If everything goes according to plan, this Saturday, May 8th 2021 I will celebrate 27 years of continuous sobriety. I spent 22 of those years in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), attending a meeting at least once a week. Raising my hand to volunteer, reaching out my hand to newcomers and reading the literature. […]
I started a new job in June, a call center. My first time at a call center and I wasn’t sure how I’d do but I think I do ok. I like it as it keeps me busy most of the time and I love being busy, the days seem to fly by when you’re […]
I have severe depression. It is usually maintained with medications (I take 2: Aripiprazole and Escitalopram) that keep me level. I still get spikes of depression that come in and cloud up everything and almost always include thoughts of ending it all. A previous primary care physician suggested I may experience these in cycles, it’s an interesting theory […]
Hit hard Can’t stop the tearsStarted with self doubtThen came the fear There’s a point somewhere A cause of the scareAn underlying reasonSome kind of demon Want to run away and hideWish I’d already diedDon’t want to search for clues As to why I’m feeling the blues Does it ever stopEver get betterClimb my way on topOnly […]
This is likely a whiny post. This was your only warning. I’ve recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Many years ago I used to get tested pretty regularly to see if I had diabetes… see my biological father died from complications with diabetes when he was 48 (I just turned 48). His complications were […]
I haven’t written in a while – that’s the depression I think, why write when nothing matters is a common thought. Why anything when nothing matter? I deleted the bookofjamez site, you can still find those stories here but the site and host name aren’t being paid for anymore. My friend Deborah, (who makes amazing […]
Sometimes, more often that I’d like to admit, I can’t sleep. Insomnia is a big deal and it literally keeps me awake at night. I’ve tried a bunch of different things to combat this – stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, stayed up really late to make myself more tired, took a nap when I first got […]
The depression I have is mostly under control with medication. I was taking Celexa but it stopped working so now I’m taking Paxil which appears to be working again. Working means no dark cloud around world, not everything seems hopeless and I can justify not ending it all. I talk about depression and how I first […]
It’s been a little over five months since I published my story “Walking Away from AA” where I talked about my decision to leave Alcoholics Anonymous after almost 22 years. I stated then that I didn’t have a desire to drink, but I had a desire to be more honest and truthful with all aspects […]
I started taking an anti-depressant at the end of the year called Citalopram (Celexa). I wasn’t really sure it was a good idea but I was in a bad place and was looking for a way out. My regular doctor did an annual “how are you doing” survey on me last fall and suggested it… […]
Book of Jamez 