Now I’m 46

Another year has come and gone – this one seemed to go by very quickly for me. I had a lot going on, many changes began here and continued.

I left Alcoholics Anonymous

It was a while in the making. I finally saw the inner workings of the service side of AA, what I assumed would be the most spiritual was the most sick I guess. It seemed all anyone wanted was what they wanted, not what was best for AA as a whole. So to me I had lost a second part of the triangle, the one I believed in most – Service. Between that and the “fake it til you make it” dishonesty in an honesty program. I’m really an atheist and cannot swallow what others do in its entirety. Don’t miss it, gives me lots of free time and less to be resentful at. I did go to a meeting with Flo when I was in Albuquerque but that was for him, I was just along. No one from AA has really reached out to me asking me about it – some have said they want to leave too, so that’s interesting. Continue reading

Eric John – An Interlude

Somewhere over the Atlantic ocean a man named Eric john listened to the ice cubes hit his glass as he swirled his drink over the sound of the droning of the aircraft and the various conversations by the other passengers. The brandy waters down by the ice cubes but would have to do, it was a last minute flight he was lucky to get a first class seat at all.

He hadn’t had time to shave before departure, as always his face by the end of the day looked like it had been a day or two, many men admired the speed he could grow a beard but he found it tiring to have to shave so often. The salt in his dark beard bothered him more than he could explain – age had caught up with him before he was ready. That’s what the old always claimed, time goes faster as you get older. He should have listened.

He closed his eyes set his seat back and focused on his destination, he was finally going to put this all to rest. The boy had been found after all these years, in just a few hours this journey would reach it’s conclusion. That woman… that woman would pay for her interference and meddling.

He was still lost in thought when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, assuming the flight attendant must have something very important to say. Across the aisle was a pretty blonde woman, she was dressed as a professional would be and was smiling at him.

“Do you know the time?” she asked

Eric John couldn’t quite believe the question, the interruption to his own thoughts and her rudeness. He stared at her with a cold glare, reached into his pocket for his ear buds and lost himself in his music. He overheard her mumble something but just closed his eyes, focusing on the music.

Women, he thought, were always a bother. This one was just another in a long line of nuisances he’d run across in the last few years. Not to be trusted, not to be held close… only to be used and then very carefully, so as not to get caught in their schemes or let them ruin his plans.

In just a few hours the plane would land and he would finally retrieve the boy – that was all that mattered now, nothing else can interfere with that.


Earlier chapters of this story begin here: Eric John

Eric John – Part VIII

The beginning of this story can be found here: Eric John

Eric John had been missing two days now.

The police had questioned Mrs Smithton, but she had slipped into a shock where she couldn’t seem to talk at all. She would just stare straight ahead at nothing. Once in a while a tear would form in her eye and run down her cheek. The cheery, helpful Mrs. Smithton that had helped so many children was gone, she might never make it back from this nightmare.

The police also placed an APB and combed  areas between the Smithton’s house and the school but nothing turned up. They were already talking about the length of time the boy had been missing. They started wondering if Mr. Smithton had been part of a larger child sex slavery ring that they should be looking for.

Also were questions of the boy’s father, who was he and did he just come back for the boy and the mother. The missing mother was a quandary – where was she and why hadn’t she come forward after hearing of the boys disappearance on the news.

Children’s services were trying to stay out-of-the-way. This was now a police matter, they decided, and the best resources available were being used – they had other children to look after. Continue reading

Eric John – Part VII

You can read earlier parts of this story starting here: Eric John 

Mrs. Wirsing was worried sick when Eric John didn’t show up for class after the second period. She just knew something bad had happened, the children’s services worker that she had met had assured her he would be in the same school district. Time just seemed to drag as she waited for lunch so she could call him.

The call was answered right away and she expressed her concerns, which actually gave the children’s services worker some fear himself. Kathy was very reliable with the kids placed in her home and would have let the school and children’s services know if Eric John were sick or unable to come to school. After getting off the phone with Mrs. Wirsing he rang the Smithton’s but all he could get was a busy signal. After several tries with no difference he decided it would be best to head on over there to check on the boy’s safety. Continue reading

Thoughts on Eric John

One of the things I don’t think I do well when I write a story is dialogue. It just doesn’t seem to come off well and I don’t like it. I’ve done it a few times where it seems ok but when I look at it I have doubt about what I’ve done and if it should be there at all.

I remember reading one of my favorite writers (of course I can’t recall who) writing that everyone thinks their dialogue is horrid, and they’re right. With practice, they said, it gets better and they understand how to make it flow more. Anyway.. I’m not doing that Ha! But maybe the next project I start working on.

