Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Tag: tolerance

  • Normally Do Not Mix

    I was thinking today of my friends (especially Suzanne, it’s her birthday) in the world and how incredibly varied they all are. Not all of my friends are in 12 step programs but I think being in a 12 step program has made it easier for me to become friends with a wide array of people. Going to a meeting you will likely run into a gamut of characters – bikers, politicians, house wives, students and divas to name a few. We all manage to get along as we have a common solution, a common peril that unites us. We stand together or we fall alone – it’s been proven to be true – this 80-year-old program changed more than just the lives of Alcoholics, it’s changed the world. (the book made the Library of Congress’s top 100 books that changed America LINK)

    12 step programs not only make members better… they somehow transform those around them into people members can tolerate. 🙂 I kid, I kid… If you work the 12 steps the result is intended to be “an entire psychic change”, some say a “spiritual awakening”. That entire psychic change is a pretty marvelous thing in my experience – it made me a different person, some argue that drugs and alcohol hid the real person, but I’m not sure. What it did do was fill my life with some really wonderful people who I don’t just tolerate… i need them, they fill holes in my brain and turn calamity to calm.

    “WE are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.” Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Chapter 2, There is a Solution, p 17

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  • Age Tames the Monster

    I think I’ve gotten over being so critical of AA meetings that are being run wrong or AA’s that are stupid… well maybe i’m not completely over that last part. It’s either I’ve given up on a clear message being delivered in meetings or I’m just tired or maybe errors happen and I just don’t notice anymore because it happens so frequently.

    Tonight for example I was sitting next to a guy at a meeting who was taking a photo of someone at the podium… and I didn’t even notice. There was a time I would have berated the fool loudly during the speakers share… but I didn’t notice, I wasn’t looking around the room for what was wrong (I do that see this post  ). I was rather shocked at myself and then spend most of the rest of the meeting wondering what had happened to me (ok, maybe just a few minutes but it seemed a lifetime).

    When I was new I’d leave meetings that would read non-conference approved material. Or spout traditions as to why this and therefore. I was a strict task master when it came to everything being by the book in AA. I was intolerant of anyone who did it anyway but mine – and I was right, of course.

    I don’t think I care less, I still have a deep love and respect for AA as I understand it, but I realize (maybe) that other people might have their own path that is going to lead them in the same direction – that’s hard for me. I so want to be right… most of all… but also want to think of the world in black and whites most of the time – middle grounds don’t work well for me.

    I’ll use this over used example on my blog – I want to shake your hand if you come to a meeting. Some people will hug me and not shake my hand and I won’t hug back… I’ve told them if they read all the literature AA has to offer they’ll see the handshake is mandatory and the hug is excessive (this is how I encourage newcomers to read the stuff… ), to be fair I only said this in jest to a few folks that hug first and then walk away leaving my hand empty, and hurt just hanging there. Sigh.

    Tonight someone at the meeting summed up the Beatles Let It Be as “fuck it” or that’s what I heard and I rather liked that, and I love and respect the Beatles.

    What matters to me today is if I do what I’ve always done, one day at a time. If I continue to show up early, shake hands, help set up, read the Big Book and the traditions over and over again and make sure AA is there for the next guy… I guess I can do that without being all rigid, but I don’t have to like it. 🙂

  • Blotting Out the Past Doesn't Make it a Better World

    They’re taking the Dukes of Hazard off of TV Land; there is talk of digitally editing the episodes so the confederate flag isn’t displayed. This is going to be as effective as a means of stopping racism as digitally editing out the smoking scenes from old Tom and Jerry cartoons was to combat smoking (this was big idea back in 2006). I’m not so sensitive that I think we should erase the word faggot from songs by Dire Straights or Guns and Roses and when I listen to them today I’m not hurt or shamed by them, it was a different time and a different place. There was a time, during the crusades, when you believed in the Christian God or you were slaughtered – but I don’t think taking down the crucifixes all over the world is going to undo the war, hate and bigotry caused by the church still today.

