The Never Ending Apology

Lets say I’m a comedian, politician or what have you. I’m at a big shindig and tell the following joke.

“Some friends of an old gentleman decided to get him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. She went to his house and knocked on the door. Upon opening it she said “Hi I am your birthday present.” He responded, “What am I supposed to do with you?” “I am yours for super sex”, she answers. He replies: “Well I am 90 years old so I will take the soup.”

Chances are I got lots of laughs, but how many people have I offended? Lets count.

1. the Religious Right (come on, they are offended by everything)
2. Politicians (they have to be offended to appease the Relious Right that might vote for them.
3. Parents (the parents who feed their children ritalin like it’s candy, but wont take away their game consoles when they are fat)
4. and possibly… Old men (obviously the old men that are politicians – are there other kinds of politicians?)

I also might be offended, I’m a man… and lets face it… I’m old in some people’s eyes. I’m also offended cause I’m gay, and having this heterosexual lifestyle thrown in my face is just not right.

Rule 42. Don’t take yourselves to seriously

Comedians make jokes, if you can’t take a joke you may want to consider doing away with entertainment in your life; but you should certainly not go see comedians. Rosie O’Donnel is not so much a comedian any more, but she certainly does manage to stick her foot in her mouth alot. Donald Trump is no comedian, but he has money so you laugh and he may pay you.

If the incessant apologizing continues, I’m going to demand apologies from any black comedian I’ve ever heard tell a white man joke. I’ll also demand reimbursment for every advertising campaign that misled me, jail time for politicians that lied, and mental health appointments for being forced to look at bad Hollywood makeovers.

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