Revisiting Depression

I have severe depression. It is usually maintained with medications (I take 2: Aripiprazole  and Escitalopram) that keep me level. I still get spikes of depression that come in and cloud up everything and almost always include thoughts of ending it all.  A previous primary care physician suggested I may experience these in cycles, it’s an interesting theory […]

Hit Hard

Hit hard Can’t stop the tearsStarted with self doubtThen came the fear There’s a point somewhere A cause of the scareAn underlying reasonSome kind of demon Want to run away and hideWish I’d already diedDon’t want to search for clues As to why I’m feeling the blues Does it ever stopEver get betterClimb my way on topOnly […]

Diabetes, Depression and Death

This is likely a whiny post. This was your only warning. I’ve recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Many years ago I used to get tested pretty regularly to see if I had diabetes… see my biological father died from complications with diabetes when he was 48 (I just turned 48). His complications were […]

Wounded Me

I haven’t written in a while – that’s the depression I think, why write when nothing matters is a common thought. Why anything when nothing matter? I deleted the bookofjamez site, you can still find those stories here but the site and host name aren’t being paid for anymore. My friend Deborah, (who makes amazing […]

Trying to Let Go

Sometimes, more often that I’d like to admit, I can’t sleep. Insomnia is a big deal and it literally keeps me awake at night. I’ve tried a bunch of different things to combat this – stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, stayed up really late to make myself more tired, took a nap when I first got […]

Two Pills

The depression I have is mostly under control with medication. I was taking Celexa but it stopped working so now I’m taking Paxil which appears to be working again. Working means no dark cloud around world, not everything seems hopeless and I can justify not ending it all. I talk about depression and how I first […]

Promoting Change

Sometimes when I’m trying to make a change in an office I find myself returning to that experiment…  doing the task both ways so they can see how it works and how better it is or, sometimes, see that I was wrong and their way was better. It does help your co-workers and boss to see what you mean sometimes rather than just trying to explain it. 

Purpose

This blog is going to be about work, not particular stories in my office… unless they are relevant but about what it takes to be a Clerk of the Works, how to do things in an office environment that will have you named an indispensable part of an organization..

The Voir Dire

I was chosen for Jury Duty for Maricopa County and today was the day to show up. Like Washington, DC – Maricopa County has a one day, one trial jury process meaning you can serve one trial or one day waiting to get picked and you’ve fulfilled your obligation to the government. Mostly you sit […]