Naked Truth

Two of my favorite things to do on vacation are sun-bathing and swimming in the nude. Not at the YMCA or the community pool, I go to places where it’s perfectly legal to shuck off my clothes and just lie around in the buff. It’s freeing, relaxing and truthfully feels really good. Yes, all the important parts have several layers of SPF, I wouldn’t want to burn something I had plans to use later. I’m not a gym rat, don’t have six-pack abs or sculpted pecs – I’m just an average guy with love handles, but I’m perfectly comfortable in my own skin and have no reservations when it comes to taking it all off.

I’ve been to several “clothing optional” resorts in Ft Lauderdale and one in Palm Springs, most of them are male only, but a couple would have allowed women to also run around nude – never happened while I was there. While at one of the resorts the local health inspectors came to do a tour of the facility and one of them was a woman. Each resort is a little different in design and those who are attracted to the place. One place I stayed at in Ft Lauderdale targeted couples, another mature men; most though are just clothing optional guest houses that cater to gay men.

Almost without exception (the exception is the one place I stayed in Palm Springs) very few guests actually partake in the “Clothing Optional” part of the resort. Guys who DO have six-pack abs, sculpted muscles galore  with glistening golden skin that makes your mouth water – nope, they keep their trunks on. Even at night these guys, and yes, some of them are just average looking fellows and some have bigger tits than Dolly Parton, keep their trunks on. It boggles my mind.

I don’t even need them to take off their trunks for any kind of sexual satisfaction – I just can’t grasp why you wouldn’t go naked if you could. It’s like going to Amsterdam and not smoking pot or hash while your there (I’m practicing sobriety so that would be a no-no, but I had ever gone when I was still using and it was perfectly legal there I damn sure would have) and even suggested to a boss a few years ago that she be sure to try hash if she never had during her trip there. You’ve booked a room for a few days at a clothing optional resort, but you keep your junk all confined – ridiculous.

During one stay down there, another person that liked being naked checked in during my stay – he was a senior citizen and most of us watched him walk to his room with the bellman. When he came out wrapped in his towel I was glad that another person wasn’t shy. Not only wasn’t he shy, he was a close talker and sidled up next to you whenever he struck up a conversation. He chatted with everyone and it was the exact same each time. It was uncomfortable, not because he was naked – that would have been ok, but rather due to one of his testicles being the size of a softball. It was the elephant in the living room, we all were kind of looking at it without looking at it and when he was sidled up next to us and chatting away we were doing whatever we could to not look at it and find a way to get away politely. So, yeah, OK, in that circumstance maybe staying in your trunks could be advisable, but he was probably very happy to have that nut hanging free in the breeze and the pool.

I know there are naked gay camp sites, but I’m reluctant to go to such a place – I’ve never been a fan of camping. Give me a nice clean pool, a lawn chair and some SPF 30 and that’s all I need.

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