55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer
I deactivated my Facebook account today, there are several reasons – mostly the election results and the realization of how many of my “friends” are racist, haters and hypocrites.
But honestly for me it’s almost as big a time sink as World of Warcraft was. (more…)
On World of Warcraft I play a proud member of the Horde Noq, an undead mage from the world of Azeroth. He’s been around for a few years now and seen all the wonders of the world – he’s even been to Outland where the squid faced (Draenei) and Blood Elves originate. He’s helped take down the likes of Onyxia and the Lich King along side his guild Hammer of the Ancients or his friends in This Is Mana Tap. He is well known on his server, has a sharp tongue and a wicked staff (that could be code!).
But I have a deep dark secret…
I… I… I like gnomes. They’re so cute and funny and make me want to just scoop them up in my arms and cuddle them. They have the cutest dance of all the dance moves in the game
I actually try to emulate this dance when I go out dancing – I mean the hips, the slapping the hand behind the head it’s just perfect!
My Horde friends like to talk about gnome cookies (made out of real gnomes) and punting them across the Barrens. Some of my Horde friends are undead and would readily eat these cute little buggers, but not I.
I love playing them as mages and rogues and priests – as soon as we were able to play priests on gnome characters I ran out and rolled a new priests (sadly this means I have two active priests) and simply love it. I love their emotes of /train and /charge and of course dance.
*sigh* I love Gnomes.
I also love dwarves (much too tough of a meat for most Horde to consider eating) they’re so furry and have great beards and I imagine furry chests (I can’t see em naked – I know that’s a little pervy, but hey it’s me). They also have great emotes – you simply cannot believe how much I literally laugh out loud as I /rasp over and over on a Dwarf. Their flirts are pretty awesome too.
*sigh* I love Dwarves
I care not one bit for any of the other Alliance races and they can be thrown into a pit of red dragons for all I care.
But all of my friends love Horde, all of them!!! Kerrig the Orc, Salthair the Undead, Janka the Orc, Landrai and Luesarim the Blood Elves, I even know Trolls… /gasp .
So I play with my friends as a Horde but each day I secretly dream of a day when Gnomish or Goblin Engineering creates a device that would permanently grant my Horde players the appearance of gnomes and dwarves, with emotes and all. Maybe some day Blizzard will break down the barriers of racism and allow my gnomes and dwarves to switch factions, I’m sure that all the Horde leaders would benefit from daily hugs given by gnomes.
There, I’ve come out and said it, I’m a gnome lover a dwarf lover and long to scream out during raid encounters “For Gnomeregan!!!”
For the last few months I’ve been taking classes at night a couple times a week (Tuesday and Thursdays) to learn to be a phlebotomist and yesterday afternoon I took the final exam and am now certified and set to begin my new journey. My instructors at Because We Care here in DC were just so amazing and helpful and made the whole thing seem so easy – I know it’s because they were so good at training us. 
A phlebotomist, in case you didn’t know is a technician that collects blood for testing and for transfusions, labeling the different samples, and keeping on top of all documentation. You’ve probably had a phlebotomist take your blood during your last doctor visit and didn’t even know they were anything besides a nurse. It’s very technical and specialized, I had to work for long hours figuring out the best ways to slip the syringe-needle with minimal discomfort on the patient. I’m actually getting a little turned on by wearing the rubber gloves so sometimes I might spend a little extra time just making sure they are “just right” before I begin.
I had quite a few slips ups during my training and knew when the patient had gone that it would either bruise or at minimum sting for a little bit. But now I’m much more confident and have learned to distract the patient a little bit before I slip it in – mostly I just strike them up in casual conversation; ask them about their families or where they’ve vacationed lately. In my cubicle at the school lab I placed two posters for them to look at to help, one of the posters is a beautiful mountaintop covered in snow with a a couple of skiers on what looks like a milk run – boy does that scene make me wish I was out there this moment enjoying the powder. The other poster is just a couple of kittens, some people are into that I guess. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to go out of your way to please other people – especially if it helps them to relax, I’m all about small talk, but sometimes other distractions work.
