Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Wisconsin

  • What's in a Name?

    I was born as James Jody _____. Phillip _________, my biological father was the star football player in Blair, WI and my biological Mother Cheryl ___________ and he hooked up and had my sister and then me for children. Both Phillip and Cheryl were alcoholics and you can guess how the marriage went. My biological mother always told the story of how Phillip would drink up all the money and her mother would have to bring us food as babies.

    In 1974 (give or take a year) my biological mother met and married Joseph __________, who adopted me and my sister – we took his last name. Joe was/is also an alcoholic.

    Joe was a violent drunk who beat my mother bloody regularly. His family helped him beat her on a few occasions. One fathers day on our way home from somewhere he was arrested for some warrant. He was a lot of things, but he was never my father.

    When I was thirteen and again at 15 I met my biological father. He was kind enough to get me drunk both times, offered to get me a hooker so I would lose my virginity and denounced my mothers tales of his drinking as her excuses.

    In 1986 at the age of 15 I was put into the Foster Home system. I was placed in the home I’ve stated before that Ma was sitting in a rocking chair knitting and Pa was sitting in his rocker – they were both very old (I was 15) and I knew it would never be a lasting placement, there was no way these old people could keep up with me nor manage me. Yet that’s exactly what they did. My Ma and Pa fed me regularly, loved me constantly and even made me be responsible for my own actions.

    My Pa was the first human adult male that loved me regardless of who I was or what I had done. He didn’t want anything in return, he just wanted to love me. When I did something wrong I could see actual disappointment in his eyes, I could see concern – these were things that were foreign to me.

    At around 20 my biological father died from complications of diabetes – alcohol became more important than insulin – that’s a serious complication.

    When I sobered up I made amends to my biological father by regularly going to his grave and cleaning it up and I talk to him. But he’s not really my father.

    I also managed to see my adopted father Joe at a bar (I had a legitimate reason for being there) and made as much of an amend that I might have needed to make. But he’s also never been my father.

    My Pa, was from the first day he met me up until the day he died in November of last year, my father.

    This is just a brief few words explaining what’s been going on in my head since before Pa died last year, but it will possibly help you to understand why I’m taking his name as part of mine.

    If all goes according to plan my name will change to honor Pa before October 1, 2009.

    I’ll keep you posted and thank you for your understanding.

  • The Rest of the Conference (Trip the Midwest Part 2)

    Saturday morning I had breakfast with an old friend Cliff H in the hotel restaurant, we talked about his family, underground country music and AA. It was nice. He and I headed over to hear the Alanon speaker, Joan H from MN. She gave a very good talk and made me laugh quite a bit.

    After the speaker the other AA speakers and I took a tour of Eau Claire with Bruce, we visited places where Clancy I was young and places that he talks about in his own talk. We ended the tour at Ray’s on Water Street for Hot Beef sandwiches which really hit the spot.

    I was free until the buffet dinner at 5:30 and again tried to take a nap, but this time Pat and Brenda called. I saw them to their room in the hotel and then headed down to my room to get ready again.

    The buffet was… well, the coffee was good and the conversation.

    Jim H from Chicago was the speaker and he gave a good talk, after which we lined up to thank him and then headed to the ice cream social which is loved by all.

    Sunday morning arrived to quickly and I packed up my things and loaded them in Pat and Brenda’s car. I had breakfast with the guy from Gopher State Tape Library who taped the event, we had nice conversations and a good breakfast.

    The morning speaker was Kenna from Los Angeles CA and she gave a real good talk that had me laughing a lot at points and thinking alot at other points, after which we lined up to thank her.

    The roundup no officially over there were photos to be taken of the speakers, the hosts and gifts to be given to the speakers which included an Eau Claire t-shirt and a bag of certified dirt from the Eau Claire area.

    Pat, Brenda and I headed to Chippewa Falls, but not before we stopped at Taco John’s for me ;-).

    Sunday was a very relaxed day at Pat and Brenda’s and Pat and I headed to the Northside Group for a step 7 meeting that evening which hit the spot. It was great to be back at my old home group and hear some real recovery at a step meeting.

    Monday was a day filled with pipe dreams of movies and fun and didn’t really become anything. Tuesday was spent with me waiting for Pat to finish work to drive me to Galesville. I arrived in Galesville Tuesday afternoon, shortly before dinner.

  • Trip to the Midwest July 2009 Part 1

    Why am I here again? I’ve been to WI 6 or 7 times in the last year, yet I am there again… Well, I was asked to speak at the Chippewa Valley Roundup this year. This is the 12th Annual Chippewa Valley Roundup, and a little more than 12 years ago I was actually part of the organizing committee for the roundup, that was before a resentment or two kicked in.

