The Golden Rejects is the name of the writers group on campus. There are signs all over the school, with quotes from Shakespeare and others; the ad even tells of delicious cookies being served at each meeting. “The Golden Rejects meet in TLC (The Learning Center) every Tuesday night from 6 – 7P.M.“

Notice the “7P.M.” appears bold, I did that cause it appears bold on the ads. Last week, I arrived for this group at 7… but alas, twas not to be. Further examination spotted the ordinary 6 before the bolded 7. This week, I was prepared and knew I could get to TLC (a.k.a. the library) for the 6:00 meeting of the Golden Rejects.

With 6:00 quickly approaching, I queried one of the librarians where the group met. “This week they are meeting down the hall in room 188.” So off I go, happy to begin a journey with this group of scribes.

The smell of popcorn is overwhelming as I approach, the room dark and dialogue emanates from a movie. There sit five women in the dark a huge bowl of popcorn, and two of cookies in the middle of the table.

I ask, cautiously: “Is this the writers group?”

The answer: “yes, yes” and motion for me to be quiet and take a seat. I reluctantly do.

At least two of the women are popcorn pushers. Even after I had declined to have any popcorn I found a cup sized serving in front of me. “You can’t sit there and resist it while the smell keeps coming at you.” they say.

I began to get frustrated as I’ve traveled four miles on my bike to attend this meeting only to watch a movie. I think, perhaps we are only watching a scene or two to show how a movie cannot possibly compare to a book. I sit, and sit, and sit…

I’ve been there perhaps 20 minutes when another person arrives and asks: “did I miss the meeting part?”

“This is the meeting.” said one woman, “we had to start early cause some of us have classes at 7.”

“I don’t understand.” says the late comer… but the other ladies appear engrossed in the film, trapped in their vegetative state.

Me, I got up and walked out. Never did eat their popcorn… JUST SAY NO!!! Thank you Nancy!

I don’t understand either. Hey, writers should know how to communicate… right? So, if your planning on starting a group early, wouldn’t you want to communicate that to potential members? Let them know “this week we’ll be meeting at 5:30 instead of 6” I could have been there at 5:30.

Or hey, maybe let us know: This week we plan to throw out any pretense of looking at writing, instead we will be turning to movies. One woman will talk throughout the movie saying numerous times: “what the writer really meant was…”. I could have stayed home.

Hey, want to talk about what a writer really wanted to convey? READ a PHQin (sound it out) book.

Want people to come to a writers group? Talk about writing or writers.