My best friend, Suzanne, is in a band named “Magg Dylan” with her husband Brucifer, bassist Marcus and drummer Adam. Though they’ve had a few line up changes, they’ve Suzanne and Brucifer have been in the band since it’s creation in 2018.
I asked ChatGPT who Magg Dylan was and they gave me this:
“As of my last update in January 2022, Magg Dylan is an American rock band. They are known for their blend of alternative rock, metal, and post-grunge sound. The band has gained popularity for their energetic live performances and emotionally charged lyrics. However, please note that the band’s status or activities may have changed since then, so I recommend checking the latest news or their official channels for the most up-to-date information.”
ChatGPT
I’m biased, I know, but they’ve put out some good music that you can find on all the platforms. They only released on album so far: Amethyst in 2020, released days before the Covid struck the world. As a result they didn’t get to tour or promote the album but it’s a good solid record.
Some of my favorite songs on the Amethyst album include: Delusional and F.I.N.E. are my favorites I think. Suzanne is the lyricist and Brucifer does most of the music to go with it. Suzanne draws most of her ideas from life, sobriety and struggles with both. I’m unsure where Brucifer get’s his musical mumbo jumbo, but he’s got some good stuff.
Two years they won awards from Veer Magazine for the job they do, yet they stay humble and ready to do more and more. They are very dedicated to their fans and always try to keep them involved and invite them to video shoots and more.
I was fortunate enough to star in a video of theirs titled: Warning! where I play a psychiatrist treating Suzanne for her various maladies. It was fun to be in the video and take part in their rise to stardom.
For the last couple years Magg Dylan has been releasing singles and there are quite a few good ones I’ll list below:
They’ve done a couple covers too – one of the best is Stand Back a cover of Stevie Nick’s hit. They really make it pop. Also they did You Oughta Know a cover of Alanis Morrisette
Take a listen to some of their songs on Apple Music, Spotify or wherever you may listen to good music. I’ll be here to chat with you if you have any questions or want to know more about this band.
My friend Suzanne recently did some estate planning with her family and I reminded her what I would like done. She suggested maybe I should write it down so it’s known. I suppose that’s a good idea.
First, if a situation were to occur where I was in a vegetative state, a coma or incapable of breathing or living on my own…. I have no desire to live in such a state. I barely had a desire to live at all, so adding any of those to the list would be a no brainer, no thank you. Pull the plug, donate my organs if they can be and let me go.
In the event that I were to perish, hopefully sooner rather than later, below is what I was thinking at this time and for a while now. I believe I’m of sound mind, depression and anxiety, but sound.
AFTER LIFE
When I die, I believe I’m dead… that’s it. I don’t believe in an eternal life where I would either get to spend time romping through the Elysian fields or dancing in the flames of hell. Don’t buy into it. I know there are people that are living for the opportunity to go to heaven where they get to spend eternity with their loved ones…. eternity with people you can’t tolerate for a Thanksgiving. I just don’t see it happening. What version of those people are you going to see – the 98 year old version nor the teenage version, what would it even be like… but I digress.
If I’m wrong… and there is a spirit or soul that sticks around or goes somewhere, I don’t plan on staying near where I lived…. how boring would that be. I would explore other countries or planets and be anywhere but at my body or gravestone. So there is no need to go “talk to me” at a headstone, I wouldn’t be there. And honestly, I don’t want to listen to you talk to me about how much you miss me or what you did today, I’m good, move on.
In the DC Comics Universe there is a character named Death, she’s a Neil Gaiman creation. When each person dies she visits them and tells them it’s time, she says “You get what everyone gets, you got a lifetime” or something like that. She also seems to say that death and after are personal to each person, that they get a say in what is to come (if anything). Well, if that occurs I’ll just choose nothingness, to be gone and my consciousness to be no more, I’ve had more than my share and I don’t need further adventures.
REMAINS
I want to be cremated. Takes up less space and is eco friendlier…. so many cemeteries, so much space used up. I’m not a fan of burial or a tombstone with my name on it. Don’t want people to go to some random graveyard and think some part of me is there, there isn’t.
