Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Family

  • Dream Date

    Last night I slept the entire night right up to the point where the alarm clock started it’s insistent beeping at me. The cat was even kind enough to let me sleep, it was a miracle… someone call the Vatican. I also remembered my dreams, at least one of them – which is not always the case.

    I had a boyfriend (yes, this is how we can tell it’s a dream). A nice boyfriend (this is how we know I was still feverish from the flu). Mystery boyfriend, who unfortunately kept his clothes on during the dream, didn’t appear to be my type at all. Not just because he was nice, though that’s a big indicator, but because his physical characteristics (skinny, clean shaven, smiling) weren’t what I normally look for in a guy.

    In the dream we interacted with my family, read comics books and took a long walk before sitting together in the family room snuggled up together. It was peaceful and pleasing. I was really having a nice time with the guy and everyone seemed to like him – not that that should matter at all, but it does I guess.

    Kind of a pointless story I know. “Jamez had a dream, film at 11”.

    I think it kind of reawakened the idea of having someone in my life again. I had written that off recently and wasn’t sure I was at all interested in pursuing anything that would last more than a night… or two minutes, how ever long he lasted. I don’t want to get married tomorrow, next month or next year – but I wouldn’t mind having someone to lean against in a movie theater, coffee house or in the pool.

    It was just a dream though, I’ll probably die an old spinster.

  • Cotton – 8/95 – 10/11

    My best friend Suzanne received word from her ex-husband Randy last weekend that their dog Cotton was failing in health and might need to be helped along her journey soon. That day came to pass yesterday.

    Cotton was probably my favorite dog of all time.

    A Westie (West Highland White Terrier) with an attitude, hell for all I know all Westie’s have attitude. She was so sure she was the toughest dog on the block, she didn’t back away from danger and barked at any little creatures (children) fiercely.

    I was fortunate enough to dog sit for Suzanne and Randy more than a few times over the years and Cotton was always the best behaved of the dog. At bed time she’d crawl under the blankets and sleep right between your legs, and you weren’t to move, she was comfortable. When you’d pet her she’d be so content, and if you’d dare to stop she’d paw at you until you started again. I’m certain that if it were possible for her to she would have purred like a cat during those times.

    I always gave all of Suzanne’s dogs love and attention, but I’d go out of my way for Cotton, she was the best. She could look at you with the saddest puppy eyes that said “Don’t Club Me” and you’d feel so sorry for her, even though she was spoiled rotten.

    She was Daddy’s girl really, she would go wherever Daddy was and just sit there with him for hours, and if the door was shut she’d whine until she could be with him. In these later years in life her Daddy would carry her on his shoulder with him and you know she was in heaven during those moments.

    In 2008 when my Pa died Suzanne couldn’t come to the funeral but she called Randy and had him bring Cotton down for me and it really meant the world to me to have that little girl there for me to get love. Cotton always made every person she loved feel like they were the most important human in the world. I’m a little teary right now thinking about the little angel.

    She was a good girl and I’ll miss being able to see her when I visit Wisconsin. Last night she joined her sister Destiny and her brother Rocky. Cotton, love and miss you.

  • If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes

    In spite of knowing better and having lived in a home where I was fed real meals with meats, vegetables, milk and bread and butter – when I finally lived on my own my main meal almost every day was an entire sausage and pepperoni pizza. A standard 12 inch Tombstone or Roma’s pizza, cooked in the oven for 18 minutes until golden brown on top.  Not that I didn’t eat other things, I did. Like bowls of cereal, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, burgers from a burger joint (and later in life steaks from a restaurant) or if I got to Ma’s for dinner or lunch whatever she would happen to be cooking if I liked it.  Ask anyone who knows me pretty well – I’m a picky eater. I don’t like sauces and dressings generally and am not a big fan of cooked vegetables.

    Despite my careless eating habits and lack of physical exertion, I never really got big or chunky (well there was the first summer at Ma and Pa’s where I put on a belly but it didn’t take) and I could have probably fit into the same pants that I wore when I was 16 at 24.

    Then in 2005 I did two things that changed all that

    1. I quit smoking
    2. I went back to school for a year

    Suddenly I was twenty (20) pounds heavier and my pants and shirts were tight. Worst of all? the start of man boobs, moobies as some like to call them. I haven’t needed a manzier, but I could see they were threatening to become a little more than I was interested in having. Moobies are something I don’t find attractive on men and it would be silly of me to have something that I didn’t like seeing on others you know.

