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Unsettling

To be honest with you I’ve dumped guys for quite a few shallow reasons. Reasons that some friends have suggested were worth overlooking if the other parts of him were acceptable. I’ve disagreed on numerous occasions – which is why I’ve been single so long probably. However, if I’m going to invest in something long term I certainly don’t want a flawed version.

For the record I’ve dumped guys for the following reasons (just a small sampling, the whole list is much too long):

  • Bad breath – Once is perhaps understandable, twice is unforgivable but everyday, all the time is a deal breaker
  • Obsessions – one particular guy was very obsessed with Christmas – tears everyday, it was just overwhelming
  • Angry Penis – you know the kind red, bulbous, throbbing. I really need this thing to look happy, not pissed off that I’m interested in it.
  • Odd penis – it bent the wrong way, looked droopy and sad – as I said earlier, this thing should look happy that I want to spend so much time with it – I’m happy, shouldn’t it be happy too?
  • Odd first name – I’m not going to tell you what it was, but I couldn’t find myself whispering it, or moaning it or even calling to the kitchen
  • Sick Dog – this one proves I’m heartless, I didn’t know the guy that well and helping to take care of his sick dog while he was traveling just didn’t fit in my plans (he also had a small penis – the sick dog was the last straw … no, it wasn’t quite THAT small)

Now I’ve heard people talk on both sides of the coin: settle or don’t settle. My Mother had been married 8 (it’s a guesstimate some were questionably done) times by the time she died and I really have no intentions of following her path to matrimony. Why on earth would you want to go through that so many times, that most of the guys ended up being real losers was a testament to her picker. She should have stopped at number two, all her children had been born at that point. For all I know the men actually wanted to marry her, but that seems odd to me, would you want to marry someone that had been married 5 previous times? 6?

I’ve been fortunate to have lots of guys fall in love or lust with me. A few have become obsessed with me, one is a stalker and the police have been notified. I don’t know what I do that has this effect on them, but it really does happen. If I could have found a way to turn it off I likely would have. In most of those cases I’ve not fallen in love with them, I faked it for a while but kept looking for that spark that I hoped would be there and it just never arrived.

Others told me that the spark was a myth, that it didn’t happen that way and I should try to look at love more realistically. That I should have given some of those guys more time or another chance. Truthfully, I didn’t really want to, once I set my mind to the end it’s the end.

So I refused to settle. I still refuse to settle. If he’s going to be mine until the end of time, I want him to be just how I want him.

Good things come to those who wait. I found the guy I’d been waiting for. I got my spark, he got his. He says he loves Christmas, this doesn’t bother me, he likes the Wizard of Oz, which does bother me, but he hasn’t insisted that I have to watch it with him (don’t get any ideas). We’ve just started our journey, but we’re both very hopeful for the future.

2 thoughts on “Unsettling

  1. Pingback: The Book of Jamez 2010 in review | The Book of Jamez

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