I wouldn’t mind if my ashes were to become a part of a tree, I think that’s cool and a good use of a decomposing body. The Living Urn is one such site that caters to that kind of thing. I’d prefer a lemon tree, but again, I’m not there so it won’t matter. If that proves ineffective cost wise or logistically then just burn me and do whatever with the ashes you like, won’t matter to me…. Well that’s not true. I have no desire for my remains to be taken to Wisconsin, no thank you… on the off chance that a soul would be bound to the “body” I wouldn’t want to be bound there. In face it would be awful. I can imagine a hell where I’d be trapped in an eternal Wisconsin winter and I just don’t want that.
When my biological father passed they cremated him and gave me a small vial with some of the ashes. If my siblings would want such a thing I guess that’s ok. Unfortunately I do realize part of me would then end up in Wisconsin, but I’m feeling generous.
Suzanne can decide if she wants to do anything with the ashes, Really up to her. She may place me on a shelf next to her dogs and that sounds like a fine place to be.
BELONGINGS
I don’t really own much. I did pay off my Smart car, so there is that, but it’s old and has little value. I consider myself a minimalist… oh not like a crazy person you’d see on TLC or Showtime or something. I just don’t have much. I’ve always done an inventory regularly for things I own – Is this is thing I use? Is this a thing I like? Do I really need to hold on to it? Does it have sentimental value? Is that value dated? lol
The comic book collection I own is quite small now compared to how much I had 10 years ago. So there isn’t much there. I don’t believe there is value in the issues I own, but you could try to sell them. It would be better to donate them for some kids to read. My love for reading started with an old X-Men comic. It was beat up, had no cover and was a dorky story. It was at my great aunt Marion’s house and it was the only thing that helped keep my sanity during the visit there. I don’t remember much of the issue, I know they were in the Savage Land and ran into Kazar and Iceman was more of a snowman than an ice man. Anyway, reading was one of the things I enjoyed in life and if I could pass that love onto other kids then that’d be a good thing.
Digital Library I don’t know if this is something that can be given to anyone, but just in case. I have a little over 4000 songs on iTunes. Garth Brooks is uploaded from Amazon, but other than that they are all from iTunes. If you do the math with each song costing .99 that’s almost $4,000, but of course many of those songs were more than that. There is everything in my library from Boyz II Men, Magg Dylan, Tim McGraw, Josh Groban, Zac Brown Band… just a nice variety. My Apple video library has 329 items… some of those are series so many more than 329 as I collected whole series. Audible – has 151 titles, that’s a lot of listening and a lot of them I listened to over and over… and read too. Speaking of reading, there are 2060 books in my Kindle library, read every one. Comixology (now owned by Amazon) I have 1660 digital comics. I liked the idea of Comixology and loved reading comics that way, but there is something about the feel of a comic in your hand that is better. Just for the record when Amazon bought it they screw it up and it’s less user friendly now. I think that’s it for official digital purchases.
Superman. Well I do have some Superman memorabilia. I don’t think any of it has value other than to me. I didn’t take the best care of it, One of my statues has a cape that has broken off and is just perched upon his shoulders, shame cause I liked that one too. There are glasses, lights, lunchboxes, Funkos, action figures and statues. Posters, a large portrait (a gift from my friend Katelyn), rings… a wide assortment. This is really up to Suzanne to decide what to do with those items. If she wants to dole some of them out to people that want something to remember me by that’s fine. Otherwise they can be sold on Ebay or donated to some charity place. Passing my love of Superman on to a kid would make my day. Makes me think of Donnell and our time together 😦
Notable Items There is a portrait of me that was done by my friend Ron a few years ago, actually there are two I just saw one of me shirtless in a mirror. Suzanne may want to keep it, if not then to whomever. I was at a party for a friend and this guy with a camera started taking photos of me. At first I didn’t think anything of it but after a while it got creepy, so I confronted the guy and he said he was a painter and wanted to paint me, he found me to be desirable and needed to get that out. So he painted me and it was pretty good, check out the link and imagine me 10 years ago lol.
Computer and tech, I own an iMac, iPad, iPhone … I like Ithings lol I’d sell them. I have content on my computer, some writings, some porn, all my photos. Suzanne is my secrete keeper so she has access to my systems if I were to pass away. You can set this up with Apple yourself, was pretty simple.
Art, there are two pieces of art in my room. One is of a guitar player who looks like the Question from DC comics and one is of a puppet with a broken heart. I liked them enough to spend money on them. They’re up for grabs, whatever Suzanne wants to do with em.
I think that’s it… not much like I said.