    When I was in school (and sometimes on weekends within the last few years) there were days when I’d start the day with coffee a bowl of cereal and a couple hours later have a pizza for lunch, followed sometimes by a pizza for dinner. I’d follow that up with day long World of Warcraft marathons only moving from the computer to grab water or a snack (candy, ice cream, cereal).

    One Tombstone pepperoni and sausage pizza has the following Nutritional “value”:

    Amount Per Serving                         
    Calories 1635                                    Calories from Fat 736
                                                                  Percent Daily Value*
    Total Fat 81.7g                                  126%
    Saturated Fat 30.4g                          152%
    Cholesterol 156mg                             52%
    Sodium 3944mg                                164%
    Total Carbohydrates 152.9g            51%
    Dietary Fiber 10.6g                            42%
    Protein 71.8g                                       42%
    Vitamin A                                             36%
    Calcium                                                 89%
    *Based on a 2000 Calorie Diet

    Two of those pizzas a day was a lot of bad, especially when you think that I wasn’t doing anything to counter act all the bad that was there.

    So in the working world life changed a little bit. I’d start out the day with coffee and cereal, get to the 7-11 by the office grab two cinnamon twists and two bottles of chocolate milk and maybe a candy bar, then eat burger or pizza or fast food of some kind with the boss before heading home where for dinner I’d have a pizza and a bowl of ice cream – and sometimes finish the night with a bowl of cereal.  Every day pretty much, unless the housemate was cooking dinner then I’d eat whatever that might be (poor guy’s a great cook, but is limited to cook what I’ll actually eat).

    Besides the slowly growing moobies – the waistline kept expanding, the belly seemed to protrude a bit more than I’d like and the cholesterol has been high for probably a decade now. My biological parents were both heavy (Phillip was a football player in high school and Cheryl had my eating habits and aversion to exercise) so deep down in my mind I think I’m destined to be bigger. Suddenly the twenty pounds heavier was 35, 36 and 37…

    If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes… So what changed. Hell I don’t know…. oh I remember… I was having issues pooping – yes, too much information I know… and the doctor suggested I try to eat more fiber and I actually LIKE my doctor so I started to read about fiber and started to make minor changes in my diet.

    Every morning now the bowl of cereal is raisin bran (lots of fiber). Instead of the donuts and chocolate milk from the 7-11 it’s two bottles of orange juice and sunflower seeds and almonds. Tried to get the housemate to include vegetables that I like in meals he cooks (corn, green beans, peas, broccoli, cauliflower). Sometimes dinner is a bowl of raisin bran and a handful of nuts. And every night I try to eat an apple.  That’s a lot of change for me and my diet let me tell you – and I’m not perfect at it and sometimes I’ll still have a burger or yes, a pizza… hush, I said I wasn’t perfect.

    So slowly my body started to change, but not fast enough so I spent a little cash on a personal trainer and things got a little faster, but not super speed. Apparently dieting and exercise isn’t instant – who knew? The personal trainer and I are doing a lot of things that will never be useful in the real world – push ups, pull ups, lifting weights, curls, this that – but it’s certainly made my arms and chest a little firmer. I’ve also noticed that my nipples are kind of going off to the side now – which I think is really weird – shouldn’t these things point out front? I’ll have to ask someone who knows more than I know about these kinds of things.

    Throw in some cardio classes, keep walking about a mile and a half a day, and up with the fiber and healthier foods and we’ll see what happens to me. It’s not something I had planned on doing and I don’t know how it’ll all work out (the first week back to the gym I hurt my leg and was on crutches for a week – still hurts every now and then too) but it’s probably a step in the right direction.

  • Happy Birthday Ryan

    My little brother Ryan turns 38 today.. I’m three years older than him.

    When I see him at this age it’s always a little bit of a shock. I have an image of him from when we were kids that always comes to the forefront when I picture him – it’s nothing like he looks now. But if you think about it, we spent a lot of time together in our youth and much less time as adults, so it’s probably the way it’s supposed to be. But it’s still strange to see this grown man where I expect the boy to be.