    I was re-reading a favorite book the other day and came across one of my favorite characters talking about being too good

    “It breeds intolerance, rigidity, a belief that because I am right, those who don’t believe as I do are wrong.” Fizban Dragonlance – Dragons of Spring Dawning

    What’s that old nursery rhyme we used to chant – Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me… nor will symbols of ancient prejudices, cartoons smoking or cars built for transporting moonshine in the south.

    Are American’s so easily offended today that we cannot look at history and still grow past the error of our ways? Are we so stuck on the image of a perfect society we’re unable to see the ugliness that creates the character and uniqueness that is us? I don’t know.

    Taking that flag down isn’t going to magically change the landscape of black America, it’s an empty gesture that only serves to blot out the past. If we erase the history of our nation how are we going to learn from it and not be doomed to repeat the mistakes we made then? If we refuse to use the past mistakes as ways to grow and be better then I’m not sure it matters at all.

    Maybe it’s that I’m living in a red state now and possibly influenced more and more by Fox News that is playing at every establishment I frequent… but I thought were were above all that petty nonsense. Does a flag represent hatred, death and intolerance from years past? sure, so does the Star of David if we think of how it was used during the Holocaust, so does the cross if we think about it used in the Crusades or the people who hung that imaginary guy Christians claim to believe in.

    My liberal friends seem to grow more and more intolerant of everything. Nothing is safe, nothing is secure from their judgement – any day now Superman will be associated with Hitler youth and the call will ring from the rooftops to stop publishing him.. or erasing any images of him being a bully. That isn’t a place I want to see, but it’s where I fear we are headed.

  • Freedom of and from Religion

    In Washington, DC on a Sunday morning you cannot purchase alcohol until after 10:00 a.m. Do you know why? Because the churches want to make sure you attend church – where it is legal to drink from the blessed cup while your eating flesh. This is the alcoholic in me speaking, but it does kind of irk me that religion has its influence on a law. Restaurants in DC can be fined for serving alcohol before 10:00, but it’s ok to go to the church and drink up. (Yes, I know it’s only a sip of blood… er wine.)

    This isn’t the only place that churches influence the laws in our country that supposedly practices freedom of religion. The First Amendment:

    “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

    This doesn’t actually scream out to me that churches need to stay out of policy and law – but I think that’s what it means. Check out this Wiki article and see what others are saying: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Establishment_Clause_of_the_First_Amendment

    As it stands right now the Catholic and Mormon Churches (among others) are opposed to same-sex marriage, and homosexuality is a sin in their eyes. According to them the only legitimate place to get fucked up the ass is in the back of the church and then only if your under the age of consent.

    To the Parishioner who continues to put money in the plate each Sunday or monthly or annually. I want you to look at what your contribution to the Pedophile Pimps is paying for:

    Catholic Church Sex Abuse Settlement ($166.1 Million)- March 25th, 2011 : http://www.youralaskalink.com/news/Catholic-Church-Sex-Abuse-Settlement-118693789.html

    Catholic Church 2007 ($660 Million) : http://www.voanews.com/english/news/a-13-2007-07-15-voa6-66567222.html

    LA Catholic Church ($250 Million): http://www.americancatholic.org/news/clergysexabuse/

    Bishop to seek Treatment: http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/europe/news/article_1631904.php/Bishop-in-church-sex-abuse-scandal-leaves-Belgium-for-treatment

    This list goes on an on, so please don’t think that the money you contribute to your local church stays there – it doesn’t. It helps pay the moving costs of the monsters you let near your children so they can find new victims.

    The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says I should be tolerant of the religious – but it also says that as children of God we crawl before no one. I’ve been commenting lately on Facebook and Huffington Post on the failings of churches, religions and their chosen leaders. I didn’t initiate the attacks, I’m just fighting back against the hate spewing, intolerance of them. I’m considering adopting a motto for myself: Hate the Christian before they can hate you.

    Recent Church Leader Scandals:

    Joe My God: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2011/04/this-week-in-holy-crimes_10.html (there really IS enough of these for a weekly version)

    Eddie Long: http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/103798754.html (I’ve seen the texted photos)

    Falwell and Robertson: http://www.snopes.com/rumors/falwell.asp

    Yes, these people are human and have faults – perhaps they should quit tossing stones at others.