When I started writing Eric John I had some initial dialogue between he and his mother – and it just didn’t sit well with me. The initial chapter where she says good morning to him is the only real quotations in the whole chapter. I don’t bring it back until chapter six either and then briefly so.

I think it’s actually worked out nicely – I’m able to get across what I want to without any real trouble and without anyone having to figure out what who said to who and when all in quotation marks and commas with a thesaurus full of “said” words.

I’m unsure what’s all going to happen next really – I haven’t thought the whole story out. Parts of it come to mind and I get them down and see where they lead me. I’m really not sure what’s going on with a large thread but I think it’ll become clear soon (lets all hope so) but most of what Eric John will experience I know already I just have to finish the journey there.

The foster home story I pulled good things from my memories and twisted them. Its horrible to think like that as I know that for me the experience was a good safe one. But I wanted to try to convey the fear that I felt on the first day and some of that I talk about – eating a big bowl of cereal and a large pantry with a hundred varieties of food and a very nice loving mother type… but all the bad imagery is just make believe. I’m a supporter of foster homes and getting people help when they need it – most foster families are good and help families.

In my head this is all taking place in some English town – never been to an English town so it’s probably all wrong but this is what I’m picturing. When I’m writing I can see their odd streetlights and different looking cars on the streets. Even the houses in my mind are more European than American… I should work on describing those more.

Anyway, I’m not sure how much more story there is but I’ll share it on here with you folks. Thanks to my readers and sharers I appreciate you and your comments.

Eric John – Part V

You can read earlier chapters here – IV here: Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV

This multi-part story a rather new thing for me to try to do – it started with a Parts I and II keeping me up at night running around in my brain being crazy. So I had to write it down. As I was writing it down other parts of the story came and they seemed to make sense so I put them in as well. There have been parts where I was intending to write something and then a thought struck me and I had to change or delay something – that was pretty cool but a little frightening.

This chapter (V) I have been debating whether to write what is in my head or not… it seems to not be a very nice thing and so many bad things have already happened. It was part of the original thought process that was keeping me up though so I feel obligated kind of – as I get started here it may change like it has before. I’m up for the adventure and to see where it all goes.  Continue reading

Eric John – Part IV

Part I can be found here: Eric John

Part II can be found here: Eric John II

Part III can be found here: Eric John III


Eric John spent the day with the folks from children’s services. They kept asking him the same questions over and over a million different ways. He wanted to scream at them that he wasn’t a little kid but every time the scream would come he’d pat it down deep, take a deep breath and answer their question again.

He didn’t know. He wasn’t aware of his father’s whereabouts or even his name. His mother never mentioned her parents nor his fathers parents and he had never actually been curious to meet them – he figured if they were worth meeting his mother surely would have introduced them. Logic and sense were what guided him – what did these things have to do with where his mother was anyway? Continue reading

Eric John Part III

Part I can be found here: Eric John

Part II can be found here: Eric John II


After Eric John’s mother dropped him off for school that morning from the bus stop, she headed for her own job like any other day.

Her walk to work each day was about a mile – it was good exercise and she enjoyed the morning solitude before the chaos of her day job. This particular morning the light breeze ruffled her dress and carried with it some fresh bakery scents. Some mornings she would stop to grab a pastry before heading to the office but this day she was more disciplined.

She thought fondly of her young son, he was such a gift to her and their life together filled her heart with joy. She enjoyed every moment they spent together and though their life was simple, she never wanted to change a thing.  Continue reading

Eric John – Part II

Part I can be found here: Eric John


Wednesday morning Eric John woke up late. His mother had not knocked on the door with her regular greeting, his door was still shut, his room quiet. With trepidation he rose from his bed and headed for his mother’s room to check on her.

Her bedroom door was still open from the night prior, her bed untouched.

Now he was really worried, the whole situation was so alien to him and a monkey wrench into his life. He wasn’t sure what to do now, this was such an extraordinary circumstance he had never imagined his mother wouldn’t be here. Continue reading

Eric John

I haven’t gotten much sleep the last few nights, I’ve had this story brewing inside my head and more and more of it keeps coming out. I’d be just about ready to fall asleep and another part would creep into my thoughts and I’d have to see how it played out. So here we are the first part, I know the second part and third part already and there might be more but I’m not sure.

As I wrote this all out I keep thinking it’s incredibly corny and naive of a story to write but it’s there and if I didn’t put it down on paper it wouldn’t leave me alone. There are some terrible things coming things that just seemed to play out well in my head that I hope I’ll be able to write as well as I visualize them.

I used names of my best friends as I couldn’t think of other names to use – Eric is my best friend, May 21 is his birthday and Suzanne my other best friend, used to be a Wirsing… so there you have it.  Continue reading