    Where I was always interested in books, imagination and superheros – Ryan loved engines, muscles and girls. I remember him always being the center of attention for girls, having greasy hands from helping Dad (Step-Dad #1) with a car or some other thing I wanted nothing to do with.

    I could always usually beat him in wrestling by getting him in some hold and not letting go until he said uncle. He could always beat me in arm wrestling though. He’d always be faster then me in tag which frustrated me so much one time I grabbed something close by and pitched it at him as hard as I could – surprisingly my aim was right on – he had to go get stitches. Once, knowing he might win a fight I feigned that his attack had blinded me and got about 5 minute of sympathy before admitting I was just joshing everyone.

    So today he’s 38. A grown man with a grown child of his own. Still the guy that flirts with girls and is up to his elbows in engine grease. To me though, he’ll always be the little kid I couldn’t catch in tag, the little brother that more often than not I shared a room with growing up.

    Happy Birthday Ryan!

    My "Little" Brother
  • What if everything changed?

    The boss is talking retirement, the roommate (landlord) is talking about moving (once his Mom passes on) – well so what? Love my boss and my roommate, consider them family, but I’m ready to go too.

    It would actually be a pretty cool thing if these two things happened in conjunction and it forced me to change too. It would force me to look at my life as it stands now and see what I’d like to do with the rest of it – however long that may be.

    With the whole world out there and I can choose to do anything I want, that seems pretty exciting doesn’t it? Warmer climate? school? menial labor? sure I don’t care any of those would be fine

     

  • Postcards

    When I first started traveling to places outside my usual locale my best friend Pat asked me several times to send him post cards from those destinations. So occasionally I would get as far as purchasing a post card at that destination but then forgetting to send it out until I returned to DC and sometimes I’d pack it in a bag and bring it to him when I’d go to WI. He said that was missing the whole point of post cards as they need to be sent from the origination point of the vacation.

    Galesville WI - "Home"
    "Home"

    I’ve gotten a lot better at it over the years and added quite a few people to the recipient list for post cards. I think on average I sent out sixteen cards to folks all over the US (and sometimes Canada) per trip.

    San Diego Card
    San Diego Card

    When I first began I’d usually make it home before the card reached my roommate, which I found disappointing. Its taught me to find post cards and mail them out on the same day and then they can arrive before I am done with my vacation.

    Winnipeg

    Sometimes if I will be at a fabulous destination, like Maui or Winnipeg? , and I know I’ll be sending out about 30 cards I’ll even print mailing labels to save my hands writing that many addresses.

    My friends and family tell me they love receiving the cards and I do try to find cards that are a little unique for them to enjoy. It’s really hard to find post cards in some small towns – Galesville, WI for example where I think I got lucky the small pharmacy had a few. Every once in a while I’ll get a post card from one of them and discover they too have been to a far away place and that place might even appeal to me.

    The post cards I’ve added to this post are from ones I’ve sent to my roommate in the last few years – I’ve destroyed the ones from trips to San Antonio for various reasons. This last one is one of my favorites from a recent trip back to Wisconsin.

    Wisconsin Porn Industry Thriving
  • Too Long Gone

    God I really think I spent too much time in WI recently, Mouse (the cat) would agree with that statement. It’s just really nice to be home in my own bed, with my own shower. *contented sigh*

    Even though I had been in WI only three days before (for a funeral) on Friday I found myself flying back again for my summer trip. Let me tell you the cat was not happy when I pulled out the suitcase again so early after I had put it away – I was scowled at the whole time I packed.

    Big Dreams
    Charlie ready for races

    I had a rather uneventful flight to Minneapolis on Delta followed by a 2 hour van ride to Eau Claire where Pat and Brenda picked me up and drove me to the Eau Claire airport to pick up a rental car… yes, I know that seems silly. I immediately drove to the local Taco John’s and had three soft shell tacos then called Ma and told her I was on my way to Galesville – she let me know supper would be ready about the time I got there… ooops. I arrived home and everyone was there already: Ma, Rhonda, Ken, Uncle Rick, Sheila, Michael, Cory, Danielle and of course my grand nephew Charlie.

    I had a nice weekend at Ma’s that included seeing two old friends from the area that I hadn’t seen in person in over twenty years. I also spent good quality time with everyone at the Trempealeau County Fair Demolition Derby where Michael ran two vehicles in two heats and Cory was there in his capacity of volunteer fireman. Luckily it had cooled off for the demos as it had been pretty hot during the day Saturday.