In anticipation of this certification I have been putting out feelers discretely for work in places that I’d like to live, you all know the list as I’ve talked about it so many times before but I think I’ve finally settled on Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I’ve sent my resume into St. Boniface hospital there and have already been asked to come in for an interview. My friend Nathan has assured me that I can crash at his house for the interview and if I get the job then I could even crash there until I get on my feet. Wow, I’m finally going to have free health care and I will only have to move out of the “land of the free” to get it. Crazy right? These Canadians not only have free health care, they are getting rid of their penny and have a porn channel… a porn channel! can you imagine? And the winters there I hear are comparable to what we have in the DC area so I’ll be fine.
I’m flying out Monday for the interview and hope to have a job offer this week and if so I’ll be giving notice at my job then packing up and heading for Winnipeg! During my visit in September of last year I just fell in love with the place, the people, the poutine it’s everything I ever wanted and more. They’ve have good quality AA, beefy men and the Blue Bombers – Canada’s best football team and you know I’m a big football fan so I belong in this city. Once I’m settled in I hope a lot of you have the opportunity to visit – especially in January you really want to experience the snow and ice blanketing the city – it’s stunning.
The thought of working in a hospital environment collecting bodily fluids for testing and labeling is just very fulfilling. I look forward to sucking… er drawing the blood out of Canadians for many years to come. I hope that you will all also have the opportunity to feel this fulfilled about a career change as I do.
Becoming a certified phlebotomist is a life long dream I’ve had for a couple of months now and it’s finally becoming a reality.
If you’re late to the party, this was my April Fools Day Post – I pass out around needles and blood, detest snow and cold weather and don’t do “small talk”.
In the bowels of Undercity Noq stood behind a cauldron of eldritch energy, and arcane vapors stirring a concoction that he’d been sold by a wiry goblin who made wild claims about it being able to accomplish the impossible – teleport him to a far off land called Winn e Peg. Noq’s friends (Grokus, Salthair, Kerrig, Gopello, Spanky and yes, even the retched Paladin Galahad) had been stranded in this desolate section of Northrend for a month now and he might be the only one who could save them. He began to chant the ancient words and felt his robe start to billow around him and the northern energies start to boil in his veins.
“Winn e Peg, Eh Winn e Peg, Eh?” he repeated over and over until a flash of blue light and then he screamed the final words “Blue Bombers, Eh?” and he mystically appeared in a strange land where he knew his friends were being held.
To be honest I had planned to visit Winnipeg last fall but life got in the way so it was postponed, almost indefinitely. Thankfully I found a time that worked with the bosses schedule and got me there when both Grokus (Nathan) and Salty (Dale) didn’t have to work.
I flew out Thursday morning from DCA to MSP an uneventful trip that allowed me to watch two episodes of Breaking Bad. My ticket for the second leg of the trip said my little commuter plane was boarding right after we landed so I rushed to the other side of the airport only to find that we didn’t board for another 20 minutes or so – sigh, that’s a short flight anyway, about an hour I think.
When I arrived at the customs desk in Canada it went like this:
Customs Agent: What brings you to Canada?
Me (that’s what I call myself Me): I’m here to meet friends I’ve never met.
Customs Agent: What? How is that again? How did you become friends if you’ve never met?
Me (that’s what I sing if I’m doing scales do ra meeeeeeeee): We play video games together and have been good friends for about 6 years now and I decided to come visit them.
Customs Agent: You’ll have to talk to my supervisor.
Me (ME is for Maine, another place I should visit): uh, what?
Customs Agent: Just step into that room sir.
So trying to explain to someone that you have real friendships with people that you’ve never met is odder then you might think. In the end the customs agent let me enter Canada and I jetted off to my hotel – after I converted some money $60 US = $50 Canadian and a handful of change. I’m not entirely sure if there is a Canadian $1 bill, if there is I never saw one, I always had a pocket of change that included $1 coins and $2 – the “Toonie”, which despite it’s name didn’t have any cartoon characters on it at all, but looked like one coin inset another coin.