    I landed in MSP on Wednesday afternoon and shortly after my arrival I entered the shuttle van that would deliver me to Eau Claire. All the way to Eau Claire there were a multitude of state troopers that were pulling over several RVs, buses and cars – I had never seen that many police on the road from MSP to Eau Claire before.

    Immediately upon arrival in Eau Claire Pat and I headed to Taco Johns for a quick meal. We took that as an opportunity to catch up a bit and I got to hear about their hopes to become parents to a foreign exchange student from Thailand.

    When we arrived in Chippewa Falls we were greeted by Brenda and Maui (the dog) and had a nice little time chatting. It wasn’t long before the night time caught up with us and we were all headed for bed.

    Thursday morning the entire Isenberger family headed off for work and I was free to waste time as I saw fit. I headed over to Arby’s for a very late breakfast (roast beef sandwhich) and then that afternoon I drove Sami (I call her Sam just to annoy her) to Oakwood Mall. I had my earring cleaned and then she and I had lunch (I eat a lot in WI) in the food court. We then headed to Banbury Place (former home of the Uniroyal plant) and picked up Brenda.

    I was the only one interested in going to the Pacific Group that night and I wasn’t sure if my sponsor would make it or not, but lo and behold he arrived with 15 minutes to spare before the meeting. My friend and former sponsee Jon S spoke at the meeting and it was nice to see all the old friends and to be a part of the meeting. I also had a chance to meet Jim H the Saturday night speaker at the roundup. After the meeting Steve and I joined the guys for food at Perkin’s a local tradition here.

    Steve and I headed for Chippewa Falls where Pat was waiting up for us – at this point it was likely close to 11:00 central time and I imagine Steve was tired, but Pat, Steve and I stayed up talking for quite a while.

    Friday morning we took Steve for a small tour of the area which included Taco John’s and the Oakwood Mall area. When we arrived back in Chippewa Steve and I loaded up his car with my bags and he dropped me off at the hotel. I was hoping for a nap.

    However, not too long after I closed my eyes, Bruce E called and said he was on his way up to my room with goodies. True to his word, he and another AA showed up soon enough with a bunch of food items for me, the speaker. It was nice, but a real nap would have been nicer.

    So, having been awoken I headed downstairs to grab my registration badge and other items that the committee had prepared for me. I was told almost immediately that I had just missed seeing my friend Renata who had come down from MSP to see me.

    I went back up to my room, took a nice shower (though the shower did make a whistling sound the whole time – I’m not THAT cute) and shaved my head. I took the time to look at the Big Book and say a few prayers that I thought might be helpful to me that day before heading down to have dinner with my host, the other speakers and some committee members.

    Dinner was… well, the bread pudding was good and the conversation was good, that’s about it.

    There was quite a lot of fellowship before the meeting and I was lucky enough to be able to see most of my friends before I had to speak.

    I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t scared I was fine. I stood up there and listened to them read How It Works, The Traditions, and then had Dr. Larry introduce me. Then I read a small part of the Big Book, the part about us being sensitive and then just started talking. I really have no idea what I said, I recall talking about my Pa, but that’s about it, that’s pretty standard for me when I talk.

    After the talk most of the people lined up and shook my hand or gave me a hug. Many of them said I did a great job, and I hope I did… I guess I should listen to the CD sometime.

  • The Exchange

    I’ve been friends with Pat and Brenda for almost 15 years. During that 15 years I have watched their children grow up from 4 year old terrors to adults with responsibilities that they take seriously. It has been a pleasure to watch.

    For the last few years the Pat and Brenda have been looking forward to the day when their children would be away from the house and they would effectively be free. I must admit that I too was looking forward to the day when we would be able to have more freedom to do what we wanted to without worrying about the kids at home.

    So it came as a little bit of a shock when I came to Chippewa Falls this week and found out they were very excited about a foreign exchange student coming to their home in the next few weeks.

    I really shouldn’t be surprised. They have such big hearts and so much to share with someone from another country. They’ve always given to others.

    For the next school year a young lady from Thailand will be living at my friends house and perhaps even coming to Washington DC in October for a brief visit. I hope she comes to love my friends as much as I love them, and I hope they come to learn a lot about other cultures.