    Here are a couple videos from the Demolition Derbys:

    The above is from the Lawn Mower Demos – which was too funny

    The above is my nephew Michael in the 85 truck at the Demos

    My Nephew Cory
    My Nephew Cory the Fireman

    As redneck and hick as it seems, I actually enjoyed myself at the demos… don’t tell anyone.

    Tuesday I left Ma’s and spent most of the day with Dawn, Ryan and Amy at Amy’s house. We ate, played games, reminisced and generally had a good time. That night I drove Ryan to Eau Claire before checking into my hotel for the night.

    Wednesday the highlight of the day was seeing Captain America with Pat. We both really liked it especially after the credits. I think it was the best superhero movie of the year even though it was the least appealing to me in the previews.

    Thursday included a Big Book meeting thankfully… I needed that.

    Friday was the first day of the Chippewa Valley Roundup and we heard a good speaker from Anchorage Alaska who kept us entertained while he shared his experience strength and hope. It was also great to see all the Eau Claire Pacific Group folks that I don’t usually get to see too often.

    Saturday I spent the morning with my friend Tina at the spa, each of us received wonderful treatments and then we went off to lunch. Spending time with Tina is always nice, she helps me keep things in perspective. That night we were off to the Round Up again for another speaker and more fellowship. We were also shown a skit before the speaker that was based on CSI that had a few of my friends in it – rather funny stuff.

    Sunday was there before you knew it and we (Pat, Brenda and I) had breakfast with Sammantha before they drove me to the airport and bid me adieu. I arrived there so early that I managed to get a pedicure in the new mini spa that opened up there… that was nice.

    Arriving home on Sunday night was nice…. Home, really happy to be there.

  • Summer Funeral

    So Grandma passed away on Monday the 11th and I flew home on Wednesday before in case the service was Thursday or Friday and stayed for the weekend. I rented a car from the Minneapolis airport and found myself in line behind the Stockholm Sweden girls team – NO I didn’t take pictures, they were just taking a long time, and no I don’t know what sport, just that they were annoyingly slow in my way. I drove from the airport directly to the most important destination – Taco Johns. Partly because I don’t know how to get to my friends house unless I go through Eau Claire and party cause I love Taco John’s tacos. I think I arrived at Pat and Brenda’s about 10:00 Wednesday night.

    Thursday morning both Pat and Brenda had departed for work and I paid attention to their two dogs before going to Taco Johns for an early lunch. After lunch I walked around downtown Eau Claire, taking photos and doing some shopping, then I stopped for an hour and got a new tattoo on my back (much cheaper in Eau Claire than it is in DC) that says “ZEUS”.

    Then I went to JC Penny’s where I briefly pretended to be interested in window dressings so I could visit with my niece Samantha – always great to see the nieces. Then I went off to Macy’s to do a bit of shopping and found a LOVELY woman, Trudy, who was both entertaining and helpful there. Trudy was one day shy of working at that store for twenty years, and was simply amazing – she sized me up just by looking at me and was pulling out shirts, jackets and slacks faster than I could react. Good customer service and a very nice person.

    Then I headed back to Chippewa Falls to get ready before the Big Meeting – real AA, not that watered down stuff I see here in DC. I was called up during the meeting to share some experience strength and hope as were a few others – my friend Nicholas joked that I must have been the token female called up as everyone was a guy that shared. After the meeting a bunch of guys headed to Perkins, I tagged along and had a bite as well – it’s a nice bit of fellowship.

    Friday I had lunch with a new friend, Jimmy, before heading down to Whitehall for the funeral. It rained most of the day and when I left Eau Claire it was coming down pretty hard. Whitehall is my old stomping grounds, where I attended most of my grade school years and several of my drinking years – it’s always nice to go back and visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there again. I found the Baptist Church easily enough – I don’t even remember us having one back when I was a kid, but there it was right in the back yard of a house where my ex-fiance and my biological father once lived (stories for another time).