FINANCIAL
There is a life insurance policy through work, Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have much in savings or in checking for that matter, I lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck like a fool. There is a 401K and Roth through work too, again Suzanne is the beneficiary. I don’t have money to leave anyone, don’t feel bad about that either.
MY FRIENDS
Many people loved me as a friend, as family. I was fortunate. Suzanne and Eric were my best friends, for 30 years or more they’ve always been there and I”m grateful.
I wasn’t the best friend I could have been I suppose. Very selfish with my time and energy and not much for crowds of people or small gatherings. I said “no” to doing something more times than I should have. I have pretended to be sick to get out of some situations.
I stole from some of you, lied to some of you, stepped on your toes, meddled where I shouldn’t have… I could go on and on. I’m human after all and made mistakes. I’ve tried to right many of them and live a better life, but sometimes I’ve made the same mistake twice. I’ve been forgiven, loved anyway and shown better ways.
Many times I made a friend out of someone I didn’t expect, I learned to love those I first wanted to shun, I adapted and adjusted to let those people in.
Thank you for taking the time and energy to get to know me. Thank you for tolerating me, loving me in spite of me and being there.
MY FAMILY
It’s complicated really, I suppose it doesn’t have to be, but it is. I consider myself of two families. One is my biological and one my foster. I got two and that makes me luckier than most.
My biological parents both died in their 50s. I don’t have much positive to say about either of them, they weren’t good examples, good parents or good. There are those who says they did the best they could could, but I don’t that’s true. I didn’t mourn them and don’t miss them.
My foster parents, my Ma and Pa, loved me unconditionally. They taught me to be responsible, independent and dependable. My Pa passed in 2008 and I bawled like a baby, it was hard for me. My Ma insists I come home every year for Christmas and she knows how much I’m not a fan of winter, so I go every year and I enjoy myself. I love my Ma.
I loved my siblings each for different reasons. I have fond memories of times we spent together. Laughter, tears, drama… all a part of it I suppose. Thanks for tolerating me and loving me.
IN CLOSING
I was just doing my taxes after receiving a notice from PayPal that I had a 1099K… which I had no idea what meant. I looked it up and saw it was in reference to some gambling I did on the Super Bowl in 2022. I placed a $100 bet on who would score the first touch down and I won $855, pretty nice… but now it’s going to take a bite out of my refund. That’s life.
My favorite book was The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, it always made me laugh no many how many times I read it. It’s quirky and odd, like me.
I loved listening to music and singing along with all the songs. My memory was always good about remembering lyrics but forgetting important things. I really liked all genres of music – but I think you’ll find the majority of the music in my iTunes library is country.
Work – I was very lucky to have a few great jobs. Some of them didn’t last more than 5 years or so but for a while it was a good job. I’m glad I got to work with Jim, one of the finest human beings on the planet. I’m glad I dipped my toe into the world of insurance. And I’m glad I got to start selling things, I kind of like it.
Thank you to everyone who interacted with me in my life. It was interesting. I am, however, glad to be gone. Did all the things I wanted too, loved all the men I wanted to, spent all the time I could bear with people. Now I’m ready to move on.
Yesterday I spent some time looking at old posts. I’ve been writing in this blog for about over 15 years now, so there is a lot to go over. There are some stories I don’t recall writing and when I look at them they don’t appear to be something I would write…. like this post on some stories I was writing: Stories I don’t recall those stories and don’t see them in my drafts folder so I’m not sure where I got them.
I do like the short story I wrote, Max, but I think it may be a bit overwritten I’m not sure. The end bothers me some, but it’s a good story overall and I like it. I like the idea of this story The Extractor.
There is this story which is a little odd but has promise, but I feel no connection to it, like I didn’t write it. It’s odd. Or this one which started out so well and then stalled. A lot of my stories seem to stall after a bit, I get bored with them. Sure I have a way to continue them but I get bored and think the reader will be bored as well. I have to find a way to keep my own interest along with the readers.
Most of my writings are about personal things and not made up stories. I write in this blog a lot of recovery stuff, very sternly and strict teachings as I saw them. Work, driving, health, tests, school… a lot of stuff about me and what’s going on.
At the bottom of each post WordPress puts three or four stories that may be akin to the story/post you just read. It’s a nice way to jump around my blog and see what I’ve written and maybe how I’ve improved in my writing.
I wanted to post something today, and this is a cheat cause I’m linking to old stories, but I still count it as a post. 😉
I recently paid off my little car so she’s all mine now.