  • WIsconsin Trip – Summer 2009 – part 2 (Coulee Region)

    First a little background information. Coulee “in Wisconsin, they are the product of nearly a half million years of erosion, unmodified by glaciation. The loose rocks at the base of the wall form what are called scree slopes. These are formed when chunks of the canyon wall give way in a rockslide. Left alone, the valleys are often woodland, with the ridgetops transitioning into tallgrass prairie when not turned into pasture or used for row crops.” I always think of coulee’s like big spacious valleys, I’m not sure if that’s accurate, but when I think of “coulees” in WI I think of valleys of lush green forests and rolling hills.

    I awoke relatively early on Sunday morning and after saying my farewells to the Isenberger’s I headed off for Galesville.

    A little more information – My Pa, who died in November loved to go to auctions. He would go to auctions and buy anything that struck his fancy – lawn mowers, snow blowers, tables, street lamps, old books, clothes, motors… relatively ANYTHING. And he managed to fill the old Beaver Builder’s building in Galesville (over 300′ long with 4 floors) with those items he purchased. This is what my Pa did after he retired, much to the occasional frustration and frequent concern for finances that he caused my Ma. It’s hard to put into words what the Shop looks like inside, Pa had no recognizable form of organization we might have a stack of riding mower decks in this corner, at the far side of the building and behind a row of snow blowers. The vast expanse of the building have allowed many bats and stray cats to call it home and therefore there are various forms of feces in different parts. It was rare that Pa would cover items with a tarp or put them in a protected place, most if not all of the items in the shop are covered with a thin layer of black dust that gets transferred to your face, hands and clothes with ease.

    I arrived in Galesville a little after 10, having just missed my Ma who was off to a 50th wedding anniversary party for old friends. I headed off immediately to the Shop to go to work. Rhonda, her husband Greg and my nephew Michael were already there hard and work. Rhonda put me to work sorting lawnmower bags which is frustrating. We assume that Pa must have bought a lot of old Toro bags at an auction as we have more than twice as many Toro bags as we do Toro mowers. Rhonda brought a movie (Paul Blart, Mall Cop) over that evening and we enjoyed that with Rhonda and Greg.

    Monday morning Ma and I went to breakfast at the Garden of Eatin’ a local cafe (Galesville is called the Garden of Eden by some so the restaurant’s name fits) before I headed off to the shop for day two. Rain was falling pretty hard most of the day so we were confined to the inside of the shop which hindered our progress some and gets a person depressed pretty quickly. The local paper stopped by to ask questions and take pictures and we called it a day a little early. Rhonda brought over a movie (Bride Wars) and we were all likely in bed before 10 p.m.

    Tuesday we all met at the Garden of Eatin’ for breakfast, the sun was out and it was threatening to be a nice day. Rhonda and I set our sites on moving lawnmower decks from the inside of the building to the outside – let me tell you those things are heavy and I am very grateful for the two wheelers that were on hand to cart them long distances and up the hill. I was put to the task of sorting out and lining up a pile of rear ends that belong to various tractors and riders.

    I am so very grateful that Rhonda is there in Galesville. She has done an amazing amount of work getting everything ready for the auction. When I go into the building I am still overwhelmed at the enormity of it all and how much has yet to be done. I think there are over 100 push mowers, 100 riders, 100 snow blowers, 100 tillers on the first auction block (in addition to the various 1000s of spare parts, the 1949 1/4 ton truck, the fish finned car and god only knows what else. Rhonda (with little help from others) had put this all together for the first auction this Saturday which has helped Ma immensely.

    Thank God for wonderful sisters! I’ll be heading back to the Coulee region in late July just in time for the 2nd auction.

  • WIsconsin Trip – Summer 2009 – part 1 (Chippewa Valley)

    I awoke in DC early Thursday morning and despite the clear skies that followed the severe thunderstorms that night, my flight was canceled. I didn’t know that until I reached the airport – having failed to check my flight status before heading out the door that morning. Delta/NWA booked me on a relatively similar flight and I arrived in La Crosse, WI only an hour or so later than I had planned. Flying into La Crosse, I knew why they call our land God’s country – the land is covered in life – forests of trees, streaming rivers and serenity… just beautiful.

    Rhonda and Ma came to pick me up at the airport and we went to Rocky Roccoco’s for Lunch. If you didn’t know, Rocky’s is Chicago Style pizza and one of the treats that I look forward to when I go home. It’s a wonderful feeling to come home and have a nice lunch with your Ma and your sister. I dropped Ma and Rhonda off in Galesville and took Ma’s car about 100 miles north to Eau Claire, WI.

