Happy festivities to all of you, hope you all eat entirely too much and have a wonderful time with your family.
Try to remember my philosophy:
“It’s not a real holiday unless someone cries”.
55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer
Happy festivities to all of you, hope you all eat entirely too much and have a wonderful time with your family.
Try to remember my philosophy:
“It’s not a real holiday unless someone cries”.
The rumor mill is spewing information that the reviewing committee for The Channel Marker (TCC’s Spring collection of Student Literature) is very impressed with my submissions.
They do; however, think I’m of African-American ethnicity… It’s the way I spell my name: Jamez
How I hate to disappoint!!!
I’m in a position that is unfamiliar to me, between two people that want a divorce. I know and love both people, and have known them as a couple for about ten years now. There is no violence, adultery, lying, stealing or murder… Just a drifting apart and perhaps a change in ideologies.
When I was a kid, a divorce could have stopped the beating of my mother a hundred times over. I’m one of the first to suggest divorce when someone has cheated on the other, I understand the dangers of verbal abuse and mean people… But, I don’t understand drifting apart. I don’t understand falling out of love.
I wonder have they thought of their empty bed? Have they considered meals without that person? Do they think back and reflect on the good as well as the bad times?
There is no argument right now, but I feel trapped in the middle of things. I feel like the child torn between two parents I love… Damn, I’m a kid all over again.
I don’t talk about dates on the site. I don’t talk about individual men I may have met here either. The site is public, it is on my email signature so everyone know about it mostly and I certainly don’t want anyone “playing for the camera” so to speak. Besides, every time I tell my friends about a potential guy he suddenly disappears or is proven to be a psycho.
I don’t feel comfortable talking about AA on the site. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll write a story about ME in AA or one of my personal experiences, but I don’t want to write about what happens in AA meetings today. There is the anonymous part of AA that needs to remain anonymous I guess… Trust me if things get too far out of hand at a meeting I’ll be sure to share at least the frustration.
Have a splendid weekend.
It’s true, I had a happy Monday, I know it sounds simply absurd, but I did.
To start with, let me say: Folger’s coffee is not as bad as I remembered it. Sure, I’m still a coffee snob, Starbucks is better… but for your poor college student Folger’s will do.
Second, damn the weather was great today, listening to Rush on the headphones while biking to school is a great way to start your day.
Our Computer instructor said today that anyone with an A average would not be required to take the final. I stopped him in the hallway and asked if I had an A average, he said: “Yes, as you help Susan and I give you extra credit for that.” … I said: “If I hadn’t helped Susan I wouldn’t have an A average?” … He says: “No, no, I just want you to know that I appreciate it. You know, with a Bachelors Degree you could teach here.” … Well, doesn’t that make you feel all special (not in the short bus kind of way) inside?
On Friday I attempted, unsuccessfully, to retrieve the grade from my last Psych exam. Today he handed the tests back, and I got a 50 out of 50 possible points… LOL, can you believe that? This was the test on perception, the brain, neuro chemicals… more crap than I care to learn… and I get an A…. too phqn funny.
Take care.
I cannot recall how he looked, his image has faded from my mind, if only the memories would fade as easily. He shattered my childhood and helped shape the way I view men today. The seduction and molestation changed my life forever.
If he walked up to me today would his face be remembered? Would it bring back to consciousness the shame, the demoralization, the guilt? Would I feel hate? Disgust? Would I feel at all?
Would he know me today, would he remember the day in court when my finger pointed at him and I spoke his name? Does he feel sorry for the acts of rape he inflicted upon children of all ages? Does he feel remorse?
Does God forgive all men? If so, should I?
Can you believe the time is here already for me to pick my spring classes? Me either, hell, I can’t believe I made it this far!!!
I will be taking the following classes: Math 4 (real Algebra), ENG 112 (that’s writing), SPD 100 (Speech), and PED 129 (Self-Defense). My class schedule will be M/W Math, ENG and SPD and Tuesday nights PED. Which leaves me with a 4 day weekend, and Tuesdays free to do homework for Wednesday!!!
English, is the obvious choice for a class, as that is my strongest point and the goal of this adventure.
Math is required, but I will have my teacher that I like.
Speech, well, even I get nervous standing in front of people talking.
Self-Defense? Well, being the HOMO in redneck VA, I need to be able to defend myself.
I will also be submitting my application for admission into ODU (Old Dominion University) for next Fall. ODU will allow me to pursue an English degree and become a writer (professional) or reporter if I opt for a journalism minor.