    I went in the church and soon discovered my sister Dawn, uncle Joey and aunt Ginger and with them some giant of a lad that I was introduced as a cousin – much to young to be that tall. Soon other relatives would arrive: Amy (sister), Becky (cousin), Ryan (brother), Debbie (aunt) and a whole bunch of folks I’m supposed to know but really have no memory of. Before the service we shared a few memories and caught up a bit – Facebook helps with that stuff but it’s nice to get the little details in person.

    The service was short, not a lot of preaching by the preacher, but he was pretty to look at. Then there was an open mike where anyone could get up and share memories of Grandma. My sister Amy led that followed by Dawn – it was nice that they both brought to my mind times I had forgotten, like listening to old radio shows on cassette tapes (Lone Ranger is the only show I can remember off hand, but there were tons of those), making sock puppets, and writing letters to the editor of the local newspaper. There was some bad singing – mostly because church songs are so boring musically add that to tone deaf singers and well disaster. After the service there were sandwiches, crackers, desserts and drinks before we headed to the cemetery where the VFW was waiting to help us put Grandma in the ground – Grandma was a WAVE during the war and after they gave a 21 gun salute and played Taps (I think it’s Taps correct me if I’m wrong) they gave Grandma’s oldest a folded up flag for her service. That was pretty emotional for all parties involved. In the city of Whitehall my phone only had a good signal in the cemetery – weird. Then we all headed back to the church for a bit before dispersing – I led one of my cousins that I don’t really know to the outskirts of Galesville before heading to my Ma’s.

    At Ma’s I got to spend time with her, my sister Rhonda and here husband Greg, my nephews Michael and Cory and Cory’s wife Danielle. And of course Charlie, my incredibly smart, gifted and cute grand nephew. He’s just such a bundle of fun, and at 2 years of age pretty damn smart I’d say. After everyone had left and it was just Ma, Michael and I it was near enough to bed time that I hit the hay and slept until 5:00 or some ungodly hour and struggled to stay asleep but really – once I’m up, I’m up. Saturday Rhonda, Greg and I went out thrift saling in the Holmen/Onalaska area and before we knew it the day had passed us by and we were back home for some pork from the grill, potatoes from the garden and good conversation. Ma’s recuperating from her knee replacement quickly and everyone seems to be eating healthier or at least less than normal.

    Sunday I took Ma to church where I found there was another preacher that was good eye candy. He preached on ACTS and laws of God and man and sticking to the message, whatever that message might be – at least that’s what I heard. At the service was one of my high school English teachers and I thanked her for being one of the teachers that introduced me to what I love. After the service Ma and I went to breakfast before I left for Eau Claire.

    I stopped at the Whitehall Cemetery to visit Pa and see his stone – which was recently put in. I talked to him for a bit and cried a little bit just thinking about him, missing him and wishing he was still here. When I come home I can still see bits and pieces of him around the house and in the whole family. I don’t think there is a day that goes by that we don’t miss him. The stone is beautiful and I wiped off some old grass clippings and straightened up the flowers. I’ll be sure to stop again next time I pass through town. It is kind of weird to see Ma’s name there when she’s still alive, but hopefully we wont fill in the date after the dash for a good long time.

    Once I arrived at Pat and Brenda’s Pat and I decided to hit a movie, Horrible Bosses, which we really liked. Then Samantha came over and the four of us went to dinner and Dairy Queen and then watched Rango at the house. It’s nice to spend time with them – even when they’re more obsessed with the iPad than any human should be. 😉

    Monday I left the Chippewa Valley around 10:30 for the Cities and then flew home, arriving close to 9:00 thanks to a ride from the Boss who also flew back into BWI last night.

    So I’ll be home for a few days before I head back to the Midwest for my scheduled trip on Friday.

  • Singing with Star

    Growing up I was always surrounded by music. At every family gathering there would be singing by the adults and the kids. My mother would often be asked to come up on stage and sing at bars or at the town festival beer tents. Us kids would often put on shows for our parents or uncles and aunts if they would let us. One of my aunts tried to get me interested in playing the piano and my grandmother often tried to teach me to play the guitar.

    My grandmother, Star, would play guitar, sing and she wrote many songs about her life and the lives of those around her. One particular song “Sawmill Mans Wife” was a childhood favorite, I don’t recall the lyrics, but I do recall that the last time I heard her play it my aunt Ginger cried – so perhaps the lyrics weren’t happy memories. I hope someone managed to save her lyrics and music.