She’s a 2013 Smart Passion For Two, gray in color and a little squirrel on the road. She winds in and out of traffic with ease and can slip into the tiniest spots. I named her Fourtwome as 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything and it’s in the name – “for two” so it seemed to fit. I think she likes the name, she’s never complained. She’s an automatic, but you can also use her as a manual, with paddle controls…had to do it once, see below. She’s surprisingly roomy, enough for me to fit in comfortably and any passengers I’ve had have said they thought they’d be cramped, but they’re not.
I, with the aid of my friend Jim, drove her out to Virginia Beach from Phoenix about 4 years ago now. She handled the road fine, didn’t give us any problems. She was packed with my stuff, what I didn’t ship I stuffed into her back cargo area, I had a lot back there and we still had room for Jim and I to have suitcases.
My first year in Virginia Beach she had a few issues, nothing serious, just hard on the pocketbook. My second year out here she got stuck like she wanted to get out of gear, but she wouldn’t I had to use the paddle shifters to get her to go. The folks at Christian Brothers Automotive fixed her up for a few hundred dollars and she hasn’t given me a hard time since.
People wave to me at stop lights, car washes or what have you and ask me questions about her:
“How fast can she go?” I’ve had her up to 85 but then she starts to shake, so no faster
“How many miles per gallon do you get?” I think it’s about 38 – 41
“Hey, how much is it to fill that thing up?” depending on gas prices, it’s about $23. She only holds 8 gallons
She gets me to work and back and that’s mostly what I use her for. I have taken her for long trips, 3 – 4 hours away and she does fine. She handles fine next to big semi trucks. I do have problems when people can’t seem to see her though, almost been run off the road a few times and they complain at work about my small car not letting them see the spots been taken.
I’ve done some maintenance on her myself, changed out the headlights and the taillights a couple of times. Some of it is hard to get to, being so small it’s kind of cramped in there, but I hear normal sized cars are the same. There are YouTube shows on everything it seems and that’s how I figured out how to do it.
She’s only got about 82,000 miles on her and I hope she lives to be past 100,000. She’s a good little car and I’m glad she’s mine.
In 2028 the US Government took a dramatic swing from Democrat and Republican to Technocrat. After over twelve years of decline into the superstition of religion and the fear it breeds, the population rose up and replaced those running on old ideas and replaced them with those who had scientific knowledge and acumen to change the course of the country.
Technocrats and the Technocracy movement abolished old ideas keeping the country from progressing. Instead of interfering with scientific progress that might offend the religious we jumped into the deep end and made real change. One of the first major changes, after hard fought years was the removal of tax-exempt status for any religious organization involved in politics at any level. There was first outrage yet afterwards the populace found progress, real progress towards fixing the country and the world was happening. What faith and fear held back inquiry and investigation into the worlds of science blossomed new generations and ideas. (more…)
For Christmas one year I was given a Hershey’s Kiss 3D puzzle and another puzzle. The Hershey’s Kiss puzzle was little plastic chocolate colored pieces with pegs and holes… it didn’t have many pieces so I solved it quickly and wondered what possessed my mother to buy me a puzzle.
It occurred to me that it was likely someone providing gifts to needy children. Mom wanted us to have a good Christmas so she signed us up for a charity. That was rather forward thinking of her – she was very self centered.
The other puzzle I can’t remember except it was solved easily too – a chain comes to mind. Soon I was finished with my Christmas presents and wondered what I’d do now for entertainment.
Somewhere over the Atlantic ocean a man named Eric john listened to the ice cubes hit his glass as he swirled his drink over the sound of the droning of the aircraft and the various conversations by the other passengers. The brandy waters down by the ice cubes but would have to do, it was a last minute flight he was lucky to get a first class seat at all.
He hadn’t had time to shave before departure, as always his face by the end of the day looked like it had been a day or two, many men admired the speed he could grow a beard but he found it tiring to have to shave so often. The salt in his dark beard bothered him more than he could explain – age had caught up with him before he was ready. That’s what the old always claimed, time goes faster as you get older. He should have listened.
He closed his eyes set his seat back and focused on his destination, he was finally going to put this all to rest. The boy had been found after all these years, in just a few hours this journey would reach it’s conclusion. That woman… that woman would pay for her interference and meddling.
