When I End Up in Prison

When I start to plan on what I will do when I end up in prison I think on it fondly… maybe I’d get solitary confinement, think of all the quiet time I’d have to read books I’ve been meaning to read, just lie there on a cot and read book after book after book… especially in solitary – all that aloneness, singing songs off key, talking to myself about the secrets of the universe….

and then I remember I don’t really do things that are likely to get me in prison… so it doesn’t matter. That quiet alone time with some big muscle daddy in our own cell, so much easier to meet that kind of guy in prison rather than bars and night clubs… yeah, that’s not going to happen, I stay out of trouble now.

then I think, what if I ended up in witness protection program, that could happen… anyone can witness something dangerous just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time… a strange town working some job I never applied for and having to meet new people and make an entire new life… that sounds awful and wonderful at the same time, they’d probably try to get me to act differently and keep a low profile …

But what about AA? could I still go to AA meetings? how do you work an honest program living a lie…can you really trust your sponsor and do a fearless and thorough inventory? Maybe he’s a plant put there by the Feds to test me or working with the mob out to kill me… round ups and conferences would definitely be off the table, I’d be trapped in some small town with crappy AA BAH! I couldn’t do it… just shoot me already!

I’m probably better off here, working a job I like most of the time… going to AA meetings I love and keeping my loved ones foremost in my mind… yeah, I’ll do that for the rest of the day…

Tomorrow though, maybe I’ll get abducted by aliens… now that would be fun!