Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Tag: equality

  • Normally Do Not Mix

    I was thinking today of my friends (especially Suzanne, it’s her birthday) in the world and how incredibly varied they all are. Not all of my friends are in 12 step programs but I think being in a 12 step program has made it easier for me to become friends with a wide array of people. Going to a meeting you will likely run into a gamut of characters – bikers, politicians, house wives, students and divas to name a few. We all manage to get along as we have a common solution, a common peril that unites us. We stand together or we fall alone – it’s been proven to be true – this 80-year-old program changed more than just the lives of Alcoholics, it’s changed the world. (the book made the Library of Congress’s top 100 books that changed America LINK)

    12 step programs not only make members better… they somehow transform those around them into people members can tolerate. 🙂 I kid, I kid… If you work the 12 steps the result is intended to be “an entire psychic change”, some say a “spiritual awakening”. That entire psychic change is a pretty marvelous thing in my experience – it made me a different person, some argue that drugs and alcohol hid the real person, but I’m not sure. What it did do was fill my life with some really wonderful people who I don’t just tolerate… i need them, they fill holes in my brain and turn calamity to calm.

    “WE are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.” Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Chapter 2, There is a Solution, p 17

    (more…)

  • Equally Separate

    I was getting my haircut today at my regular barber – all the barbers are black (or African-American if you have to) and the conversation moved to President Obama’s stance on gay marriage. Another one of the customers (also black) said it shouldn’t matter what people do in their bedrooms, if they love one another that should be all that matters. One of the barbers said that there was a black preacher from SC on TV and he said it should be up to the states to decide. There was a lot of head nodding at that…

    But it can’t be up to the states to decide – that’s simply ridiculous. Loving gay couples will be discriminated against in different states, the Federal government wouldn’t bestow partner benefits to survivors, taxes couldn’t be filed together… these are some, non-religious based, rights that gay couples don’t have. Letting each state decide would be a disaster – its one thing to say in this state you can drive 85 MPH and quite another to say in this state if your partner dies you’ll be left penniless and without a say in what happens to his (or her) legacy.

    Our President has stood up and declared he believes gay people should be allowed to get married. That’s pretty amazing for a guy to say in an election year. I’m very proud of him for saying so.

    A lot of folks get all up in arms about the word “marriage” and state that marriage has always been about one man and one woman. I say it used to always be that people of different races couldn’t marry and sometimes still frowned upon when couples of two separate religions get married.

    This isn’t about religion, this is about equal rights.

    Our country supposedly has this thing called “separation of church and state” we aren’t a country that’s run by the church, but it seems like our politicians spend a lot of time worrying about what the church may think and what’s right “according to God”.

    Can you imagine our country if we let churches of all religions dictate what our laws should be?

    • No work on Sunday? Some religions no work on Saturday
    • A Tithe: 10% of your income goes to the church
    • Women are less than, like the Catholic Church where they cannot become priests
    • No naming your teddy-bear Mohammed or drawing your god as a cartoon
    • We’d all have to wear silly hats or headpieces
    • Child molesters would no longer go to prison, just be set up in a new town with access to fresh meat
    • Mormons would allow us to have multiple spouses, as long as they weren’t of the same gender as we
    • Some religions ban dancing
    • Some ban drinking
    • Some religions would teach us that Superman is teaching the use of witchcraft

    This list could go on for quite a few pages I’m sure, but the point I want to make here is your religion – my religion anyone’s religion should have no say on laws and basic civil rights of others in our country.

    I want you to consider what it would be like for you if someone wanted to limit your rights based on their religion or beliefs. I want you to consider what Jesus said about gay marriage:

     

    ” _____________________________________” Jesus Christ

    Keep your religion out of my laws and hope we keep our laws out of your religion.

  • Wedding Wrench

    Planning a wedding can seem like an insurmountable challenge. There are things that keep coming up that I haven’t thought about, things that I thought about but not enough about… it can seem like a lot to get done. Fortunately everything is still months away and will likely go smoother then I anticipate right now.

    I sent an email to a hotel in San Francisco for the reception giving them the parameters of the wedding (e.g. how many people, dates, vegetarian, non-drinkers, and so on) and the next day, as promised, I received a call asking me more details about the event which I provided. I was told someone else would be contacting me about specifics.

    When that someone contacted me it suddenly became clear to her that Bill and I were both guys, I don’t know how she missed it earlier. She then said “Oh, I was told this was a wedding and didn’t realize it was a commitment ceremony, I’m very excited for you both”.

    That was the last I heard from her, I was handed off to someone else who apologized for the “confusion and the change of hands” and said she would be my point of contact from here on out.

    I know it may seem silly and petty to some folks, but it’s not a commitment ceremony – it’s a wedding. I am going to marry the man I love in a church, in front of the people who love us and in the eyes of God. I may not be fortunate enough to get the same rights and privileges that straight couples get on that same day, but I will someday and I resent that you think my special day is “less than”.

    I want someone to explain how my love of someone of the same-sex is somehow not as valid as the eight times my mother married, the three times Rush Limbaugh married or countless others have been married.

    While we were in San Francisco two weekends ago we heard talk that the State of California plans to validate the marriages of any same-sex couples that were married before Prop 8 is finally struck down for good, and they believe it will be. I hope so, but it really doesn’t matter, as far as I’m concerned and as far as the God of my understanding is concerned – Bill and I will be married on June 25.