Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Author: Jamez

  • Wind Blown Rainbows and Butterscotch Dreams…

    My umbrella was destroyed in today’s wind and rain-bent and battered it still managed to block the wind and rain. It was my rainbow umbrella, I loved to spin it in a circle and it always made the song Singing In The Rain come to mind. Today we mourn the loss of another rainbow.

    “After two years without scotch, your much butter!!!” Butterscotch, get it lol… too funny.

    So, the computer instructor would really like me to sign up for some kind of teaching here at TCC, he says he has too many classes to instruct and they are always looking for good people. He says they would probably take into account work experience in the case of teaching computers. He made some reccomendations that I will consider pursuing. You need to remember, writing pays diddly til you’re “somebody”.

    A woman in my Math class (out of the blue) says: “So, are you going to get involved in the drama program this spring?” Wha…? We’ll see, it has been almost twenty years since I’ve done any real acting (pretending to be interested in certain medical professionals banter doesn’t count) and I’m not sure how it would go over.

  • Whole Grain Rumors

    The rumor mill is spewing information that the reviewing committee for The Channel Marker (TCC’s Spring collection of Student Literature) is very impressed with my submissions.

    They do; however, think I’m of African-American ethnicity… It’s the way I spell my name: Jamez

    How I hate to disappoint!!!

  • DIVORCE

    I’m in a position that is unfamiliar to me, between two people that want a divorce. I know and love both people, and have known them as a couple for about ten years now. There is no violence, adultery, lying, stealing or murder… Just a drifting apart and perhaps a change in ideologies.

    When I was a kid, a divorce could have stopped the beating of my mother a hundred times over. I’m one of the first to suggest divorce when someone has cheated on the other, I understand the dangers of verbal abuse and mean people… But, I don’t understand drifting apart. I don’t understand falling out of love.

    I wonder have they thought of their empty bed? Have they considered meals without that person? Do they think back and reflect on the good as well as the bad times?

    There is no argument right now, but I feel trapped in the middle of things. I feel like the child torn between two parents I love… Damn, I’m a kid all over again.

  • Censorship?

    I don’t talk about dates on the site. I don’t talk about individual men I may have met here either. The site is public, it is on my email signature so everyone know about it mostly and I certainly don’t want anyone “playing for the camera” so to speak. Besides, every time I tell my friends about a potential guy he suddenly disappears or is proven to be a psycho.

    I don’t feel comfortable talking about AA on the site. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll write a story about ME in AA or one of my personal experiences, but I don’t want to write about what happens in AA meetings today. There is the anonymous part of AA that needs to remain anonymous I guess… Trust me if things get too far out of hand at a meeting I’ll be sure to share at least the frustration.

    Have a splendid weekend.

  • Congressional Recess (Essay 2, Grade: B+)

    In recent times our government seems to have lost touch with what matters in favor of the frivolous and seemingly unimportant. The evidence clearly points to a loss of direction with Congressional Investigations into why CEOs of Oil companies are rich, a congressional recess called after the disaster of Hurricane Katrina or even the short lived “Freedom Fries” movement:

    …all references to “french fries” and “French toast” on the menus of the restaurants and snack bars run by the House of Representatives would be removed. House cafeterias were ordered to re-name french fries as “freedom fries.”

    Such actions demand congressional investigations into why our lawmakers have difficulty passing laws for universal health care, lowering the cost of malpractice insurance or finding alternative energy sources for the ever increasing cost of oil. In our country helping the poor, unemployed, homeless, and disaster victims should be paramount in the minds of our leaders. It is high time for the voters to decide what is important enough for our lawmakers to spend extra time on.

    To appease the religious right, lawmakers wrote and passed “Terri’s Law”—ordering a feeding tube reinsertion—in less than one week. Enough members of the House and the Senate showed up to work on a Saturday and the President cut short one of his many vacations to ensure the measure passed into law. Elected officials used powers—they were entrusted with—to pass a law for one individual. Is this an example of “We the People?” Will there be an individual law written for your benefit also?

    Looking at the Patriot Act, a measure passed almost immediately following the events of September 11th, we see transgressions that laugh in the face of freedom. At the time, political careers ended for those that didn’t sign, they were obviously “unpatriotic”. In Michael Moore’s controversial documentary Fahrenheit 9/11, a member of Congress readily admits “We don’t read these bills.” Was this one they should have found the time to read?

    Running our country are the groups with money such as the “religious right”, the NRA, Big Oil. These organizations dictate the path of American values through lobbyists and money; is this path a direction you had envisioned?