    I arrived at Pat and Brenda’s about 1:30 or so and found Brenda, Samantha (the graduating one) and Anna (Sam’s friend) hard at work in preparation for the party Saturday. I was greeted with hugs and dog kisses (from the dog Maui) and tried to help as I was directed to.

    Thursday night a friend (Stephanie) was the speaker at the Eau Claire Pacific Group of Alcoholics Anonymous and I was in attendance. Stephanie did a great job sharing her experience, strength and hope and afterward we all all headed to Perkins for a very late meal, I’d say there were about 20 folks in attendance it was good fellowship.

    Friday during the day Pat and I ran errands for his wife and generally helped to prepare the house for all the guests. That evening was the graduation ceremony. We (Pat, Brenda, Stephanie and Anna) were all in attendance for what seemed to be the longest graduation commencement ceremony – ever… The Assistant Principal spoke, they inducted people from the classes of 1945, 55 and 62 into some special recognition group, students talked, principals talked, songs were sung… and finally (2 hours later) they started to hand out diplomas to the 300+ students… when my niece Sam received hers we pleasantly left the building.

    Saturday morning I had breakfast with my biological sisters daughters (or my nieces) Samantha and Tabatha at Perkins. I hadn’t seen either of these girls (women?) since my mother died about 5 years ago. They have both grown up so much and are so very different from the little girls that I used to spin in circles and make smell my socks in my memory. We had a nice breakfast filled with moments of awkward silences and shy moments. I then drove Tabatha home all the way to Fall Creek before heading back to Chippewa Falls for the party.

    Saturday’s party was preceded by temperatures that were in the low 50s and a rain that fell all day long. The party’s spirit threatened to abandon us before the actual festivities… nevertheless the family and friends arrived in the early afternoon and stayed into the evening. Family and friends tend to do that for people they love.

    These types of events are always a double edged sword for me, I do get to see and spend great quality time with people that mean the world to me, and I get a chance to see folks that I don’t see very often – there are plenty of people that I don’t know that are there also and these events do seem to be an excuse for people to hang around and whine about life… sigh.

    I’ve known Samantha since she was about 4 years old and I’ve been called “Uncle Jamez” almost since day 1… for a little while she and her brother called me “James and the Giant Peach” and I am grateful that that finally lost interest with them. Samantha has grown into a fine young woman and I have been amazed at her accomplishments, triumphs and journeys into adulthood. Right now I know she doesn’t know where she wants the future to lead her, but I hope when she chooses a path that that path leads her to a life as filled with loved ones as I’ve managed to assimilate.

  • Humbling

    I’ve been asked to speak at the Chippewa Valley Roundup this year. This is one of those crazy things that doesn’t seem like it can be real.

    If my memory serves me well, I helped do the groundwork to get this roundup up and running all those years ago. Shortly before it came to be a reality is when I copped my resentment and left the group, but I was there at the beginning and I am fairly certain I attended the roundup.

    So, in preparation for this event I’ve downloaded all the AA Speaker Podcast’s I could and will listen to as many as I can. I’m hoping all this listening will not only be good for my program, but also manage to help me be a better speaker. Fortunately, there have been some really good talks, a few that have made me a little weepy…

    Anyway, this is gonna weigh heavily on my mind over the next month or so and I’ll do my best to deliver the message.

  • April 2009 Trip to Wisconsin

    Relief. That’s what I feel that this time i wasn’t going to fly US Airways with their fees, surcharges, surly crew and bad seats. Instead I had booked a flight on Northwest, which has always been a pleasant experience. My flights were on time, my seat was comfortable, it was relaxing! The flight from MSP to EAU on the little plane was a little bumpy, but that was more entertaining than frightening.

    I landed a little early in Eau Claire and had to call Brenda to let her know I was there, she was soon at the airport to scoop me up. She and I drove to Oakwood Mall where we ate Rocky Rococo’s pizza and met up with Pat and then headed back to Chippewa (their home).

    That evening Pat, Brenda and I went to see the new movie Observe and Report, which had a few good one liners but was mostly not worth the money.

    Saturday was mostly uneventful up until we headed out the door for the Pacific Group’s 15th Anniversary Party. Before the party we stopped at Starbucks for coffee, Brenda got hit on by a 20 something kid… made her weekend. At the party is was great to see all the old familiar faces and reminisce about the early days. The food was good, the talk was good, the movie was too long… but it was fun.

