You do things for friends, things you wouldn’t normally do, like go to that wedding just so she has a date or eat at that restaurant that only serves fish when your allergic to seafood or watching her dogs while she’s on a cruise.

I’m not a dog hater, I like most animals and find they like me as well. Hell, I have two cats at home (Q and Mouse) who adore me. I love Suzanne’s dogs, Cotton and Simba and I loved Rocky… Its Destiny I hate.

Destiny, the Shih Tzu with the mother of all oral fixations, she’s been licking everything in her path for the last 12 years. She’s a black and white hairball totally dedicated to her mother. She knows she’s the queen bee, she is the favored, the one that goes with mommy on trips the one that is always on her lap.

Why do I hate her? Simple, at 3:02 a.m. she had a conversation with her siblings, placed a bet I’d wager…

“Want to get a treat out of Uncle Jamez?” she asked

Cotton and Simba both look doubtful that she can accomplish this task, but the confidence in her eyes persuade them to believe her.

“You two just play along, and we’ll have a week of extra treats and luxury, Uncle Jamez is easy.”

At 3:08 a.m. she sets her plan in motion, runs up to Uncle Jamez’s face and starts licking away, he pushes her away and says stop… not to be discouraged, she barks, not once or twice but 37 times right into his ear… the other two dogs, move around, Cotton paws at him and whimpers just a little… Simba, just standing up makes noise to wake war zone.

Sure enough, Jamez wakes up, assuming it must be 5:00 or 6:00 to let the dogs out for their morning business… but on his way he sees the clock… 3:10 a.m. Lets the dogs out anyway, lets them back in and sure enough gives them a treat….

This scene repeats at 5:00.

I HATE DESTINY