I believed in love.
Despite all the evidence to the contrary I let myself believe that it was possible to be in love. This love thing is a virus that slowly eats away at who you are and then tries to destroy you with its obsessions and compromises. I was so certain that what I felt was true leading me to share my joy with the people closest to me, convincing me to change the very order of my universe to meet loves needs. I’m a fool. That, I think is what’s bothering me most about this whole situation – that I let my guard down and let someone come in and con me.
The evidence has been before me for years: the increasing divorce rate, my mothers failed 7 or 8 marriages, infidelity every where you look in the news in all aspects of race and class; yet I failed to heed these warnings and instead allowed myself to believe that there was something more. I’m a fool. For too long a period I believed in happily ever after and til death do us part.
So now I’m filled with shame, I let myself fall for one of the oldest con games in the universe. That’s disappointing, even more so that I did it publicly and let others see me happy – that’s a mistake I’ll try not to repeat.
Men are only good for one thing, at this point I think they should all be gagged so they can’t lie to me (which is all men do ladies and guys, they’re born that way). Ride em hard and then leave em there, don’t get attached, like a stray dog if you start to feed them (attention, affection, interest) before you know it you’ll be picking up their shit on the sidewalk after they dump on you again and again. Men are dogs, keep em on a short leash and in the back yard.