    Sunday morning, bright and early, I left for Galesville to see Ma and Rhonda. Ma and I went to breakfast at the Garden of Eatin’ and then we headed down to the shop to meet up with Rhonda and Greg. Rhonda, Greg and I worked hard throwing away broken mowers, snow blowers and other crap that Pa had managed to collect. Around 12 we broke for lunch and then were joined by Michael and a friend of his, more and more stuff was cleared out and sorted. I soon discovered that there was to be a thrift sale April 25 and 26 and two auctions the first of which will be right after my next trip to WI (June 4 – 11). We worked hard and got very dirty. Sunday evening we all met at Ma’s for pizza, Danielle and Cory brought their baby Charles (my first great-nephew) and we all had a relaxing night.

    Monday I was VERY sore, it’s been a long time since I put in a day of manual labor. I had a quick breakfast with Ma and then headed back to Eau Claire. Monday and Tuesday were pretty uneventful at Pat and Brenda’s but it was nice to see and spend time with them.

  • Pegasus II and Cygnus

    Back when Ted and I first met we had one basic thing in common: love of comic books. Ted was much more serious about it than I was and he introduced me to several stories and books that I then grew to love and treasure, he also taught me about preserving the comics (bags and boards). I was pretty clueless and most of my comic books were just kind of lying around my room crumpled up or torn in various places.

    But Ted, he had boxes of well preserved special issues, entire story lines of the golden age of X-Men (OK, it wasn’t the golden age of comics… I don’t think, but it was those issues of X-Men that brought the rest of the world into their universe and shone the spotlight on them for quite a while), first editions, and even *gasp* independent publisher comics.

    One of his independent comics, Nexus, gave me the tool I needed to get rid of the military recruiters that were waking me at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday mornings – “Communism is glorious, just glorious.” stated the character. Just saying that phrase to one recruiter fellow (Navy I believe) brought their attempts to bring me into the armed services to an abrupt halt – it was the cold war after all (1988).

    Anyway, the point of this post; is that while Ted and I were in school together, 9 – 12th grades, we had started to write our own comic book: Cygnus and Pegasus II. Now this comic was based on our make believe times out by an old pile of rusted metal somethings next to the railroad tracks near where my grandma lived on Camp Street in Whitehall. Those rusted out pieces of debris were our spaceship, our mountain, our alien planet and we could do anything there… after all both Cygnus and Pegasus II were descendants of the ancient Greek Gods of Mount Olympus and their power was near infinite.

    Of course we did have our share of problems back then, and each one of them somehow ended up in our story: girlfriends, teachers, friends, family… everyone had a part in our story. And we were plagiarists too, we would steal from anybody: Legion of Superheroes, X-Men, Spiderman, it didn’t matter if it was something that we read regularly we would find a way to put parts of it into the story. Some of the first paragraphs that I wrote had characters with the same first names as the founding members of the Legion of Superheroes, but I didn’t know it was wrong, I just was too stoned to be original more than likely.

    But here I was looking through my old papers this evening trying to find one of the stories that involved not just Ted and I, but Rosy and Eric as well. I was going to type it up and cringe at all the spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and just plain stupidity to make sure that it got posted somewhere that would possibly be safe for me to laugh at in a decade or so… but I can’t seem to find it. Perhaps this weekend I’ll have some time to be able to go out and find this piece of horrid literature and post some of it on here for you all to laugh at, just trying to do my part to keep you entertained.

  • PVC, XYZ and Sad Little Girls

    This weekend my friend Eric and I hooked up with our friend Rosy from High School. We wanted to try to get her to relax and have a good time – she’s very serious and we did manage to get her to smile here and there and I do believe I heard a chuckle or two as well. Eric and I are both likely bruised on shoulders and shins from her assaults when we would joke at her expense.

    Eric is retired Air Force and Rosy is active Air Force and when the two of them get to talking about what’s been going on the last 21 years they talk in letters. You would think that I would be used to this kind of thing – having lived in DC for the last 10 years, but I just couldn’t keep up. I just kind of zoned out when they would start and I’d reflect that if either of them were with me at a WoW convention they’d hear just as many letters or in DC with the locals.

    We went to see the Baltimore Aquarium on Friday during the day and that evening came into Baltimore suburbs for a Dinner Theater. We saw the play Midlife the Crisis Musical at Toby’s Dinner Theater in Columbia and were very entertained.

    Each night the three of us were up into the wee hours of the evening like old times and our bodies will be paying for it I think for the next few days. We did get to show Rosy the sites of DC, the fun of Baltimore (that can be had with your clothes on and your wallet still intact) and laughter which she desperately needed.

    I hope that the next time I have a few days with old friends that they remember how old we are and that even as the youngest of us – I complain the loudest!