    I was fortunate enough to live with my Grandmother for a few years when I was a teenager and I think she picked up her guitar almost every day, and if not the guitar then the dulcimer, the accordion or would just be humming away. Music seemed to be the center of every moment for her. If she was doing woodworking on her walking sticks, or on a new guitar she’s be whistling away or singing an old song that had special importance for her.

    Songs that I probably wouldn’t have been exposed to otherwise I learned about from my grandmother, songs by Ernest Tubb, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, and most importantly her songs.

    We would accompany Grandmother to camp sites where they were protesting nuclear power or whatever and Grandma would get up on stage and sing protest songs, popular songs and sometimes some of us would get on stage and sing with her. My sister and I once got into an argument live on stage about the right way to sing Barbara Mandrell’s “Crackers” – I think I was doing most of the arguing – Dawn understood that the show must go on and kept singing, I understood that I was going to grow up and be a drama queen.

    I can easily recall images of my grandmother strumming her guitar, singing at a campfire, or at home. Most of those are good memories that I can cherish for all time. Music has been one of those things that can make me feel better no matter what – thanks Grandma.

  • A Heifer for Heffner #heifer4heffner

    Tomorrow was supposed to be my wedding day. It was something I was really looking forward to, an event that brought me happy tears just planning it with someone I thought loved me. We had picked gorgeous flowers, a novelty cake, a quaint church with stunning views of San Francisco’s Bay Bridge (if the fog would have allowed), sappy music, dancing, delectable food… yep, we were going to go all out and celebrate our love for one another with our closest friends and family. But two months before the wedding he dumped me with no explanation and no goodbye.

    Cold Hearted – Written by Zac Brown and Nic Cowan

    Fell to my knees with a knife in my back,
    Never thought you’d be the kind to do something like that,
    But you did
    Cold hearted

    You talked so sweet, and your smell it made me weak,
    And I fell so fast that I never thought to ask
    If you were
    Cold hearted

    While planning the wedding we had some debate about a gift registry and I wanted donations sent to Heifer International, a great non-profit that provides animals and training of how to raise those animals to needy communities in all parts of the world. It’s pretty smart idea “teach a man to fish” and all that… The former betrothed was adamantly opposed to this idea as a vegetarian (er, sorry pescatarian – someone who eats some animals [fish] ) as these needy people would just wait for the volunteers to leave and then butcher the animal for food. I tried to reason with him and show him the documented evidence on the website, but he was stubborn and adamant about it. One of many reasons people think I probably dodged a bullet by not marrying him.

    An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
    I want someone to hurt you, make you die the way I do
    I don’t think that I could be so
    Cold hearted

    Pretty little words covered your dark and crooked heart
    With a forked tongue I fell in love,
    Then I fell apart
    You are so
    Cold hearted

    Since he called off the wedding and I still have a resentment festering inside (yes, I am indeed poking it with a stick several times a day). I’ve decided to buy a Heifer through Heifer International to benefit some needy community. I urge you to also, it’s a great opportunity to help end world hunger. If you want to take the special time to honor my not getting married check out Heifer’s website and maybe make a contribution to them. I know times are tough right now in the US, but it’s a lot harder to live in some countries and we can help.

    Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
    I want someone to hurt you, make you die the way I do
    I don’t think that I could be so
    Cold hearted

    Tomorrow night I’ll be dining with some friends at Fogo De Chao,  a Brazilian steakhouse – the more meat the merrier, they just keep bringing meat until you’re satisfied. A bunch of friends are joining me for dinner and friends all over the country will be joining me in spirit going out of their way to chow down on some meat! Love me some beef!

    An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
    Want someone to hurt you, make you die the way I do

    I don’t think that I could be so
    Cold hearted 

    What could be better than a cow for some needy community – besides the fact that I don’t actually have to spend any time in San Francisco or San Antonio ever again if I don’t want to. Life goes on, better fish in the sea and all that…

    So today, please help me spread the word about Heifer International, stop and have a burger or a steak, shop for some leather, or pull a Palin and shoot something from a helicopter. Do it for Hefner, do it for the Heifer… My heart will appreciate it. Moooooo

    And if you’re going to chow down on meat tomorrow please use #Heifer4Heffner on your Twitter feed.

    And buy this song from the Zac Brown Band: Cold Hearted