    Who watches the watchmen? Who do our leaders report to? Who elected them? The answer to all three is you and me; ultimately we are the ones in charge as we put them in office. Our responsibility, as Americans, is to ensure they do the job we elected them to do, not the jobs the feel pressured into. Demand answers, action and results or sit idly by as truth, justice and the American way come to exist only in the world of comic book heros.

  • Happy Monday?

    It’s true, I had a happy Monday, I know it sounds simply absurd, but I did.

    To start with, let me say: Folger’s coffee is not as bad as I remembered it. Sure, I’m still a coffee snob, Starbucks is better… but for your poor college student Folger’s will do.

    Second, damn the weather was great today, listening to Rush on the headphones while biking to school is a great way to start your day.

    Our Computer instructor said today that anyone with an A average would not be required to take the final. I stopped him in the hallway and asked if I had an A average, he said: “Yes, as you help Susan and I give you extra credit for that.” … I said: “If I hadn’t helped Susan I wouldn’t have an A average?” … He says: “No, no, I just want you to know that I appreciate it. You know, with a Bachelors Degree you could teach here.” … Well, doesn’t that make you feel all special (not in the short bus kind of way) inside?

    On Friday I attempted, unsuccessfully, to retrieve the grade from my last Psych exam. Today he handed the tests back, and I got a 50 out of 50 possible points… LOL, can you believe that? This was the test on perception, the brain, neuro chemicals… more crap than I care to learn… and I get an A…. too phqn funny.

    Take care.

  • Updates

    Tuesday I handed in my Essay: Congressional Recess, which is about the way our lawmakers seem to waste time, once it’s graded I’ll let you know how I did. At the third draft stage my Professor did say he “hated it.” I love that, I need that kind of honest feedback. I then proceeded to rewrite the piece which is what was handed in. Essay #3 is a Documented Essay, I plan to write on Video Game addiction with quoted text from very intelligent people from Washington, DC.

    Last week in Math we took test #3 and my score was revealed today: 95% correct! Woot!!! Making me feel better about useless knowledge that will never come into play in my real or imaginary life.

    I came home from school, took a quick shower and shaved and went to look for a job… handed in my resume and filled out the application at the FarmFresh (local grocer) and they asked me to come back at 4:30 for orientation… God help me. [For those of you who may need to know, FarmFresh is owned by the same company that owns Cub Foods: SuperValu] So, Orientation went well, and it looks like I have to have some cashier training… still hoping Walmart will call with a better offer.

  • Forgotten Faces Unforgotten Fears

    I cannot recall how he looked, his image has faded from my mind, if only the memories would fade as easily. He shattered my childhood and helped shape the way I view men today. The seduction and molestation changed my life forever.

    If he walked up to me today would his face be remembered? Would it bring back to consciousness the shame, the demoralization, the guilt? Would I feel hate? Disgust? Would I feel at all?

    Would he know me today, would he remember the day in court when my finger pointed at him and I spoke his name? Does he feel sorry for the acts of rape he inflicted upon children of all ages? Does he feel remorse?

    Does God forgive all men? If so, should I?

  • Spring Semester 06

    Can you believe the time is here already for me to pick my spring classes? Me either, hell, I can’t believe I made it this far!!!

    I will be taking the following classes: Math 4 (real Algebra), ENG 112 (that’s writing), SPD 100 (Speech), and PED 129 (Self-Defense). My class schedule will be M/W Math, ENG and SPD and Tuesday nights PED. Which leaves me with a 4 day weekend, and Tuesdays free to do homework for Wednesday!!!

    English, is the obvious choice for a class, as that is my strongest point and the goal of this adventure.
    Math is required, but I will have my teacher that I like.
    Speech, well, even I get nervous standing in front of people talking.
    Self-Defense? Well, being the HOMO in redneck VA, I need to be able to defend myself.

    I will also be submitting my application for admission into ODU (Old Dominion University) for next Fall. ODU will allow me to pursue an English degree and become a writer (professional) or reporter if I opt for a journalism minor.

  • Dark and Handsome

    As I turn to leave I see the desperation in his eyes begging me to come back to bed for one last kiss. I would love to lay next to him, running my hands over his body, my fingers through his dark hair.

    He never wants me to leave, it’s always the same: his needs his wants come first in his mind. Nothing but my presence next to him will do, he loves no other.

    Finally I succumb to his desires and bend down for one last kiss.

    “Meowr” Q says, hoping, just hoping I don’t walk out the door to school.