Book of Jamez

55 y/o malcontent, something of a writer

Category: Fiction

  • Alone – Chapter 1

    Leaving

    A group of scientists had finally accomplished what we long hoped for – the ability to travel through the universe and back home without losing our most prized commodity – time. The media were calling it warp drive when it was first announced but it wasn’t really akin to what we had seen on old Star Trek episodes at all. I don’t understand all the techno speak on it I just knew it worked and we were going to be able to save everyone after all. The tech guys called it Ushering – as it wasn’t so much a piloted or driven program but one that we directed to the precise place in space we wanted to go.

    The Earth was doomed. Resources on planet had dwindled, despite the decades of warnings that it was likely to happen we just kept consuming as fast as possible. You couldn’t convince the majority that their every action had consequences; they always assumed it was the other guy. I’m guilty myself: two showers a day, leaving my electronics plugged in and taking the Betram two blocks to the store when I could have walked. (more…)

  • Hope for Christmas

    He’d been trying this “AA thing” for months now – years if you count that time the court made him go after the DUI, like a month of sharing his feelings was going to make a difference. He shared all the time with his friends at the bar and they really understood him.

    “go through the book” they said. There is no way a book written that long ago could help him – he’d read on the internet all the cult like behaviors and the pushing of the book on people. He refused to be brainwashed that easily, he wasn’t stupid.

    They also said get a sponsor but all the girls he asked said no, so when he found that guy with a Harley, now that was something he wanted, wanted real bad. But that guy just wanted to go through the book too, and all that talk about God – no more preaching, thank you. So the latest guy didn’t say much at all and just listened when he whined about how awful life had been treating him – that’s all he every wanted. But why go to meetings for that… One more drunk and he was back again, there has to be a trick to this thing. Sponsorship, meetings, sharing… ugh…

    One night at the speaker and potluck meeting (he only went for the really great Swedish meatballs that pretty girl made) he heard a guy from share about being of service making all the difference. “Great,” he thought “now they want me as slave labor” But he volunteered that night for the Christmas Alcathon, just to see if this would make a difference.

    (more…)

  • Curiosity

    “I love you” he said

    “Why do you say that?” James asked

    Smiling down at the child he states “I say it because you fill my heart with joy”

    “How do you know your heart is filled, is there a meter somewhere?” the boy asks, looking at the man with curiosity and half expecting a gauge to pop out of an arm

    “You just know” said the man “it’s a feeling I get when I see you, when I spend time with you”

    “If you didn’t spend time with me this love would go away?” James asked

    “No, no” chuckled the man “I’ll always love you”

    Love, James decided, was a complicated thing

    Another thing he struggled with understanding – love, fear, sadness, hate. People would often say they “missed him” but their explanations and definitions of missing weren’t logical at all – how can just the absence of his presence affect anything at all – that’s not how the universe works. For things to be affected something has to be there and he was nowhere near those people who “missed him”.

    Humans, James decided, were a complicated thing. (more…)

  • Newcomer

    Here we go again, I think as we stand and grab hands. We sure do pray a lot here, but at least everyone doesn’t hug me here like they did at the NA meeting I attended.

    “Who keeps us sober?” comes a voice from across the hall and then the chanting begins:

    “Our Father who are in heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen”

    I try to let go of the hands but this group does another ritual – “Keep coming back, it works if you work and you’re worth it” they say while pumping our hands in unison together. The man next to me has sweaty hands and I try to wipe off my hands without him noticing, I don’t know why it matters, he must know he has sweaty hands. Try as I might every time I hear that prayer and any of the chantingI picture a Borg Cube talking about assimilation. (more…)