Who Loves You?

Yesterday a more religious “friend” sent me a Facebook message image of “Jesus Loves You”. This “friend” knows that I’m not a fan of the religious – what I call nonsense and I’m not sure why she did that.

I’m not very tolerant of that kind of thing. I’m just not – I don’t come knocking on your door, holding science books praising quantum physics and asking for money for test tubes… Nor would I send private messages spouting why you’re invisible friend is a threat to humanity as a whole… I’d blog about it sure, but not private message or text.. It’s like walking up to a urinal next to a guy and asking him if he’s had lunch.. it’s just fucking weird, don’t do that.

I responded to my “friend” that I was unfriending her.  Continue reading

The Fire

On fire with AA.

I’ve said that about people before, even had it said of me before – usually it’s when they or I am expressing so much gratitude and love for the program that it’s almost too much … like an over sugary dessert, yes it’s sweet but it’s a bit too much almost evangelical. But since the beginning, and I’m taking the liberty of speaking for others here as well (I’ll ask for forgiveness later), there has been some kind of burning since I got to AA.

At first there was just the spark, a spark of hope – the flimsy reed, that gave us a light to walk towards. “Maybe this AA thing can work for me too”

that spark ignites the first flames in AA (No, we’re not speaking specifically of gay men… but maybe them too) – we get a sponsor, we start participating in the meeting and maybe start relating to others experience.

Our sponsors and our group leaders feed that small fire, they put logs and kindling on it – they give us commitments to group and we soon have a hearth, a  place where our fire usually burns – a home if you will.

When we finally get it, when the solution encompasses us we burn brighter and brighter, hotter and hotter and attract others, they see this roaring fire and are drawn to it, they want the warmth and comfort that we have created.

Once in a while someone will come along with a poker (mmmmm) and stoke the fire, sending sparks here and there and igniting other flames, a torch has been passed to another who will build their own hearth.

Yet sometimes we can forget to feed the fire, we can forget to participate and keep it going – maybe think the fire will sustain itself – we aren’t sharing anymore, its ours we want to just sit there in the warmth and be comfortable. No logs and the fire starts to die down. 

It’s still comforting there, people see the flame and want it, it’s pretty, comforting, attractive – but its slowly becoming smaller and dimmer.

When the wood is burned up and the red glow of the embers is still there, we can still get a little warmth, we can still see the faint glow of hope – but to share it we really need to stoke the fire – we have to have participation and share our fire to keep it strong.

I don’t think there are things that can douse an AA flame once its been started – you hear countless people who go out come back and say they remembered the hope they had found in AA and longed for it. I hope you keep your flames bright and comfortable today – and maybe share a spark.