He was still lost in thought when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, assuming the flight attendant must have something very important to say. Across the aisle was a pretty blonde woman, she was dressed as a professional would be and was smiling at him.
“Do you know the time?” she asked
Eric John couldn’t quite believe the question, the interruption to his own thoughts and her rudeness. He stared at her with a cold glare, reached into his pocket for his ear buds and lost himself in his music. He overheard her mumble something but just closed his eyes, focusing on the music.
Women, he thought, were always a bother. This one was just another in a long line of nuisances he’d run across in the last few years. Not to be trusted, not to be held close… only to be used and then very carefully, so as not to get caught in their schemes or let them ruin his plans.
In just a few hours the plane would land and he would finally retrieve the boy – that was all that mattered now, nothing else can interfere with that.
Earlier chapters of this story begin here: Eric John
The beginning of this story can be found here: Eric John
Eric John had been missing two days now.
The police had questioned Mrs Smithton, but she had slipped into a shock where she couldn’t seem to talk at all. She would just stare straight ahead at nothing. Once in a while a tear would form in her eye and run down her cheek. The cheery, helpful Mrs. Smithton that had helped so many children was gone, she might never make it back from this nightmare.
The police also placed an APB and combed  areas between the Smithton’s house and the school but nothing turned up. They were already talking about the length of time the boy had been missing. They started wondering if Mr. Smithton had been part of a larger child sex slavery ring that they should be looking for.
Also were questions of the boy’s father, who was he and did he just come back for the boy and the mother. The missing mother was a quandary – where was she and why hadn’t she come forward after hearing of the boys disappearance on the news.
Children’s services were trying to stay out-of-the-way. This was now a police matter, they decided, and the best resources available were being used – they had other children to look after. (more…)
You can read earlier parts of this story starting here: Eric JohnÂ
Mrs. Wirsing was worried sick when Eric John didn’t show up for class after the second period. She just knew something bad had happened, the children’s services worker that she had met had assured her he would be in the same school district. Time just seemed to drag as she waited for lunch so she could call him.
The call was answered right away and she expressed her concerns, which actually gave the children’s services worker some fear himself. Kathy was very reliable with the kids placed in her home and would have let the school and children’s services know if Eric John were sick or unable to come to school. After getting off the phone with Mrs. Wirsing he rang the Smithton’s but all he could get was a busy signal. After several tries with no difference he decided it would be best to head on over there to check on the boy’s safety. (more…)
One of the things I don’t think I do well when I write a story is dialogue. It just doesn’t seem to come off well and I don’t like it. I’ve done it a few times where it seems ok but when I look at it I have doubt about what I’ve done and if it should be there at all.
I remember reading one of my favorite writers (of course I can’t recall who) writing that everyone thinks their dialogue is horrid, and they’re right. With practice, they said, it gets better and they understand how to make it flow more. Anyway.. I’m not doing that Ha! But maybe the next project I start working on.
When I started writing Eric John I had some initial dialogue between he and his mother – and it just didn’t sit well with me. The initial chapter where she says good morning to him is the only real quotations in the whole chapter. I don’t bring it back until chapter six either and then briefly so.
I think it’s actually worked out nicely – I’m able to get across what I want to without any real trouble and without anyone having to figure out what who said to who and when all in quotation marks and commas with a thesaurus full of “said” words.
I’m unsure what’s all going to happen next really – I haven’t thought the whole story out. Parts of it come to mind and I get them down and see where they lead me. I’m really not sure what’s going on with a large thread but I think it’ll become clear soon (lets all hope so) but most of what Eric John will experience I know already I just have to finish the journey there.
The foster home story I pulled good things from my memories and twisted them. Its horrible to think like that as I know that for me the experience was a good safe one. But I wanted to try to convey the fear that I felt on the first day and some of that I talk about – eating a big bowl of cereal and a large pantry with a hundred varieties of food and a very nice loving mother type… but all the bad imagery is just make believe. I’m a supporter of foster homes and getting people help when they need it – most foster families are good and help families.
In my head this is all taking place in some English town – never been to an English town so it’s probably all wrong but this is what I’m picturing. When I’m writing I can see their odd streetlights and different looking cars on the streets. Even the houses in my mind are more European than American… I should work on describing those more.
Anyway, I’m not sure how much more story there is but I’ll share it on here with you folks. Thanks to my readers and sharers I appreciate you and your comments.
