Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: poem

  • Life’s End

    Life’s End

    It’s right around the corner
    The end of my journey
    What was my destiny?
    Did I live to the fullest?
    Fulfill my dreams?
    Rue and regret,
    Stew and Fret?

    Looking back I see joy
    I see pain
    Tragedy and despair
    Depths of depression
    Steps to recovery
    Flights to new heights

    Wish that I woulda
    Shame that I did
    Memories as a kid
    Easy times came hard
    Hard times came easy

    Who I knew
    Were they true?
    Did I give my self
    Without regret?
    Results of friends
    My safety net

    I don’t believe
    In afterlife
    Of a heaven or hell
    When I expire
    Just over and nothing
    An end




  • Hit Hard

    Hit Hard

    Hit hard
    Can’t stop the tears
    Started with self doubt
    Then came the fear

    There’s a point somewhere 
    A cause of the scare
    An underlying reason
    Some kind of demon

    Want to run away and hide
    Wish I’d already died
    Don’t want to search for clues 
    As to why I’m feeling the blues

    Does it ever stop
    Ever get better
    Climb my way on top
    Only to have it remember

    Been here before
    Doesn’t get better
    Time becomes a chore
    Helps me get sadder

    Darkness closes in
    Comforts me within
    Doesn’t stop the tears
    Just feeds the fears

    Don’t see a way out right now
    Find it hard to want to somehow
    The fear feeds the sadness
    Then comes the madness

  • Damaged Goods

    I’ve talked a bit about EMDR therapy and today during therapy I cried… not bawling, just some tears. I can manage to hold back and just let tears fall, if I could stop that I would.

    EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. We focus on the trauma and then either move your eyes or have other stimulation that uses both sides of your brain… I’m not describing it well here. ugh. (more…)

  • Towel Day – Hoopy Frood #towelday

    Towel Day – Hoopy Frood #towelday

    Today is Towel Day across the globe, mayhap the universe.

    What is towel day you ask?

    Towel Day is the celebration of the life and works of author Douglas Adams. He’s the guy that wrote my favorite book The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

    “Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.” Douglas Adams

    The story begins on Earth – Arthur Dent’s house is about to be demolished, he had just found out this news the day before, seems the plans for this particular bypass had been stored in a deep, dank, dark basement with no electricity. He had been up all night drinking and was quite upset that he wasn’t able to get this nonsense stopped. (more…)

  • Happy 80th AA

    I was thinking today

    About the 80th birthday of AA

    How much has changed from the days of old

    When they’d lock us up or leave us in the cold

    Back in Akron is where it came from

    Two men started a journey

    a movement that changed the world

    one alcoholic talking to another

    one hand reaching out to the hopeless

    how more than one hundred men have recovered from alcoholism

    that’s what the cover page on our book read all those years ago

    now the hundreds are men and women and millions more

    Once, a lifetime ago for some of us,

    we didn’t care about anyone but ourselves

    now we seek out others to help, only giving of ourselves

    A power greater than yourself

    Your own conception of “God”

    That’s all that is necessary to make a beginning…

    Well, and maybe an open mind

    I have 21 years of sobriety

    It doesn’t seem a possibility

    That the man I am today

    Could even be alive this way

    Today, and every day

    I reach out my hand

    Think about the other man

    Share what was so freely given to me

    So another might be free