I arrived at the Fairmont Winnipeg via taxi, nice hotel staff, nice room and a Client hotel. I got a decent rate that included breakfast and it wasn’t too far from my friends. Grokus (his real name is Nathan, but seriously he’s been Grokus for six years and that’s what I call him – he calls me Noq) arrived and it was surreal, it didn’t feel awkward or strange to be meeting this person who didn’t at all look like the avatar he played in the game it felt good to finally be meeting my friend. Then Salty (his character’s name is Salthair and his real name is Dale) arrived in a McDonald’s truck and we went off to dinner – not at McDonald’s but at a nice italian restaurant. The three of us had a great dinner with stimulating conversation about all kinds of things, but not really the game. We talked politics, jobs, families and trips. We ate, some of us more sparingly than others, and drank sodas, and I genuinely had a nice time. Then they drove me around a little bit and showed me some sites near the hotel that I might be interested in looking at the next day before dropping me off and they headed home.
That night I hooked up the Macbook and entered World of Warcraft to do a couple dungeons with the guild, yes, I honestly flew up to Canada so I could play video games in a hotel – NO! But I had the computer with me and the guild wanted a couple achievements so I said ok.
Up to this point no one had said “Eh” but I’m not sure if they spend hours each day practicing not saying it, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
Friday morning woke up, had breakfast and then headed out to try to find the Winnipeg Central Office – Their AA Office, where a meeting was going to be at noon. I was given an address but it was a confusing address to me and about three different people that I asked, but I did eventually find it. While trying to find it I got to explore Winnipeg Square, a little downtown underground mall that goes on quite a ways and eventually leads to a skyway that connects to something else that connects to something else that leads to a mall – it’s really smart for Canadian Winters I figure to have the ability to get all those places without having to go outside. Also sent out my postcards.
It was at the meeting where I was bombarded with people saying “Eh” no other place over the whole weekend did I hear it, but amongst friends of Bill and Bob it was rampant – I’m not sure what that says about members of AA, but I’m sure it means something. Maybe we’ve all watched Strange Brew too many times.
The meeting was Tradition 8 and most of the folks who shared shared about the tradition and kept there share brief. Even I got to share and I shared my experience with contacting that very Central Office and talking to their professional secretary who answers the phones and emails for members traveling into the city.
Friday night Salty picked me up at the hotel with one of his boys (Nicholas) and his girlfriend and we went to grab Grokus before heading to the Salthair family home with groceries for the back yard bar-b-cue. At Salty’s I met his lovely wife and two more boys Peter (Gopello – holy crap is he tall) and Ben (Spanky). Kerrig (Ron), who I don’t think is any relation, but I could be wrong, soon showed up as well. We ate lots of burgers and dogs and there was even a good salad before we went down to the man cave to watch the movie “Super“. I will say that I’m not a big fan of Rainn Wilson, but I absolutely enjoyed this movie. I returned to the hotel after one, I think around 1:30… that was a long day.
Saturday I knew Grokus and Salty were going to be doing there usual stuff before we met up for an afternoon movie, so I turned on Grindr and my other men tracking utilities and found a guy and had a nice morning… 😉
Grokus came by around 2:30 and we headed to the mall to search for tshirts for me before the movie. We opted to see Fright Night (we did see it in 3D but it was a total waste of money to do so – three instances where I can remember the 3D tech was used well – and one of those three instances was ashes floating around… sigh. Side note: Dear Hollywood, 3D sucks.) with Collin Ferrel who makes a hot vampire, ok, he’d make a hot anything. It was a good movie that all three of us enjoyed.
The three of us then went to dinner … oh first we stopped to buy pastries at a local bakery, one of which we later discovered had mold growing on it – eewwww … at a burger joint where we met up with Galahad (I think his name is Chris). Salty ate most of my fries because I wasn’t eating them. The four of us headed back to Salty’s to play the board game “Game of Thrones” which I somehow won – no idea how that happened.
