Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Tag: Math

  • Getting to Know Your Tools

    Sometimes perfect strangers come up to me and ask me to help them with their computer, smart phone or office equipment complications. Happens  a lot in the buildings I work in but I’ve had folks approach me on planes and trains as well. To the best of my knowledge I don’t look that much of a brain. Or do I? 

    I didn’t have a ton of computer training in high school, I did take a programming class but was really bored with it (this was the mid 80s) as it had a lot to do with math and I’m not really a fan of math. What we learned was really simple stuff with dots that moved across the screen or functions that calculated numbers and the like. For me not really of any interest at all and the one thing besides pot and alcohol that held me back in high school was pure boredom.

    What I find most interesting about it is that I can actually help these people, I may not even be familiar with the software or equipment that they’re using but I somehow just know which menu’s to explore to make it function as they had hoped. I figure this stuff is just natural to everyone and wonder why they even call me to ask. In the office building almost everyone who moves in with their new PC’s have issues making the internet work (no one with a Mac has reported an issue – just saying) and I end up in their offices in their Control Panel adjusting their firewall and internet connection settings. It’s usually a day after they move in that someone points them in my direction for help and sure enough after the visit they are up and running.

    Back when I was working overnights at one of my first office jobs I was asked frequently to do computer stuff to help out the secretary. That gave me the opportunity to explore the computer and discover all the ins and outs of what was making it work. I started on the notion (possibly out of ignorance) that I couldn’t do anything to hurt the computer, once I made that decision it was a lot easier to look around and explore a bit. The way I see it, if the company thought a lowly office guy could screw up their system with a few keystrokes they shouldn’t have released it, I still kind of look at it that way and it only gets me in trouble once in a while. After I had done the menial tasks on the word processor or spreadsheet I’d look around in the file and root structures and start to change things to see what would happen.

    The functions of all software programs seem to be laid out the same. We have File, Edit, View, Insert, Format, Tools… well those are the basics. From those basics I can always figure out where to go and what to tweak. I really wasn’t all that happy when Microsoft changed some of the menu functions on their software with Vista, but it’s still all fairly intuitive to me. Once you get used to some basic rules you can work your way out of almost any problem or make your program do what it is that you wanted it to do.

    Before you try anything new back up your system, make sure you don’t lose all your hard work because you’re experimenting with things.

    I tell my regular IT customers all the time “Oh, that’s easy to do” and they look at me with fear in their eyes. Take the time to explore your equipment, the more you use it the more comfortable you’ll feel. I really think that your best option for problem solving on your computer or technological device is to explore it more, find out what it can do and tweak things here and there. The more you play with it the more comfortable your going to feel about it when a little blip threatens to interfere with your project or just your average day. Don’t wait until your having an IT problem to find out more about your tool, it’s a tool and like all tools, you should know how to use it.

  • Boolean Society

    At the 100th Anniversary Convention of the Boolean Society, the worlds most secret organization, the biggest conspiracy of them all is finally revealed. The organizations members with the most clout, money, meet to discuss the history of math and how their vast plan has moved forward over the centuries.

    It all started with two people in particular who hated everything to do with the art, music and theatre. They set out to slow down such frivolous nonsense by creating something that would slow the creative process and keep things more orderly and sane. In the beginning it was difficult, pressing the need to learn a few simple equations to mostly simple folk, but their idea won out—largely due to the complex circles in which the mathematician could talk. They would say, “x + y = y + x is the same as 1 + 2 = 2 + 1” and the common folk would respond, “so x is 1?” The Boolean would then explain that this was the case here, but in other situations the x could equal 252 or the y could equal the one as well. The common folk, immediately decide this is too much for them to decipher and hand over the reigns of all money handling to the Booleans. This goes on for years, the Booleans confusing the populace with x2 + 3y = 35 or x times itself is x2 and x + x is 2x.

    Then a more enlightened person steps forward and proclaims this is nonsense, and starts to preach at the people, these Booleans are twisting the shape of numbers. The Booleans freeze all this persons assets, he becomes a penniless bum mumbling on the streets and considered by most to be insane.

    Booleans find themselves in places of power within governments throughout the world. After years of the same formulas working they decide to change things up lest someone catches on and reveals their entire plot.

    Unexpected help comes from a young woman in her 30s in college, an artist; forced by rules set up by the Booleans to take math courses that have her head spinning. She catches on to the formulas and the math/algebra starts to make sense, in a research paper to her Algebra Professor she creates a series of problems that stump even the top Boolean official. Her creativity, of course, is a death sentence they cannot allow the delicate balance to change even slightly so they kill her. Her ideas, if an answer doesn’t solve properly just cube it times itself is stolen and implemented into the plan immediately. This effect sends several Liberal Arts majors to seek ways to commit suicide.

    The true celebration comes when the Booleans celebrate their greatest achievement ever: the number i. “The number i is such that i = √-1 (which is the same as saying i2 = -1).” The imaginary number. This concept, to further the confusion of the people, meant if an equation didn’t work out, just multiply it by i and it will all make sense. This i keeps all the money flowing into the hands of the Booleans, their vast fortunes shape the very political and socioeconomic landscape for all cultures.

    Chances are, when this is published I’ll be murdered by Booleans quoting such equations as x2 – 6x + 9 = (x – 3) (x + 3) or √-64 is not real. The formulas themselves may be the death of me… pray for your average college student. And God save you from the Booleans.

  • Placement Testing… I hate math

    The best news first… it’s over, the placement test is over and now I can concentrate on other things.

    The results of my English Placement tests are as follows:
    Reading: Score 92
    Writing Skills: Score 92
    now, is that 92 of 100? or 92 out of 1984567? no idea… they say it’s really good thou, so lets assume 100.

    The results of my Math are a little less promising:
    Pre-Algebra: Score 45
    Algebra: Score 28

    After talking with the adviser today, she assures me this is fine, but it does mean I have to take two non credit hours of math… God help me…

    Tonnight at Midnight I get to pick my classes… I’ll let you know.

    jzq