staff to fill out “anonymously”
    You receive the results and then tell the employee that it was an interesting survey and perhaps every year he should be surveyed
    You then hand your employee a list of ways to improve the survey

    You approach your staff about doing residential work
    Your Office Manager points out that no members of your staff are interested in doing residential work
    You doubt your Office Manager, but agree to take a survey at the next staff meeting
    Survey results show your staff are indeed not interested in doing residential work
    You admit defeat at that staff meeting and say you were not aware
    Two weeks later you call a meeting to show your staff how the company can do residential work

    You decide to recognize a design drawing that was developed by your partner
    You want to present an award to him that shows the company’s appreciation
    When you present the framed drawing you’ve made “improvements” to it

    And the most important, clearly defined, glaring way to tell:

    You insist your staff set S.M.A.R.T. goals for themselves
    Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely
    Even pointing out the importance of such goals at strategic planning meetings
    Yet after 15 unsuccessful years of plans, schemes and faulty dreams
    You still think you can make a profit from your newsletter

  • Journalism – edited

    I wrote for my very first newspaper in high school, I created an advice column called: Dear Zeus which was a humorous advice column, but so popular that it ended up talked about in our graduating year yearbook. I tried to keep answers light especially if the question was silly (For example, one person wrote in: “Why do females travel to the bathroom in pairs?” my answer: “Group Therapy”).

    My second foray into journalism was at my job working at the drug and alcohol treatment center. I created a weekly newsletter for the staff and residents that contained information about recovery, upcoming social events, rules for the residence and announcing birthdays and such. Every issue also contained a small paragraph about something that was on my mind at the time in regards to sobriety/recovery. It was a well received newsletter and residents and staff looked forward to its publication every week.

    During my 5 years at DC’s Children’s Hospital I implemented a weekly HIV Services update email, giving information about Staff, interviews, upcoming events, new arrivals or departures. It always contained humor and was well regarded.

    If I put my mind to it, I bet I could start another newsletter that talked about my current work and how that affects others. It couldn’t be that hard – just find some contributers who want to write articles, put some blurbs of products and news items and try to write a little something that would be interesting to alot of people on the front page.

    Journalism is my thing.

    EDIT:
    If I did create a newsletter and wrote an article admitting that I was wrong 20 years ago… I’d certainly expect at least one friend/colleague to write a letter to the Editor criticizing me for being so dense that it took me 20 years to admit a mistake…

    but I guess maybe that’s just me.

  • Death of a Thousand Cuts

    I found this on Wiki and it seems oddly appropriate for what’s been happening:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_slicing
    Slow slicing (simplified Chinese: 凌迟; traditional Chinese: 凌遲; pinyin: língchí, alternately transliterated Ling Chi or Leng T’che), also translated as the slow process, the lingering death, or death by/of a thousand cuts, was a form of execution used in China from roughly AD 900 to its abolition in 1905. The term língchí derives from a classical description of ascending a mountain slowly.The process involved tying the person to be executed to a wooden frame, usually in a public place. The flesh is then cut from the body in very small pieces. Often drugs were administered throughout the process to keep the victim from dying.The punishment works on three levels: as a form of public humiliation, as a slow and lingering death, and as a punishment after death. According to the Confucian principle of filial piety or xiaoto alter one’s body or to cut the body is a form of unfilial paractice. Lingchitherefore contravenes the demands of xiao. In addition, to be cut to pieces meant that the body of the victim would not be ‘whole’ in a spiritual life after death.

    Who knew he was planning to shoot himself in the foot at the same time as he was being sliced? Go figure.

  • The Question On Everyones Mind

    “So, Jamez…” they say, “I’ve been reading your blog and was wondering if you’ve been unemployed since January.”

    No actually. I haven’t been unemployed all year, well half a day I guess…

    Jim started up his own company and I’ve gone to work for him, doing the same things we did at the last place.

    Its been very interesting, setting up an office, choosing furniture, computers, supplies. There are so many things you just take for granted in an established company that slip your mind. Who do you get for your internet service provider, what phone plan… it’s been crazy.

    Jim is known and trusted by so many clients he just kept on working. Several clients since have asked to have their files, photos, and such transferred over to the new company which is keeping us very busy. The big client from the last job recently divvied up the jobs between the two firms, the old company with three surveyors in the office got 20 properties, and us… with one surveyor, 15, so I think we made out alright.

    We’re meeting our financial goals for the company, doing volunteer work for organizations that Jim has been involved with for years and generally having a good time. There are no newsletters, no meetings to renumber all the files (we went alphabetically A comes before B you know), no wet blanket entering the room – ruining the fun.

    So things continue to look up, clients continue to come in and if all goes well, it would be nice to hire more people by the end of the year (and according tour our financial plan, we could actually do that soon).

    So there you have it, life goes on and not much has changed at all in my life. I pray, when the resentment gets to strong, for that certain someone to get better. And I pray all the time for the people that are left with him, they certainly need it.

    In the meantime, I’ll try to focus on the more positive aspects of life and try to let go of some of my anger. So look here to see how we’re doing with the company, our growth plans and any thing else that comes up that’s entertaining.