Here’s the rub – wow it was really great to meet everyone, I feel like I’ve already met them just based on the hours we’ve spent playing games online together. Everyone was just like I’d imagined they would be, and that’s likely because they’re such good people and Canadian which is just like being a Wisconsinite but colder. I started playing WoW with local people here in DC that soon after quit playing and fortunately for me I met these guys and became friends. I’ve spent countless hours in a world of fantasy with these guys battling dragons, beating up Alliance scum or attending weddings but I think the best time I’ve spent with them probably has to be this weekend – nah, it’s probably the times we spent leveling up in vanilla wow via pvp battles… but this weekend was a close second! 🙂
When Mancy was but a wee lad gnome, his step-father, Oxen, had pushed his mother into a well and left her to die. His mothers death-bed confession explained thoroughly what happened, “He ran off to live with his orc mistress. She lives south east of the capital city of Ogrimar, I had confronted her relationship with your father many years ago. She laughed in my face and almost killed me on the spot. The night he pushed me into the well she was standing right beside him. Avenge me Mancy, avenge me!!!”
At the tender age of ten, Mancy set off to learn skills that would enable him to track his step-father down and make him pay for his wicked ways. A master of deception took him in and taught him the ways of the mysterious rogues. He learned how to travel the vast world in a cloak of deception and guile.
The long standing effects of Gnomeragan radiation had taken their toll on the lad, his hair had disappeared everywhere except his face; worse than that it had turned a very distinctive pink color.
It had been ten years since Mancy started his quest; to locate his step-father and hold him accountable for the death of his mother. There had been close calls over the years; several times where he had arrived at an inn only to find his quarry had departed only days ahead of him. Once a rumor had sent him all the way to Azshara only to find a dwarf named Axen not Oxen. Along the way he met many people, joined many raids to defeat perilous monsters and hordes of horde. Always with an eye or an ear to hear where the murder might be next.
Finally he had found him, hot on the trail of Oxen and that tramp orc woman he raced; his mechanical steed smoking profusely in the burning desert of Silithus. They came upon the Gates of Ahn’Qirai, his mount was slowly gaining on the duo…when in a shimmer of magic they disappeared. Not to be dismayed, Mancy raced forward, cringing a little as he reached the shimmering wall. And he stopped short, unable to venture forward alone.
Gathering a host of friends, he set off into the vastness of Ahn’Qirai; yet his step-father and his mistress were nowhere to be found. The trail ended, none could decipher where his father had gone; Mancy felt as if his entire existence had come to naught.
In desperation he sought out the king of gnomes in the capital city of Iron Forge; desperate for some hope in fulfilling his mothers last request. The king looked kindly upon Mancy, and sent him to the royal engineer.
Gnimish, the royal engineer, was just a few feet away and had heard Mancy’s dilemma. He had used a gnomish communication device to request the aid of the high warlock between the two of them they had divined where his father had gone: a alternate reality.
Mancy was astounded; he wasn’t sure how such a thing was possible or how he would ever reach the end of his journey. Gnimish and the high warlock conversed secretly before giving Mancy this one shred of hope.
“We can transport you there, between the wonders of gnomish technology and the magic’s of the high warlord, you can continue your quest and be at ease.” At this Mancy’s ears perked up and his heart swelled once again with hope. “However,” said Gnimish “It’s a one way trip, we cannot bring you back to this reality once you go.”
Mancy thought long and hard about this choice. He sought the sage advice of his comrades, who all thought he should go but would miss him dearly. One of his friends suggested he change his name, as his father would only be expecting him to follow, not someone else. Mancy took their advice and changed his name to Bubo.
In the chamber of the gnomish king, he stood before a frightening contraption that the royal engineer had pointed at him. Waving good bye to his friends and taking a hard swallow he said “I’m ready”.
The flash of light was instant, he hardly knew anything at all had happened or was going to happen; all he could see was a bright green light and then felt the sensation of falling forever. Part of him remembered the time he had used a gnomish mind-control cap and was seriously wounded in an explosion. Why hadn’t he remembered that sooner…? BOOM!
The falling sensation had stopped; he was covered head to toe in what appeared to be fish oil. But he was there, where ever there was. Everything looked the same as it had when he had left, but none of his friends were there, nor the high warlock or royal engineer.
“I’ll find you father, if it’s the last thing I do I’ll find you and you’ll pay for your crime…” Mancy said to himself… no, not Mancy. Bubo. I’m Bubo now.
