Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Gay

  • Forgotten Faces Unforgotten Fears

    I cannot recall how he looked, his image has faded from my mind, if only the memories would fade as easily. He shattered my childhood and helped shape the way I view men today. The seduction and molestation changed my life forever.

    If he walked up to me today would his face be remembered? Would it bring back to consciousness the shame, the demoralization, the guilt? Would I feel hate? Disgust? Would I feel at all?

    Would he know me today, would he remember the day in court when my finger pointed at him and I spoke his name? Does he feel sorry for the acts of rape he inflicted upon children of all ages? Does he feel remorse?

    Does God forgive all men? If so, should I?

  • Surprising Questions and Nasty Aroma's

    On my way into a meeting Friday night my best friend called.

    “Want to go to a gay bar?” She asks.

    My straight, married, SOBER, best friend. But, sure why not, lets go check out the local guys.

    This nights events were much better than my last experience at The Garage where the men were the cause of sore eyes. However, besides the fact that they were young and hairless at this bar(except for a few scary looking guys) I ended up smelling of smoke.

    The smoke from the bar clung to everything, it was nasty. The smell was on my hands, on my jacket, everywhere… the cats even retracted in disgust when I arrived home.

    The next day my jacket still reeked of smoke… nasty, nasty habit…. glad I’m rid of it.